AIBU to just do this?

[letsflyaway1]

AIBU to take my 4yo SEN DS to Paeds ED, let myself in the door (work in the service) and just leave him in there in some sort of Paddington like tribute?

Context is that he has a diagnosis of ASD, am lone parenting since his father walking out 6 weeks ago and am currently receiving 0 support from social care despite begging for help and self referring with a view to adoption/foster care options.

Am completely and utterly desperate and would prefer to end both our lives tonight rather than face the endless misery that is SN parenting.

So fed up of this constant changing around. I was in court this morn where the judge signed off the case as placement was finalised and now this! I'd even written a letter to the carers with all his details on it.

Would this foster placement lead to adoption permanently? Or is it a respite for you and your eldest?
I'm really sorry to hear how difficult this is

Not entirely sure on the length of it, if we ever get to start a placement!

Oh Flown what a kick in the guts. I’m so sorry for you.
what do you think the next steps are ?
what have SS said ?

They've gone out to search again, very frustrating for everyone involved. DC1 was gutted as we had made plans for the weekend like cinema and ice skating.

I'm sure they were, and you were both really looking forward to it.

On the positive side, it's still going to happen, it's just a matter of hanging in there until it comes together.

Well - DC goes to their foster placement at 10am this morning, just packing up the final bits. Am feeling very conflicted, guilty, etc. I've not been told where he is living (even a rough area) or much about the carer which is a little disconcerting, but just trying to hold strong.
Elder DC moved out a fortnight ago to his dads as he couldn't bear the turbulent situation at home anymore with his younger sibling. I'm just quite exhausted with everything.

Ex of course hasn't engaged in the process and has seen DC approx 9 hours overall since mid December. Quite unbelievable but there we go

I hope it works out for you. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it must have been.

If you are feeling suicidal and murderous you should call the emergency crisis team immediately

Kind thoughts and best wishes @flowngo

Not today, but yes, good advice to anyone feeling similar. I was in crisis a few weeks ago but sought help

You poor woman.

Hold on.

This is very hard but it is for the best.

You have tried so hard.

Your other child beind driven from their home is not fair.

You need a period of rest after today to try and heal and calm the noise in your head.

Wishing you strength.

Wow! I don't know what to say- I guess, better luck this time? And I hope it sticks. That you get a decent rest, and that DS1 comes home soon.

I have a friend whose DC has moved into residential care this week. Similar reasons. It's very hard. Beyond hard. Unthinkable, until you realise it's essential.

Actually, probably more appropriate than flowers, today.

I am just so so tired. On call today so am distracted by work somewhat but worried about the evenings and nights when I'm alone. Have booked onto some night overtime but need to try and enter my friendship circles again I think. My world had become so small.

I think I will take some leave and go on a little break abroad too. Really need to recuperate.

I’ve just read the whole thread. Sending you lots of 🍫Holiday sounds like a good idea, you must be totally exhausted.

You need to rest and recharge before you contemplate the return of your other child from their father.

Take a break abroad and get your well.

Yes to reaching out ONLY to very supportive people......be very selective!

Sorry if this has already been answered OP, but do you anticipate you'll want to take younger DC back at any point?

I really hope this placement is successful. Can you terminate your parental rights so that the local authority HAS to find alternative solutions if this placement fails?

I've just caught up, glad you've finally gotten some relief. You've done all you can, it can't have been an easy decision despite the very tough situation. Take care of yourself and your else DC, trust in the foster carers (?) To look after dc2.
💐💐

Else DC = elder DC

Sending you a handhold OP xx

Well done. Make some time for yourself now.

So yes he settled in ok yesterday, I had a call from social care around 4pm yesterday to say he was doing fine. Nothing since then, disconcerting but have to keep faith he is ok.
I've been busy with work and my friend took me out for pizza last night so I was kept occupied and away from home which was good to be honest.

Hopefully hear Monday how he is.
I did express to them clearly that he is not able to return home if placement breaks down, remains to be seen what they would do however!