Dad in women's loo .

[HappyDays40]

I have been to the loo in Mc Donald's and was mid flow when a dad walks in with his daughters aged about 4 and 6.He stands waiting while his daughters are using the toilet. I came out and said you are not supposed to be in here.
He said he had to take his daughters to the loo and I told him that he needed to either wait outside or take them the mens. He said they don't need to see that and I told him that he shouldn't be hanging round in women's toilets for any reason. His sense of entitlement gave me the rage so I told a member of staff. I can only imagine how triggering that could be for some women. Intrusive fucker.

My husband regularly takes our kids out for the full day alone. As in, they leave at 8am and won’t be home until 6pm. Places like the zoo and CBeebies land etc.

You’re assuming that a dad can either hold his urine in for 10 hours or that dads can be the sole cater for a child for no more than a few hours at a time.

I see both sides but I'm with you, OP. DH has just confirmed he's never taken DD into the women's, and has never considered it. He's taken her into the men's before because he can usher her straight into a cubicle, and the urinals are discreet ("there's no random dicks wanging around on display!") On balance I think it's a lot less problematic for a child to come in under the protection of her father, than for DH to be stood in the Ladies among women who don't know him.

The bloke in this case was genuine but the women going in and out wouldn't know that, especially as he wasn't in a cubicle with his kids - he'd have just looked like a random bloke on his own at the sinks or whatever. Family loos are the way forward, we shouldn't be normalizing men in the Women's.

Just because they don’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t out and pissing.

I think your perspective is completely absurd- one fully clothed , man, should not be allowed into the womens toilets (where there are private cubicles), in case it makes a woman feel uncomfortable/ unsafe,

but there is “no reason at all” why a small girl shouldn’t be taken into the mens toilets, an all male space, where many/ groups of adult men are openly urinating. As a small child this would have made ME feel extremely uncomfortable and unsafe. But of course I was sexually abused as a child so 💁🏼‍♀️.

It’s absolutely no big deal.

Surely as an adult it doesn’t matter to you, as your good parenting means you don’t need to urinate when out of the house.

So what does he do then? Does he take the girls into the mens loos so he can take a piss?

No idea what you are talking about

Just because they don’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t out and pissing.

In that case, if just knowing that men are standing there having a piss is a problem even if you can't see the penises, how come you're okay with little boys hearing the woman pissing in the next cubicle, seeing used sanitary pads sticking out of the bin, hearing rustling tampon wrappers, and smelling women's piss, shit, and menstrual blood?

You said it yourself, only poor parents need to urinate when out and about. So the toilet issue isn’t actually an issue for you seeing as you don’t need to use them. It is literally a none issue due to your superior parenting.

Oh, and many posters have said you can see penises in male toilets. Funny how you’re erasing what doesn’t fit in with your biased world view.

He could have picked any woman entering the loos and asked her to help the girls if they needed help using the toilets. I can't imagine anyone would refuse a request for help in that situation.

He should not have entered a female toilet.

🙄

?

Then we would see AIBU threads about being asked by some CF male about helping his kids go to the loo.

Or according to MN women in the communal area of the toilet without pants on and washing pants in the sink.

We have one daughter and two sons. All under 6. He takes them all to the men’s if he is out with them alone.

What should he do?

That’s not remotely what I said. You are ridiculous.

But expecting parents not to urinate outside their own homes is completely reasonable apparently 🤣

Apparently so, though I've seen the same number of pairs of bloody knickers being washed in a ladies' sink as I've seen penises being gaily waved about in a gents'.

He’s an adult man, he can anticipate his toilet needs in advance and plan/ hold his urine until he can find an appropriate place to piss. Not necessarily so with a 4 year old. Do adult man to drag their small daughters into the mens loos just so they can have a piss? Perhaps that happens, I wouldn’t consider that to be good parenting.

It is what you said.

Discovereads

most have said you can’t actually including the only man on the thread who has commented on that specific issue.

Tandora - really sorry to hear about your trauma. Can completely understand your fear as a child in going into an environment like a men’s toilet.

However- and I say this respectfully- it can’t be used as a generalised reason to allow dads to bring to young girls into women’s toilets.

if it was just him who needed to go, I would have thought he would find a unisex/
disabled /
family toilet, rather than bringing 3 small children into the small cubicles they have in the regular mens or ladies loos, just to watch him go, but what do I know 💁🏼‍♀️, I’m not in his situation so not fully apprised of the details so can’t really judge I suppose! 😂

So what do you call women not allowing a 4yr old and a 6yr old girl to use said safe space away from men because their comfort is more important than those little girls safety? I think it is very telling that you are not even mentioning these girls and their right to use a female space.

None of us are arguing for men to “subjugate women” or “breach boundaries”. We are saying that very young girls are more vulnerable when in a mens toilet than women are in the womens room while the girls dad innocently accompanies them for safeguarding.

But it’s like girls don’t matter to you at all. Why else would you completely ignore them? 🤷‍♀️

No it isn’t and really this back and
Forth is pointless and not contributing to the debate.