Dad in women's loo .

[HappyDays40]

I have been to the loo in Mc Donald's and was mid flow when a dad walks in with his daughters aged about 4 and 6.He stands waiting while his daughters are using the toilet. I came out and said you are not supposed to be in here.
He said he had to take his daughters to the loo and I told him that he needed to either wait outside or take them the mens. He said they don't need to see that and I told him that he shouldn't be hanging round in women's toilets for any reason. His sense of entitlement gave me the rage so I told a member of staff. I can only imagine how triggering that could be for some women. Intrusive fucker.

Quite.

I know why I’d be there but the women might not.

This exactly, is what it's all about. You have a very sensible and sensitive husband.

Only when “disagreeing” is actually prioritising the demands and expectations of males to enter female only spaces

My disagreement is exposing two little girls to men’s toilets. I prioritise children over grown women. So shoot me.

GrinAndVomit
absolutely.

what’s weird is that despite all the people supporting the man’s right to enter the female toilets here, in real life I’ve never seen an adult male in the female toilets with their children.
so blokes are managing perfectly well somehow aren’t they?

Oh this is an excellent point actually.

If he’s desperate to use the toilet, what does he do?

He can’t possibly bring his daughters in with him. He can’t leave them out side unsupervised either. Does that mean he is permitted to use the women’s facilities himself?

Dunno @GrinAndVomit. What does Mr G&V do?

@Smileyaxolotl1

i know what a handmaiden is supposed to be, I read the book. I get the offensive intent.

I just think shouting someone down on actually quite a nuanced example of this makes people look close-minded and unable to discuss or debate. As I say, I am strongly against men in female spaces. I despise unisex loos and I don’t want someone with a penis using my loo, or my changing room etc.

but I do not think this is a black and white scenario. It warrants discussion. The father himself didn’t want to use the loo he wanted his daughters to use a safe loo and was obligated to safeguard them.

@GrinAndVomit of course he can take a piss in a public toilet! He'd go in with one of the girls and do it!

FFS!

What next!

I know why people want to keep men out of womens toilets- I personally don’t feel comfortable in mixed toilets etc. I am also a victim of rape/ CSA.

However, in this case I think it made more sense for one adult man, accompanying his two small daughters , to go into the women’s toilets where there are private cubicles, rather than to expect a 4 and 6 year old girl to go into a public toilet full of adult men with their penises out, openly urinating.

And I've never et seem a woman washing period knickers in the wash hand basin.

Mr G&V takes her in with him but he also takes her in to use the men’s cubicles if needs be.

My question is directed to those who think a little girl shouldn’t be going into the men’s toilets with her dad.

I have two daughters. When they were younger and with my husband they went to the men's with their dad - of course the dad shouldn't come into the women's.

Go in and take a piss in the women’s toilet?

Mr G&V takes her in with him but he also takes her in to use the men’s cubicles if needs be

I’m glad you’re happy with that because I certainly wouldn’t be.

Ok
So what would you rather he do?

The situation is both he and my daughter need to use the toilet. What should he do?

I'm really baffled that this thread has turned out this way and that some posters are so very blinkered that they can't see what's on the horizon here?

Agreed; this dad was looking out for the best solution for his daughters' toileting needs - he chose what was best/easiest for him. He was in the women's toilet for a specified reason, rightly or wrongly (it's wrongly btw) but nothing untoward happened.

What has happened though, by accepting him in the ladies toilets is that it gives a loud message to other men who may want to be in women's safe space for any reason they want. The shouting down of women who are thinking ahead to when their very young daughters are old enough to go into women's toilets, know what the likelihood is of a male predator being present is, because the floodgates are being opened when so much work has been done to close them and secure them for all women. It will not be so easy, or maybe not even possible, to close them again if we allow men into our safe spaces.

As a woman I want to know that men - at large - will not be in the ladies toilets. Male cleaners are regulated, they are employed and traceable. It is not the same thing at all and to compare random men with employees is futile.

We DO need better facilities to keep pace with parenting changes. Maybe tell the men in your lives to campaign for them; they're far more likely to be successful than we (women) would be.

Leaping onto the 'wonderful dad' scenario as the norm really isn't helpful - he may well be all things good but allowing him into women's safe spaces is a very obvious Trojan Horse and everybody - including 'wonderful dad', will be very sorry when our daughters, wives, whatever have their safe space eradicated by any man who chooses to take it, because he can.

TLDR: One man in, ALL men in.

So you don’t want girls to be ‘exposed’ to men weeing in the mens, but its okay in for girls to be ‘exposed’ to men weeing in the womens? Guessing you give zero shits about boys?

There are three separate arguments which are being muddled here.

The first relates to cleanliness. That men's toilets are filthy and young girls should not be expected to put up with having to use them.

The second relates to modesty. The argument is that it is unsuitable for young girls to be in men's toilets because it outrages their modesty to potentially be subjected to exposed male bodies.

The third is safety - that somehow it is unsafe for girls to be in men's toilets.

I really can't see the justification in any of these arguments. If men's toilets are too filthy for small girls to use, then why is it OK for small boys to use them? In any case, the solution to this is for men collectively to clean up their act and for male parents individually to take wipes and hand gel to clean up for their DC. Equally, if female children's modesty is outraged by seeing undressed men, I can't see why we don't consider the same for male children seeing undressed women. It makes no sense.

The safety argument makes no sense either. Female children accompanied by a male parent in the male facilities are not at risk. They have their parent to protect them. But women and unaccompanied girls are at risk if it becomes acceptable for adult men to enter women's spaces on the slightest pretext. The safety of all women and girls is best preserved by men staying out. If you as a man go in with your 5 year old and normalise men in women's spaces, you are directly contributing to increasing the risk for your DD when she is 7 or 8 and goes in by herself, since it has now become acceptable for unrelated males to access the same space as her on her own and unacceptable for women to challenge this and ensure her safety.

Oh deffo cool as fuck, on Wednesdays I always wear pink 😝

Tandora

many posters have already said that you don’t see penises in male toilets.
there is no reason at all why he couldn’t have taken the girls into the mens.

He’s an adult man, he can anticipate his toilet needs in advance and plan/ hold his urine until he can find an appropriate place to piss. Not necessarily so with a 4 year old. Do adult man to drag their small daughters into the mens loos just so they can have a piss? Perhaps that happens, I wouldn’t consider that to be good parenting.

“Tandora · Today 21:24
ChocolateHippo
And yet no one has explained why it is OK for small boys to be exposed to undressed females while small girls must not be expected to risk even the slightest glance of any part of an undressed male 🙄.

I really don’t think it’s the same thing at all tbh. In the same way that men can be a threat to women, they also can be a threat to children. I don’t know the specific stats, but the overwhelming majority of child sexual predators are men.“

But Tandora- it’s a well known fact that most child sexual abuse is perpetuated by men- by men KNOWN to the child (70%). Not some random bloke using a urinal with their back to the child in the presence of their dad.

Nudity is nudity - whether it be female or male.

Plus at the age of 6 - if my child was uncomfortable using the men’s- which is entirely reasonable - I would have hoped her dad would have supported her to use the women’s whilst he waited OUTSIDE.

I take it mums dragging their sons into the womens toilets are also not good parents?

Would you have been OK if this was a womans changing room and the father brought his 4 and 6 year olds in to try on new clothes. I don't see how this is any different.

ChocolateHippo

very well said. X