Page 28 | Dad in women's loo .

HappyDays40 · 2022-06-04T13:02:16+00:00

I have been to the loo in Mc Donald's and was mid flow when a dad walks in with his daughters aged about 4 and 6.He stands waiting while his daughters are using the toilet. I came out and said you are not supposed to be in here. He said he had to take his daughters to the loo and I told him that he needed to either wait outside or take them the mens. He said they don't need to see that and I told him that he shouldn't be hanging round in women's toilets for any reason. His sense of entitlement gave me the rage so I told a member of staff. I can only imagine how triggering that could be for some women. Intrusive fucker.

Discovereads · 04/06/2022 19:42

GrinAndVomit · 04/06/2022 19:40

Petition for more family toilets and facilities?
Nah it’s much easier to just give them women’s spaces. Fuck it.

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That’s what I suggested to the OP. Complain about the lack of family toilets. Being angry at the dad is misdirected anger. However that is a long term solution. In the interim you are a Dad and have a 4 yr old girl and 6yr old girl that need a toilet NOW. They can’t hold their wee until a family toilet is built on site.

daretodenim · 04/06/2022 19:45

Why is the fact that mens loos are dirty and/or unsafe the excuse reason for men in women's? Why are dads not making campaigns targeting men's filthy and unsafe behaviours? That's the obvious solution here. The fact that men piss over seats and floors and this is viewed as inevitable shows how low the bar for their behaviour is.

Like with most other things, if we focussed on men's behaviour, rather than workarounds women can facilitate, a lot of social problems could be tackled.

hangrylady · 04/06/2022 19:58

Alb0 · 04/06/2022 17:36

@Hell0daisy Thanks for telling a rape survivor and a survivor of a sexual assault in a womens toilet by a man that she is 'precious' and 'triggered'. You sound very short-sighted, callous and ignorant.

Women wash out period-stained underwear at the sink, adjust themselves, change to go clubbing, etc. It is not merely 'washing hands'. If it was, there would be no 'womens' facilities.

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In my 43 years I have never once seen a woman wash their bloody knickers in a public loo sink. That's fucking gross and way more inappropriate than a dad accompanying his 2 little girls to the toilet.

PurpleButterflyWings · 04/06/2022 20:01

@CockSpadget

PMSL , no it's not.

PurpleButterflyWings · 04/06/2022 20:01

@CockSpadget

It's neither scummy or selfish to take the girls into the accessible toilet, but a man going into a womens toilet, most definitely is, and it's also illegal.

PMSL. No it's not!

XenoBitch · 04/06/2022 20:02

In my 43 years I have never once seen a woman wash their bloody knickers in a public loo sink. That's fucking gross and way more inappropriate than a dad accompanying his 2 little girls to the toilet

I have cleaned loos as a job. Believe me, the womens are far worse than the mens.
I have had to tackle shit and blood up the cubicle walls in ladies loos. Why?

PurpleButterflyWings · 04/06/2022 20:03

hangrylady · 04/06/2022 19:58

In my 43 years I have never once seen a woman wash their bloody knickers in a public loo sink. That's fucking gross and way more inappropriate than a dad accompanying his 2 little girls to the toilet.

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@hangrylady

In my 43 years I have never once seen a woman wash their bloody knickers in a public loo sink. That's fucking gross and way more inappropriate than a dad accompanying his 2 little girls to the toilet.

Same here. No way do women do this in public loos. The amount of stuff people are coming out with on here to support their argument is off the wall!

daretodenim · 04/06/2022 20:03

I walked into women's loos last month and came across a sad with two young kids. I hadn't had this experience before. What happened was that my heart jumped into my mouth and I couldn't speak. I stepped back, checked the sign on the door - while noticing there were no urinals - and paused. He acted SO entitled to be there. My heart rate was through the roof

I know he was there because of his kids. Rationally I knows it then (could see the kids!). But that's rational. If he'd said something apologetic like "Sorry, I'm just with my kids, men's were filthy" (or similar) it wouldn't have been so bad. But his attitude that he had as much right to be there as me - if not more - was, in the context of a single sex space, extremely fear-inducing. My history gives me very good reason to fear men in places I expect to be safe - and this is my reaction after significant trauma therapy.

If toilets are not single sex, then that's not great but at least I know. When they're marked as single sex then finding a man in there - especially one who doesn't recognise he's crossed a line - is quite serious for me.

And I wish, wish, wish I had no reason to respond like that. But the reality is that I do and it's purely because of men's entitlement to doing what they (plural) wanted over my boundaries, with no regard to how that impacted me either in the moments or after.

daretodenim · 04/06/2022 20:04

*dad!

PurpleButterflyWings · 04/06/2022 20:04

XenoBitch · 04/06/2022 20:02

In my 43 years I have never once seen a woman wash their bloody knickers in a public loo sink. That's fucking gross and way more inappropriate than a dad accompanying his 2 little girls to the toilet

I have cleaned loos as a job. Believe me, the womens are far worse than the mens.
I have had to tackle shit and blood up the cubicle walls in ladies loos. Why?

I have never seen this in ANY public loo I have been in. You must live/work in a rough and nasty area.

Beautifulmonster87 · 04/06/2022 20:04

Oh ffs get a grip. Why do some people assume all men are a risk and assume they must be up to no good?! He was keeping his children safe and understandably didn’t want to subject them to penises in full sight. You know why he was in there so why make a big deal out of it?

XenoBitch · 04/06/2022 20:05

PurpleButterflyWings · 04/06/2022 20:04

I have never seen this in ANY public loo I have been in. You must live/work in a rough and nasty area.

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Offices mostly. And hospitals.

Beautifulmonster87 · 04/06/2022 20:06

daretodenim · 04/06/2022 20:03

I walked into women's loos last month and came across a sad with two young kids. I hadn't had this experience before. What happened was that my heart jumped into my mouth and I couldn't speak. I stepped back, checked the sign on the door - while noticing there were no urinals - and paused. He acted SO entitled to be there. My heart rate was through the roof

I know he was there because of his kids. Rationally I knows it then (could see the kids!). But that's rational. If he'd said something apologetic like "Sorry, I'm just with my kids, men's were filthy" (or similar) it wouldn't have been so bad. But his attitude that he had as much right to be there as me - if not more - was, in the context of a single sex space, extremely fear-inducing. My history gives me very good reason to fear men in places I expect to be safe - and this is my reaction after significant trauma therapy.

If toilets are not single sex, then that's not great but at least I know. When they're marked as single sex then finding a man in there - especially one who doesn't recognise he's crossed a line - is quite serious for me.

And I wish, wish, wish I had no reason to respond like that. But the reality is that I do and it's purely because of men's entitlement to doing what they (plural) wanted over my boundaries, with no regard to how that impacted me either in the moments or after.

Not all men do this though.

Moodycow78 · 04/06/2022 20:07

I think 2 young girls with their dad in the mens is fine. A grown man in the womens, potentially with young girls he's not the father of, is not ok at all, he shouldn't have been in there.

JumpingPiglets · 04/06/2022 20:08

@Discovereads what do you mean "erasing" a six year old?

Beautifulmonster87 · 04/06/2022 20:08

daretodenim · 04/06/2022 19:45

Why is the fact that mens loos are dirty and/or unsafe the excuse reason for men in women's? Why are dads not making campaigns targeting men's filthy and unsafe behaviours? That's the obvious solution here. The fact that men piss over seats and floors and this is viewed as inevitable shows how low the bar for their behaviour is.

Like with most other things, if we focussed on men's behaviour, rather than workarounds women can facilitate, a lot of social problems could be tackled.

It’s more the fact that men have urinals so his daughters may see penises totally unnecessarily! He went in to the womens to keep his girls safe and they plus the other women were behind doors not being watched etc. What’s the issue?

girlmom21 · 04/06/2022 20:10

Moodycow78 · 04/06/2022 20:07

I think 2 young girls with their dad in the mens is fine. A grown man in the womens, potentially with young girls he's not the father of, is not ok at all, he shouldn't have been in there.

What about all the other men in the mens toilets with girls they're not the parents of?

Prinnny · 04/06/2022 20:10

GrinAndVomit · 04/06/2022 19:29

But the bigger picture in this scenario is that a man was helping his child to toilet, to leave them unsupervised would put them in a vulnerable position and become a safeguarding issue.

Surely you are not so blinded by the thin edge of the wedge you cannot see that a little girl needed her caregiver, who is unfortunately a male, in that moment?

No. The bigger issue is males feeling entitled to access female only spaces. He should have asked the staff to check the toilets and waited until they were empty and then stand outside (perhaps with the door open) until his daughter was finished. Not just decide he had a right to be in there and be indignant when a women expressed her discomfort.
The solution is not for women to shut up and put up. We’ve had enough of that, thank you very much.

Oh have we? Maybe don’t be as presumptuous to think you speak for all women when multiple on this thread have told you they have no issue with a dad helping his young child.

RosieRooster83 · 04/06/2022 20:12

Has the OP even been back on? 🤔

Pixies74 · 04/06/2022 20:14

Discovereads · 04/06/2022 14:12

This would not have bothered me as the 4yr old is too young to be expected to go on her own without a parent on hand to help. And if mum isn’t around, what else is a dad to do? I disagree completely that he should have taken them into the mens room because mens rooms have urinals so little girls would be seeing mens penises. At least in a womens room it is all cubicles so there is more privacy for everyone concerned.

If you want to blame anyone or complain, complain about there being no family toilet in the venue instead of calling a Dad raising two young daughters an “intrusive fucker”.

Absolutely this.

Completely more inappropriate for young girls to go into men's toilets.

namechangetheworld · 04/06/2022 20:14

Posts like this baffle me. I don't know how some of you cope with everyday life if the mere thought of a man hearing you wee behind a LOCKED CUBICLE DOOR is so bloody triggering. What exactly did you think he was going to do to you?

Skihound · 04/06/2022 20:15

My daughters do a particular hobby and the layout at the Center (as with a lot of others we have trained at) is that to get to the toilet cubicles part you have to walk past / through the open changing rooms, in this case would the male have used the female ones walking through where women are actually getting changed (you wouldn’t know until in)? When DH took the girls alone (rare) he said the mens are disgusting as shared with 5 aside pitches so men getting changed mess and really bad language, never once was he tempted to use the ladies instead, he simply covered their eyes and cleaned the seat. I know this is slightly different but where is the boundary ?

tkwal · 04/06/2022 20:17

He was right. Mens toilets are not suitable places to take little girls.

maythe4thbewithme · 04/06/2022 20:19

namechangetheworld · 04/06/2022 20:14

Posts like this baffle me. I don't know how some of you cope with everyday life if the mere thought of a man hearing you wee behind a LOCKED CUBICLE DOOR is so bloody triggering. What exactly did you think he was going to do to you?

This

I hate the use of the word "triggering" anyway but it's like anyone with a penis these days is an abuser or sex offender or serial killer

I actually fear more for my son growing up in this world than my daughters as he's judged by merely having a Y chromosome.

xsquared · 04/06/2022 20:21

I see his dilemma.

I remember being taken to the men's loo when I was young and it was gross, but then I hate public toilets in general.

I would have preferred dh to have taken dd to the accessible toilets rather than the men's if available, but he wouldn't dream of taking her to the ladies.