Dad in women's loo .

[HappyDays40]

I have been to the loo in Mc Donald's and was mid flow when a dad walks in with his daughters aged about 4 and 6.He stands waiting while his daughters are using the toilet. I came out and said you are not supposed to be in here.
He said he had to take his daughters to the loo and I told him that he needed to either wait outside or take them the mens. He said they don't need to see that and I told him that he shouldn't be hanging round in women's toilets for any reason. His sense of entitlement gave me the rage so I told a member of staff. I can only imagine how triggering that could be for some women. Intrusive fucker.

You're a male adult with a male child and you use the women's toilets because they're nicer??

*

I was often out and about with my DF when I was 4. I had to go into the ladies' by myself and he waited outside.

Yep! Clearly never seen a urinal!

As I've never been inside the men's toilets, I've asked my adult DS and my DH if penises are visible when walking past urinals and had they ever seen one.

The answer was a definite no and very much in agreement with @Simonjt posts.

It isn't the 6 year old that I would be the most concerned about. It is the 4 year old, and I can understand a parent preferring not to leave a 6 year old to supervise a 4 year old.

The point about family friendly toilet facilities being needed is valid.

It’s not a strawman because a 4 and 6yr old cannot safely go alone into a womens toilet. They are too young. And if the only parent available is the dad, it’s an allowable exception imho because the safety of girls is more important than the comfort of any women who might happen to be in there too.

I come from a country where unisex toilets are quite common so have been that 8yo coming out of a cubicle to see a man standing waiting to go in or washing his hands. I managed to grow up not seeing every man in women's spaces as a threat. A man in a ladies loo changing his child's nappy is no more of a threat to me than one standing in front of me in a supermarket queue.

I would LOVE to know how many of the hand wringers on this thread are actually survivors of sexual assault by men since so many seem determined to speak for us in order to make their points.

I wouldn't have let my 6 year old ds1 supervise his younger brother alone in a men's toilet either. I would take them into a ladies because I don't think they'd have managed on their own very well in those circumstances. Perhaps the dad could've asked for help and communicated the problem better but I understand the difficulty for single dads of girls. This has always been a problem and one which has not yet been resolved. Another reason for unisex facilities perhaps?

The parent should use the toilets appropriate to the sex of the accompanying adult. Many small children don’t lock the door if they’re using the toilet- why should other small girls have to put up with a man coming in and standing about in the female toilets? What about women taking a pram in, where you can’t fit it in the cubicle and shut the door?

If he was standing around, it sounds like the children didn’t need help and he could have waited outside.

If he didn’t want his children to see other men in the men’s toilets, he could check in advance and wait for them to be empty.

If his children are unable to clean themselves after using the toilet, then many McDonalds put the baby change in the accessible loo.

The legislation states that single sex services are permitted where:

"more than one person and a woman might object to the presence of a man (or vice versa)".

This could be applied to single sex toilets but this is just based on it being lawful to provide single sex toilets and for it to not be considered discrimination based upon sex.

However, considering the legislations implication is for the service to only be available to a single sex, that would lawfully prohibit the other sex from using that service.

I would draw the conclusion from that that it is unlawful to use the service that is specifically designed for a single sex.

And at 4 and 6 they will be using the toilets at school.He didn’t need to be in there at all.

@Quincythequince the toilets at school are safe to use unaccompanied there are no strangers in school and adults don’t use the same toilets as the children.

Yep. And it's in a little McDonalds which is child-friendly! Not a major restaurant or public park or train station facilities where hundreds people pass by a second.

Oh get over it.

My dad took me in to the men's at sports stadiums when was a child and saw penises. I remember it clearly despite not remembering any of the events we were attending so what does that tell you.

It's unacceptable for him to be in there. Little girls can start their periods at 8. Having a daughter that was very young to start she would have been horrified at a man being in there. She was often getting blood on her hands or needing help to wrap a pad or find a bin so not all confined to a cubicle. I would have told him to get out. I find it bizarre that so many people feel men are spending all their time in the men's waving their dick around, that's not how it works. I also don't get why a little girl mustn't possibly walk past a urinal but a small boy can. My son's understanding of penises and what they are for was no different to my daughter's at age 4 or 6. If the men's are such a den of perverts why do we think it's ok for little boys to be exposed?

Can you imagine this in reverse? A woman taking her boys into the men's toilets.

Nope, me neither. It's not women's problem if men's toilets are unsafe and insanitary. Nor should it be made their problem. Men should clean up their act.

Why can’t they safely go into the ladies?
Why?

They are not too young.

You’re talking utter shite.

And I’d they are too young, then their dad needs to make sure that he finds somewhere they can go, with his help, if indeed they need it.

What law? Please post it.

This!

I agree with you OP. There's no need for the man to be in the women's toilets. My H always took our daughters (4 of them) to the men's loos when they were too young to go in to the ladies alone. I always took our sons to the ladies with me when they were too young to go into the gents alone. My daughters were never assaulted or shocked and appear to be very undamaged from the whole experience.

I do not want men in the ladies loos. There's no need to be in them.

(and if the reason is that the men's are too disgusting - go and sort that out, the answer isn't to use the ladies).

This is not ok!
A 4 & 6 year old are perfectly able to go to the toilet unaccompanied and the dad could have waited outside!
I am not remotely comfortable with men in womens spaces!!

No.

Men should take girls into the mens or the girls go into the women's alone.

Although I absolutely value single sex spaces, as a mum of boys I do see the advantage of having some unisex toilets.

I also think it's reasonable to use the accessible toilet in this scenario.

Many women change at the sinks (to go clubbing or for any reason) because there is no room in a right cubicle. Or adjust themselves at the sink. Or, as has happened to me, had a 'flood' and had to wash and dry period-stained underwear at the sink. Can you really not see why a woman would feel humiliated having to do that in front of a man, @Natty13 ?

Men shouldn't be in the ladies for any reason at all. You can't start making exceptions.