To wonder what this means-fwb?

[SunflowerEvie]

Hi all,

I am currently in a friends with benefits type of situation. I am due to go over to his house tonight but I started my period this morning. I have told him that it has started and his response is ‘it’s not all about the sex baby, we can do other stuff you know’

Does this mean he sees this more than a sexual relationship? I really was not expecting that response from him. I thought he would want to rearrange but I’m actually pleasantly surprised.

Since Bill Clinton said 'I did not have sex with that woman' when his intern was giving him blow jobs?

😂😂😂😂😂😂

To be honest I’m happy either way. I do enjoy his company. I will update this evening 😄

Me and my husband started out as fwb the key is we where friends and would also do stuff together

Definitely wants either a BJ or to take you up the marmite motorway.

I do like him but I realise it may not turn into anything serious. He lives on the same road as me and we have known/spoke to each other in person for quite some time before the sexual contact started

@Squiff70 🤣 not heard that one before!

If I just gave someone a blow job I wouldn't say that we had had sex.

(Has anyone seen Clerks? 37?!)

This is why FWB arrangements are just bollocks generally… it’s nearly always about one person (usually the woman) pretending it’s just sex but desperately clinging on in for crumbs in hope of a relationship. Talk about men having their cake and eating it and us as women facilitating it. But then I’m not modern or cool so expect all the shit back pretending it’s about being cool and independent in response to this 🙄

So you live on the same street but don’t spend time together unless you’re at each other’s house having sex?

Sounds more like FB than FWB.

It’s good you’re keeping an open mind though OP and I hope whatever “stuff” he has in mind that you have a good time.

I'd say blow jobs/hand jobs/cunnilingus are sex acts or sexual contact, not 'sex', per se. They very often form part of foreplay and are a precursor to penetrative sex: and you perform them on someone, which is distinct from sex intercourse you have with someone.

I don't think he's getting OP round to make Jubilee trifle or discuss the latest Julian Barnes. I may be mistaken.

It means that you can have non-penetrative sex too.
Roughly translated as oral for him

This was my first thought too I’m afraid!

You need to decide exactly what you are to each other. Friends or fuck buddies?

This can only really be decided together, through discussion or at least agreement.

OP seems to know know and have no concept that she deserves a role in that decision. How sad.

I completely agree. Labelling these things with positive words like “friend” and “buddy” doesn’t sit right with me. My friends don’t use me for sex.

To explain my earlier comment

anal is sex, bj is sexual contact.

The way I see it (and have unfortunately experienced it with a fwb in my 20's) they start with suggesting a bj and then suggest we'll we are here we are both worked up and horny while don't we go the other way...

And I am sure every woman here has experienced men saying they ain't just all about sex only for it to turn out that indeed that is what they wanted all along. So I wouldn't attach any meaning to his comment about other stuff. Obviously I am interpreting his comments from my own personal (shitty lol) experience, and he may well be a decent guy who is totally innocent lol

BJ

I’m more confused by why being on your period matters more than I am about what his intentions are? Why would you not have sex because you have your period? Is this a thing?

Lots of people don’t feel comfortable having sex on their period so yes it is a “thing” 🙄

And tricking us into believing it’s “empowering”
It’s pretty sad

Well what else could he have said? “Oh don’t bother coming round then” would have been pretty rude even for FWB. I wouldn’t read anything into it.

People don't seem to get the difference between and fwb & a fuck buddy!

Definitely!

I had a FWB and we were genuinely best friends who did lots of things together like cinema, bowling, shopping, gym, clubbing etc etc but we also had sex. We were very intimate and affectionate with each other and would often not do anything sexual. We would also text all day and buy each other gifts and do romantic gestures.
It’s basically a relationship without the commitment which neither of us wanted.

It sounds like as you are questioning if he wants more it’s because you want more.

Why not say to him you want more?
If you get on well and you are attracted to each other then why not give it a shot but remember there may be a reason he’d rather be just fwb so be prepared.

Of course it is a thing! You cannot honestly have never come across this before.

Assume this is wind up as would be vile if you actually do that...

Hi guys
thanks for all your replies. Slightly off topic but not really. Looking at the dates etc this can’t possibly be my period I don’t think. Plus I usually get terrible cramps and I don’t now. I recently had the implant put it. Could it be a side effect of this? It’s very light spotting but more brown.. definitely not pregnant!