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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have people comment I'm paranoid continuing to use 'baby' monitor

221 replies

Gemma273 · 30/05/2022 20:13

My wee one is nearly 3 and I still religiously use baby monitor every night, I don't think I'd settle without it, it's rarely needed as wakening up at night is very rare but I've had a few comments from family/friends that I'm being ridiculous and far too over protective. It's really annoyed me to be fair, any alone else still use their monitor for older kids?

OP posts:
Findahouse21 · 30/05/2022 20:15

I used one for dd u til she was 5 as she moved up onto a different floor. We've moved house now but the layout means that I wouldn't hear either child if they wake - dd1 is now 7 and we will use one if she is poorly as she likes to now she can just shout for me

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 30/05/2022 20:16

Unless you are hear-impaired I'd find it weird.

RovenderKitt · 30/05/2022 20:17

Yep, We did. We sleep on a different floor to the kids and wouldn’t have heard them without the monitor. Continued until we were confident they would come and get us if they needed anything. Youngest was probably about 5 when we stopped.

mynameiscalypso · 30/05/2022 20:17

DS is nearly 3 and we still use it. It's not because I'm worried or overprotective but that I'm too lazy to get out of bed unless DS is actually properly awake. Quite often he makes noises but he's still asleep. Having the monitor means that I can check that all is okay and I don't need to get up.

IcedOatLatte · 30/05/2022 20:19

I think it's odd and OTT but you can't be unreasonable for other people's comments so I don't understand the question.

How are so many people to annoy you knowing about your baby monitor arrangements in the first place?

orwellwasright · 30/05/2022 20:20

Never had one so 🤷‍♀️

Aaaaabbbuuuukkkkjjjjkkkk · 30/05/2022 20:20

Funny, I was thinking about this today.

We use ours and our child is 2.5 - just audio only.

She still wakes in the night sometimes, but not all the time. We'd not hear her downstairs if she was upstairs. Nor when we're sleeping, I don't think it'd wake us.

We also have a white noise machine in her room still but that's cus she requests it on.

orwellwasright · 30/05/2022 20:21

Someone I know still uses one in their 13 year old daughter's room.

Robostripes · 30/05/2022 20:21

I babysat for a friend recently who has an 8 year old and 5 year old. I was most surprised to be shown the baby monitors for them both 😳😳 frankly I think it’s very odd and the 8 year old especially needs her privacy! We haven’t used one with my DS since he was about 18 months. My friend must have seen my surprise and justified it by saying they can’t hear the kids because their house is so big - but my thinking is so what?! Surely an 8 year old and a 5 year old are capable of shouting if they need you or getting out of bed and coming to find you?

Aaaaabbbuuuukkkkjjjjkkkk · 30/05/2022 20:21

I mean, without the monitor. I don't think we'd hear her.

SamMil · 30/05/2022 20:22

We still use one and ours is 4.5 years old. For similar reasons to the person above, if she makes noise we can check she is ok without having to go into her room (and potentially wake her up properly!). She does sleep talk sometimes so it is handy.

We also have a few doors between her bedroom and ours so wouldn't necessarily hear her otherwise.

Aaaaabbbuuuukkkkjjjjkkkk · 30/05/2022 20:22

Oh... and the cot sides are still up so she couldn't come into our room to wake us. (She's never tried to climb out so I'm leaving them on for as long as I can get away with it!!!!)

st1cky · 30/05/2022 20:23

I stopped at not long before 2ish, but can hear DC easily (just leave my door open) and sleep is really predictable.

Greatoutdoors · 30/05/2022 20:23

Just don’t tell them. I didn’t use a monitor but if it makes you feel better it’s not doing any harm. It’s no-one else’s business.

MissDollyMix · 30/05/2022 20:25

It surely depends on both your child and your house? My friend uses one for her 6yo but she sleeps on the third floor of a big house. I was a little surprised because aforementioned child is very verbose and I’m certain if she had any issues she would be more than capable of finding her parents to express them but who am I to judge? Not my circus, not my monkeys.

InChocolateWeTrust · 30/05/2022 20:26

By around age 2.5 mine would get out of bed and come to find me on the rare occasion they needed something in ths night so a monitor was a bit pointless. We could hear them anyway.

orwellwasright · 30/05/2022 20:27

Why are people so surprised that others know the OP's baby monitor situation?

You go round to someone's house for dinner, they plonk the monitor on the table and then gaze at it all night... It's not rocket science to work out they're still using a baby monitor.

InChocolateWeTrust · 30/05/2022 20:27

I suppose I do think at some stage they need to learn to go and find help rather than just sit there wailing until someone comes

BeeEllEyePeePeeEye · 30/05/2022 20:28

Depends on the kids really. Are they willing or able to get out of bed and find you if they need something? Do you have to intervene quickly with any wakes otherwise it gets crazy? (Ds2 looking at you)

My DC are 5 and 3 and we still have one. Ds2 still wakes often and it turns into a whole thing if you don't respond quickly, plus he sleepwalks. Dc1 has ASD and is unsafe awake without supervision. The monitor gives me peace of mind. Do what works for you, why does it matter what others think or do?

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 30/05/2022 20:28

IcedOatLatte · 30/05/2022 20:19

I think it's odd and OTT but you can't be unreasonable for other people's comments so I don't understand the question.

How are so many people to annoy you knowing about your baby monitor arrangements in the first place?

I must be very odd and o.t.t then. Got one for 4.5year old and another for 1.5 year old in separate rooms- hadn't occurred to me to not use them.

we are up and down to them multiple times every evening before we go to bed- if they're not switched on and they wake too far we end up with hours and hours of getting them off to sleep.

I can't imagine I could relax and switch off if they didn't have them. Unless you mean overnight?

RandomQuest · 30/05/2022 20:28

I don’t use one routinely with my 1YO because he’s a reliable sleeper and we hear when he wakes wherever we are. I do have an audio only one we use just in case when we go into the garden of the evening though. Almost 3 does seem quite old but if he’s still in a cot and/or your house is very large then it might be needed longer than average. Weird that you’ve had so many comments about it though, I have no idea at what age any friends/family stopped using the monitor, it’s never come up in normal conversation!

TheGoogleMum · 30/05/2022 20:28

We still use ours, DD is 3. Otherwise we might not hear her that well

FallopianTubeTrain · 30/05/2022 20:29

DS is nearly 4 and we still use ours, he doesn't wake up much anymore but does very occasionally fall out of bed and he's far enough away that we wouldn't hear him crying. He's moving bedrooms in July to the one next to ours and we'll probably stop using it then. When he goes to school in September feels like the cut off between us being available and giving him privacy imo. If it gives you peace of mind I can't see the issue when they're still little.

Mumoblue · 30/05/2022 20:29

I still use one for my son who is almost two and a half.
I’m hearing impaired and he has a tendency to wake upset (rarely but it does happen, I’d say around once a month) and to run to the top of the stairs crying. The monitor gives me a head start.

I’ll probably stop using it when I feel comfortable that he’s gotten out of that habit.

TheChosenTwo · 30/05/2022 20:29

We used one for dd1 as she slept a floor up
from us and we lived in a big house - with subsequent children the house set up was different and they all slept on the same floor as us. Our reasoning was that if they were properly crying and upset we would hear them anyway and go in but if it was just low level whingeing and weird sleep noises I didn’t want to be hearing it anyway!