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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have people comment I'm paranoid continuing to use 'baby' monitor

221 replies

Gemma273 · 30/05/2022 20:13

My wee one is nearly 3 and I still religiously use baby monitor every night, I don't think I'd settle without it, it's rarely needed as wakening up at night is very rare but I've had a few comments from family/friends that I'm being ridiculous and far too over protective. It's really annoyed me to be fair, any alone else still use their monitor for older kids?

OP posts:
Theresnoroomonthebroom · 30/05/2022 22:46

I have an audio monitor for my DS8 and DS5. DS8 is deaf and is terrified when he wakes up at night so I need to be able to hear him calling for me. DS5 is a terrible sleep walker. It works for us and if it works for you I wouldn’t worry about whatever anyone else thinks xx

User6761 · 30/05/2022 22:48

My child's just turned two but I think I'll continue using ours for a while as I'm hearing impaired so I need it to amplify the volume. I think layout of house and thickness of walls also makes a big difference to how long one is needed for.

DoItAfraid · 30/05/2022 22:53

Whoopsies · 30/05/2022 20:43

I gave up using mine when my son went into a bed at 2, when he woke after that he would silently get up and just appear wherever I am!

@Whoopsies this made me laugh so much.

Do yours just stand at the edge of the bed and silently glare you awake?

It is honestly the worst way to be woken 🙈.

PrinnyPree · 30/05/2022 22:55

My son's 2 and the sides are still up on the cotbed, I'll continue using mine until I convert to a bed, there's no need for stair gates anymore and when he is fully toilet trained.

He sleeps through but when I put him to bed and go back downstairs I wouldn't be able to hear him in his bedroom over the telly (on normal volume) downstairs in the living room unless he was properly screaming the house down. I have a small house too.

I suspect I will still use it at 3 but probably no need by 4. X

KarmaStar · 30/05/2022 22:59

If she's on another floor yes.
if you can't hear her from your room,yes
if you can hear her yabu.

toomuchlaundry · 30/05/2022 23:00

For posters using them for DC of 4 or 5yo and no medical needs, what age do you think you will stop using them?

saraclara · 30/05/2022 23:08

flower04958 · 30/05/2022 22:02

I babysat for a 6 year old who had one once and it felt so inappropriate. I understand her parents were doing it to be protective but she clearly thought her room was her own private place, she was "playing" with her imaginary friends and toys and singing a song in bed and I just thought, it feels wrong to be able to watch/hear her little private world :/

That's exactly how I'd feel. It's intrusive and a child's privacy should be respected at that age imo. I certainly wouldn't eavesdrop on them beyond three or four.

VintageVest · 30/05/2022 23:08

At 2 my son wouldn't have got out of bed if he woke, he would call for us and get really upset if no-one heard him. The monitor allowed us to get to him before he became hysterical and get him straight back to sleep.

At 3 we stopped using it as we had another baby and the eldest would come to the top of the stairs and shout for us anyway by that point. If the new baby hadn't come along I'm not sure when we would have stopped using it.

Twopandemicpregnancies · 30/05/2022 23:09

We use baby monitors in the evening as the living room is far from the bedrooms so we wouldn’t hear them above the TV noise. When we go to bed, near to their rooms, we switch the monitors off

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 30/05/2022 23:19

I think it's a bit odd to use it past the age that a child can come and get you if they need you, but not odd enough to comment on.

My kids once they slept through were very reliable sleepers. I can't actually remember when we stopped using ours, but it was early as the connection was very poor so it didn't make a noise anyway!

ThatNewGirl · 30/05/2022 23:21

Do yours just stand at the edge of the bed and silently glare you awake?

It is honestly the worst way to be woken

GrinGrinGrin it really is petrifying!

KatherineofGaunt · 30/05/2022 23:22

We have one for our 3.5 year old DC. I'd like to say that my being partially deaf is part of it, but DH likes it too and it's just habit now. I like to watch DC when they're asleep and I always wait for them to wriggle before I go to sleep. I don't know, I just kind of like knowing I can always see them!

When DC goes to school and moves from the toddler bed to the big single bed, I'll possibly get rid. But it is handy when we're watching something downstairs and if you hear a noise you can see if DC is up and about or not.

OP, you do you. Everyone does things differently.

Purringcat3 · 30/05/2022 23:24

Can’t be odd. It’s reassuring, what’s wrong with that?
13 yo with epilepsy here and we use a video monitor anyway.

Rno3gfr · 30/05/2022 23:32

We’ve never really needed one due to the layout of our house. We’ve always been able to hear him really clearly. If we couldn’t then I’d probably still have a baby monitor now (he’s 3.5).

Mind you, whenever he wakes up it’s guaranteed I’m going to get an unpleasant awakening very soon after- his routine is to fling himself on the bed, normally aiming his elbows at my boobs, if that fails then a sharp foot to daddy’s balls usually suffices to have us all awake.

shreddednips · 30/05/2022 23:36

We use one still. DS is 3.5, we don't use a video one just one with audio. We'll stop using it as soon as he gets out of bed to come and find us. As yet, he doesn't seem to understand that he can (although I've explained that he's allowed if he needs to.) He's not once got out of bed on his own, and I can't hear him without it.

At the moment I'm trying to sleep with him coughing away, so I'll be very glad when I can dispense with the bloody monitor 🤦🏼‍♀️

Dibbydoos · 30/05/2022 23:45

Why wouldn't you carry on using it? I think they're great.
My DSD uses Alexa as hers now and my DSGD (10 yo) uses it to talk to her parents through too, like an intercom.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 30/05/2022 23:49

I used mine until my oldest was about 6. It was mainly so if I heard a suspect noise after his bedtime I could check on the monitor without disturbing him. Also he was always quite sicky so was handy again to monitor when he was under the weather.

MelonsMelonsMelons · 31/05/2022 00:05

Don’t see the issue personally. If it makes you feel more comfortable, where’s the harm in it? I don’t know people get off judging people for such normal behaviour.

Nanny0gg · 31/05/2022 00:51

orwellwasright · 30/05/2022 20:21

Someone I know still uses one in their 13 year old daughter's room.

That's horrifically intrusive!

AnnaSW1 · 31/05/2022 01:18

Mine are 4 and we still use them to chat to them. I can't hear them shout or ask me something without the monitor on,

upnorthsomewhere · 31/05/2022 01:29

We used ours to dd was 3.5 it wasn't necessary but we had it so it might as well be on probably would still use it now but it broke. I liked it we would never hear her downstairs otherwise and sometimes if she had a nightmare we could get to her before she'd come out of bed and into us.

Ponderingwindow · 31/05/2022 01:35

we stopped using the “baby” monitor when dd asked us to stop. We did not protest and agreed immediately, even if we did worry a bit. I think she was 5, but she might have been 4.

In our defense, she has severe asthma and at that age it was still not well controlled because the available medications for her age and size were limited.

Marvellousmadness · 31/05/2022 03:57

It is a BABY monitor
Not a spy device
Unless you are deaf or hearing impaired
It is plain rediculous that you still use it. Are you a helicopter mum?

Selttan · 31/05/2022 04:31

What's the harm? It's not like you are spying on a teenager.

I don't think it's weird at all.

ChampagneLassie · 31/05/2022 04:46

I think it seems perfectly sensible, better safe than sorry and there is no harm in using. But what differnce does it make what I think or your friends/family. You do you. Why is it anyone else's business?