To have people comment I'm paranoid continuing to use 'baby' monitor

[Gemma273]

My wee one is nearly 3 and I still religiously use baby monitor every night, I don't think I'd settle without it, it's rarely needed as wakening up at night is very rare but I've had a few comments from family/friends that I'm being ridiculous and far too over protective. It's really annoyed me to be fair, any alone else still use their monitor for older kids?

We still use ours for our 3 year old, our rooms are on different floors so we wouldn’t hear her otherwise and she’s not yet get to the point where she’ll come and find us if she needs us. Would rather use it so I can settle her before she gets loud enough to wake up my eldest.

I’ll take the monitor it out of their room when my eldest (7) stops waking in the night and just calling for us increasingly loudly until they’re shouting and wake the youngest up before we hear them. They would never dream of actually getting out of bed and coming to find us.

Shock horror all children are different and you just do what works for you and then and people really have no business judging how other parents run their own homes.

Imagining you all have pretty huge houses that you don't hear dc from bed or the living room. I've never needed a monitor. Not sure it's anyone else's business though. I'd just not tell them tbh.

It sounds like it’s for you rather than for your DC which is fine. It’s not impacting on anyone at all. My friend had hers until her DS started school or even later, thought it was a bit overkill but never said anything. Did you ask for opinions or did family/friends just tell you randomly? Never used one myself, bought one and never took it out of the box so returned it but that said I’m all for them. I would ask what do you think you are going to miss if you stopped using it?

I've never used a monitor, but I can hear DD wherever I am in the house anyway!

Entirely up to you with a three year old. It's not like you're talking about a 13 year old - that would be weird. If it makes you sleep easier then what's the problem?

Used one until little one was 4 as bedrooms were on a different floor, also had a stair gate longer than most for the same reason.

I don’t have a monitor in my child’s room to eavesdrop on them playing, it goes on when they’re asleep so I can hear them in the night if they wake up. Isn’t that generally the point of them?

we have concrete walls and a shit sleeper, we have to dash in to settle her at night because otherwise she’ll wake herself up and then needs half an hour of settling to go back to sleep. But she’s 2.5yrs, definitely getting rid of it once she can get up and go to the loo/come find us herself.

We still use ours with a 3 year old. It's very useful - we can chat with him before we all have to get up in the morning, can see what's going on if he makes a noise in the night, and is also handy to have on if I'm busy and he's playing in his room during the day. Very useful, no intention of stopping using it any time soon. Also we've explained to him how it works, and he looks at it when he's chatting with us through it, so he knows what it does.

I guess we'll stop around five? Maybe a bit younger?

My kids are 3 and 6 and both still have their monitors. 6 year old likes it that he can talk to Mummy through it without either of us getting out of bed!

Use yours for as long as you like, who cares what other people think. Life would be boring if we were all the same.

My kids have literally never got out of bed to find us if something was wrong they just yelled really loudly until we came.
I had to tell my DD that if she was about to be sick, to get up and grab the bowl or run to the loo, don't always wait for me to come because I might not get there in time (Of course I would always come to comfort them and sort it out but if they could get to the bowl or toilet before that it was better!)

Monitors were a pita to use when my DCs were babies (cable trailing down the stairs, then having to take it upstairs and try not to get it all tangled up) so I gave up using the monitor after about 6 months. We used to just leave the bedroom doors ajar, so we could hear if the baby was crying.

You do you and sod what anyone else thinks!

I wish I had a house big enough that I wouldn’t hear my children if they woke.

Wow this does sound a faff! My mum always says she never used with with us, this explains why.

And? What’s the issue with that?

I don’t get it!

They are right, yabu. At 3 they are well able to call out to you or come into your room. But your kids your decision Just be careful not to be too suffocating as they get older.

We used my one until my DD was 3ish. It wasn’t intentional, it’s just that the baby end was set up and remained in place. By the time she was 2ish we didn’t use it regularly, the parent end would be shoved in a draw or forgotten to charge but we’d always get it out if she was unwell or whatever. It wasn’t a video one, just old fashioned sound.

We still used one in the evenings for DC1 at that age (when we were downstairs watching TV). And also if we were sleeping away from home and DC were in a room that's unfamiliar, not child proofed etc

Bet we've never routinely used the monitor all night. Once we've gone to bed we always hear them stir or they come find us.

*But

I don't know why anyone else would have an opinion really. I still use mine sometimes. The sooner I hear my children, the sooner I can settle them. If I take too long and they wake up fully, it's a longer process. I'm definitely not anxious or overly protective.

I didn't say the parents used the monitor for eavesdropping - in fact I literally said "I understand her parents were doing it to be protective." The point is, their kid woke up and was having a fun time in their bedroom thinking they were in a private space and not being watched/listened to. What was I supposed to do at that point, turn it off? The whole thing just felt weird.

Personally I'd be mortified to learn my parents had been watching me in my bedroom by the time I was able to play on my own (which was often after I'd been put down to sleep). I remember practicing conversations with the boy I fancied in primary school, for example - if my parents had been watching that...ehh I duno the whole thing just creeps me out.

I agree, @flower04958 it’s truly creepy

Would people who do this not be creeped by being listened to in their bedroom?

I don't see a problem. If it means you have an easy evening then so be it.