To think my husband is gravely ill at the wrong time? Thread 2

[MyOtherCarIsAPorsche]

Continuing from 1st thread.

That might be a t.i.a ( mini stroke ) he really should get that checked out .

Hello @MyOtherCarIsAPorsche . That is very worrying . It sounds like a type of transient ischaemic attack called amaurosis fugax usually caused by a problem with the carotid artery ( can either be a narrowed artery or a dissection) .

He needs urgent assessment. Should have a CT angiogram of aortic arch and carotid …. The carotid arteries are branches of the aortic arch.

ED please ….. xxxxx

Is he on antiplatelet tablets ( aspirin, clopigogrel, ticagrelor??)

Please please encourage him to go to a and e. That is a classic symptom of a TIA ( mini stroke ) which can then progress to a full blown stroke. With quick treatment this can be averted.

@olympicsrock

Oh bloody Norah - that's not good.

He's just on 75 dose of aspirin.

I've got a bad feeling. 😩

Tell him to take 2 tablets of aspirin 75 mg this morning instead of one. ( make sure with food) .
I think he needs to go to ED who will arrange a TIA rapid review and possibly ophalmology review to look for retinal artery embolus and also his cardiothoracic team. They will appreciate that these symptoms after surgery could represent carotid dissection.

ED not GP as they can request the CT he needs directly.
I’m going to send you a PM.

Ok I’m not winning with the PM … found the right area, put in your user name and is says user name not valid. 100 💯 right I copied it correctly. I wanted to send you my details so that you know I really am a Consultant Vascular Surgeon not a troll . Here is a pic of my GMC certificate with my name covered up! Not that I mind you knowing OP! Just the rest of the randoms on the Internet….

Unfortunately people have the right to endanger themselves (and cause much stress and anxiety for those who love and care for them…). If he is deemed to have capacity, then you can’t make him go to hospital.

i can’t stress how important it is to contact your own medical team directly. I was horrified yesterday to see that one of my patients who had a big carotid op 2 weeks ago went to the ward where he was post op as concerned about wound issues. They told him to call 111. Bonkers! He then went to ED who told him to contact his team the next working day ( 2 days later) The annoying thing is that we have an on call consultant 24/7 who would have happily seen him if someone had just picked up the phone.

Surgeons do want to know about ongoing issues as we know exactly what happened in theatre. The worst thing is to hear late when things have been mismanaged in the community.

Good morning @Fraaahnces !

Oh bugger shit fart trump!

He's refusing.

He's really upset me - said he would rather die than spend rest of his life going through what he's just been through.

He's got an appointment with an estate agent who is selling our houses - that's more important apparently.

said he would rather die than spend rest of his life going through what he's just been through

Oh OP that's so hard and maybe telling ? All the buying stuff ,going to London ,planning building works as a means to negate his ill health which he can't come to terms with .

I'm so sorry that he's in this mindset ,that's so tough for you both ,Apart from his physical issues he really needs to talk through all this with a professional .

I wish I had some helpful advice as to how to get through to him .Is there anyone who might be able to persuade him to go to A&E ? Son ?Colleague ? Can you appeal to his conscience? Tell him how cruel it is to you ? That if he thinks that ignoring signs like this might lead to a quick exit and his demise that it might hugely backfire by leaving him totally dependent because of a huge stroke ?

I'm sure the surgeon /medical team would like to be contacted but IME this just isn't possible .You might ,if v v v lucky manage to get through to a secretary but usually phones ring out or messages left on answer phones are not returned .

WTAF??? Were you included in this decision @MyOtherCarIsAPorsche? I’m really worried about you both. Seriously consider telling the agent that DH has had a suspected stroke and nothing signed ATM would legally hold water.
How the hell are you still going???

Yes - I really think that he's wanting to die.

He's liquidised most of our assets already.

We've talked many times about not wanting to live with chronic illness. What's happened since March is huge - he's probably thinking he's fighting a losing battle. Or, his family aren't worth fighting for. I'd have never had thought he would think like this because I would fight like a bloody wild cat to get another day with my family. It's like he's resigned to his fate - perhaps he 'knows he's fighting a losing battle'.

I can't physically do anything else. He wouldn't let me take him to hospital last night.

I'm sat trying to hide my tears from two bewildered little boys who have no idea that their grandfather is not bothered.

My throat feels closed.

Just one more thing - that'll be the last straw.

I have spoken to our GP. He rang me whilst I was on the school run. He's just rung to say he's spoken to my husband who is not being cooperative. The GP has said he'll go round before lunch and see what's what.

That's assuming my husband hasn't already left to meet this estate agent.

My husband rang me to tell me to stop bothering the doctors and that there's nothing wrong with him - apart from numbness in his left leg and left chest where he knows he had large blood clots after the surgery. He says it's just 'bits' breaking off and wandering around.

He needs better blood thinners he says.

My youngest grandson has just had his fifth 'episode' of the day. The helmet he wears doesn't protect his face - he's just fallen onto the corner of the table and cut his eyebrow which is above the previous mark on his cheek he did first thing.

OMG - just had a call from my son. He's been round to check his father and he's had another blind episode in same eye.

I’m so sorry to hear of the difficulties you are facing today.
« You can take a horse to water …etc ».
I hope he sees sense soon.

I think when people get to the stage where they are considering suicide - even passive suicide ,which appears to be your husbands approach - they are no longer able to be rational.

So he's not able to consider the effect on others if he dies or if he becomes seriously disabled by a stroke .

To put it bluntly , you husband seems to be on the road of making you a widow . I can't imagine how upsetting and frustrating it must be along with the needs of your grandson.

The thing is does he realise that he may go on living but become unable to use words correctly or move around unaided ?

Sorry to be blunt but wondering if expressing this might get through to him.

GP rang the local stroke unit.

He's on his way there - our son is taking him.

Oh OP, you really have it all going on. I hope things start to adjust for the positive soon.

Interesting that the GP was able to get some compliance from him .Thank heavens .

Oh thank god! I’ve been wondering if he had some kind of ABI to explain his erratic behaviour.

You haven't half been through the mill. I hadn't seen you previous thread but I am pleased people on here have been supportive.