@olympicsrock
He's a cross between the characters Basil Fawlty and Alf Garnet. He is chaotic. He commands attention in a group and what he has to say is cringeworthy. It's as if he's developed some sort of superiority complex - like he's fantastic at everything all of a sudden. But he isn't. He thinks what he has to say is riveting but it isn't.
I'm dreading his speech when our daughter gets married.
I feel that everything is out of control. I feel anxious all the time - I feel as though I'm shaking with nerves although I don't know if anybody can see me shaking. I'm anxious when he's at home and I'm anxious for different reasons when he's at the caravan.
I have absolutely no trouble falling to sleep because I'm exhausted all day - just can't stay asleep. I have never woken up refreshed. I seem to have to move position all the time to alleviate pain. Sometimes the pain is too much to bear lying down and I just give up and tend to spend between three and five hours in bed. My mattress is fairly new (got it the day before the first lockdown) it's a handmade Harrison Spinks bought especially for my back pain.
I'm waiting for a physio assessment for my back. It's difficult to hold myself upright some days. I get up and have a shower - I have to lean on the tiles to take pressure off my back. I go to make a hot drink and I'm leaning on the worktop to take the pressure. I was hanging out washing and having to sit every couple of minutes. Everything takes longer to do.
I have a podiatry appointment on Monday. I was referred after a physio appointment (at my GP surgery) for my back in January. I have arthritis in my big toes and I haven't put weight on the front half of my feet in 30 years. When I accidentally catch my big toes - the pain is excruciating. The left foot is much worse than the right foot. I walk heavily on my right side as a result. The physio said that my ankle, knee, hip and pelvis are affected because of the number of years I've been compensating for the pain in my feet. My walking pace has considerably lessened, my stride is much shorter and I feel like a shuffling old lady. I feel that when I'm walking with someone, I'm either in pain trying to match their pace or I feel that the other person is impatient at having to match my pace - both are uncomfortable.
I'm literally falling apart. Since I had a hysterectomy it's all gone pear shaped. I went to the GP last month because I was having fleeting chest pain/pressure with altered feelings/discomfort in my shoulder, arm (down to elbow), jaw and even up to the tip of my nose. I thought this was due to feeling anxious/worried/anticipating H's behaviour/moods, but the GP was concerned that it could be a touch of angina. So I'm waiting for further tests. But I think when a doctor hears my heart murmur they tend to err on the side of caution. So hopefully that will be ok. My daughter begged me to get this sorted out because she was thinking that I would keel over before her wedding, what with all the stress I've been under. All my family have been saying that I'm breathing heavily and I sound out of breath. When I answer my phone, people ask if I've been running - when I've probably just stood up and walked to where my phone is. I have been having dizzy spells - again I've put these down to feeling anxious. When I stand up I'm momentarily dizzy and stumble to one side. I've been fainting when I'm ironing - which can be dangerous as I've burned myself (and I've singed the carpet). I'm a walking disaster area. It's all come to a head since H was ill.
Nothing to report about grandson who has seizures. He's aware he's feeling 'funny' now before it happens and can move himself to a place where he feels safe. The last one he had was at nursery this week - it wasn't his key worker who witnessed it - it was another nursery worker who was quite scared about it at the time. She said that he'd been playing outside most of the morning and began to head inside when he started to limp, fell and then was staring into space - unresponsive. Afterwards, he limps for a while - his leg appears stiff. His genetic testing results aren't back yet. He's having an MRI on Monday under general anaesthesia. His sleep has gone from bad to worse - his mum is lucky to get a few hours rest in bed. Her two other children are constantly tired from being woken due to the screaming. He was causing mayhem in our usual shoe shop last Saturday, (they are used to us now and are very lovely and accommodating) I realised that it was suddenly calm and quiet and had visions of him having escaped from the shop. I shouted where's T***? The assistants and my daughter looked at me with pity/concern in their eyes - he was sat on my knee.
I'm going round the bliddy twist.