Who pisses you off right bloody now?

[Adventurine]

And say it here, if you can't to them. I know I am not being unreasonable and I also know that if I don't say this somewhere I will say it when I shouldn't and create problems.

So, Jenny. You're right. I do not take our dog for four walks a day. I take our dog for a 45 mins walk/romp of chasing balls and sticks and finding treats on the woodland trail. Because I literally do not have the time to factor in four fucking walks. DH walks the dog while I make dinner. You're not Queen Dog because you take your fucking hound out that much. You just have far more leisure time than I do, and that's because you've no young children and no need to work. AND a little trundle around the estate so you can chat to all the passers by isn't even the same sort of walk! You're just bored. Fuck you, Jenny. Also, no I do not hoover three times a day. Again, see leisure time and boredom. You've no need to gasp when you hear that I don't even do it every day. GTFO if it's not good enough for you!

Work colleagues. The way you lot talk to each other is shocking, I sit there grimacing at my screen when I hear you snap at each other like children. Get a grip.

Also, to one person in particular, stop chasing him. He likes someone else.

My sister-in-law. It's been a shitty time for me lately and you've been nothing but miserable for no (known) reason. If you have a problem with me, don't just say "I have a problem with you" then just walk off and not say anything, so that my anxiety goes through the roof wondering what I've done to you. Stop gas-lighting and just tell me how I could've possibly pissed you off. As you know, my dear mum passed away six weeks ago FFS and I'm struggling - not in the mood for your crappy mind games.

DDad - just stop bloody gambling and then taking it out on us all! We are not your verbal punchbags and I will continue to stand up to you until you realise that

Dear darling sister,

Please can you refrain from banging on about how you 'poor' you are and how 'fat' you are.

You earn four times what I do and probably weigh half what I do.

Love little sister

Ex husband. Pain in the arse who is reduced maintenance because he has the kids in a bit more due a medical emergency.

The extra days he had to mind them don't even come closed to the dayshe had cancel seeing the kids because he put his girlfriends first instead of his kids. I never ask for more maintenance. Stupid C**T

To my parents and ILs,

Just as a heads up, I know you can't be arsed with me, DH or our kids.

The £50k house extension and firm refusal to offer us a loan was a clue.

We will live in a two bed flat while you guys rattle around large houses.

It is good you have got money because you will need it to pay for care. DH and I are not available for the next 20/30 years.

Good luck with growing old with no family support.

To the group of little girls (average age is about 8) stop shrieking all the time. You are playing on a trampoline at the other end of the cul de sac not being murdered by an axe-man.

Nobody. Coincidentally I have a neighbour who seems to be training his dog to bark, and the kids next door are screaming on the trampoline. Nice to hear them having fun. I'm living a life better than most people have had through most of human history. I'm no Buddhist, but pretty chill with the universe.🙂

I hear you on the shitty manager then when I withdraw , he pretends to care and what to know how to help . Next time you pick on me , I will be reporting you 😡

No husband it’s not our communication error… it’s yours. I asked you three times… three times you didn’t actually give me an answer.

Dear BF ,

It is perfectly OKAY to sleep on your side of the bed without the need to breathe on my neck!! I am not going to disappear if you sleep without touching me !I I need a good night sleep to function
Rant over !

My brother and his wife.

How f**Ng dare my SIL sort out all my dead mother's personal belongings and remove them from the house without my permission and without me being present

You have robbed me of my time to say good bye. I love you sil and b, but right now also HATE you for being so f*ing selfish.

F you

And I don't want to see you for a VERY long time right now cos I'm fuming and hurt

Rick Stein: Please chew your f**ing food properly. What kind of chef or lover of food can you really be if you take one chew and swallow. Yes you need to give an opinion on what you've just eaten but us viewers can wait a few extra seconds whilst you eat properly.

What kind of flavour are you really extracting with your limited mastication? Not to mention how s**t it is for your digestive system - how has your stomach survived years of having to digestive whole lumps of meat? Just chew your food properly ffs.

Dear colleague- when I ask for something by a deadline please could you get it to me by then, or at least acknowledge you are aware it is late.
And please stop emailing me with things that (you think) are wrong 'because you thought I would like to know.' They wouldn't be any issue if your part of the job had been done on time, and we both know the email is a passive aggressive way of you telling me you're so much better at the job than me. You may be, but I'd respect you if you actually started working as a team member, rather than making my working life harder because you don't have the courtesy to get your work tasks done.
And please refrain from all the 'let's smash the patriarchy' stuff- it doesn't wash with me when you constantly undermine the efforts of your female colleagues, but not your male colleagues. Actions speak louder than words.
Thank you- that feels better!

Shoutout to my soon to be ex. I couldn't give a shiny shite how good your new girlfriend is in bed. I care not that she loves giving head and knows what a man wants. I also couldn't give a fiddlers flute that sex with me was "vanilla as fuck".

The fact that you have a penis that looks like a panic button and she has to suck that for the rest of her life gives me unbridled joy. Giddy up!

Dear BIL & SIL
MIL is 90, almost 91. She has Alzheimer's, CHF, can't walk and is at a stage where she needs 24/7 care.
It is neglectful that she is living alone in a 4 bedroom bungalow.
Yes she has carers and yes she has visitors however the time has come that she either goes into hospital or to a nursing home.
Who decided you get to call the shots?
So you made a promise to dec'd FIL that you would never put her in a home. Well times change. Back then MIL was able-bodied, driving and self sufficient.
She is wasting away and a danger to herself. I've looked after MIL for 5 years, gave up every single Sunday to clean shop etc for her. No more.

BIL you are retired and SIL works 3 days ow, DH and I work full time. We cannot do anymore for MIL. We will not be doing ANY overnights.

DH You are 60 years old and still at like the little brother man up, tell BIL that MIL needs 24/7 care.
It is in her best interest.

To the random little man I walked past today (& all those other random little men who are guilty of this at single females). You were quietly sorting out your car boot, until I, a single female out on a lunchtime walk (fully dressed plus loose fitting coat), decide to start whistling a tune. Stopped once I passed. Why do you do that ? Is it because you do not have the balls to shout sexist obscenities, so you all decide that a cheery whistle is what is required to try ensure I clock you as a total prick.

Always older 'gentleman' who do this, and always when I am on my own. Never get this from the local teenagers smoking weed.

Dh
Please stop asking me to repeat everything I say. Just listen the first fucking time!!!

Dsis
Stop making shitty comments. I don't say anything because I feel for you because you don't have a family but it really hurts.

Pils
Can you not just like me for who I am?

Go on your own. Perhaps suffering some consequences might give him the boot up he arse he needs.

He can probably organise more than you think, he's just got too comfortable with you doing everything.

My ex could be like this. EG, I used to get so sick of trying to talk with him about planning our DCs' birthdays, but he'd just wave me off and then ask "what are we doing for X's birthday" about 2 days before, after I'd done all the party organising and present buying.

Yes 'for an hour' while dh sorts everything!!