What is so striking about this thread is the huge class divide.
I grew up in a working class family, it was not unusual to be thrown out at 15/16 (for being 'rude' usually) and left to defend for yourself, most like op's dd moved out on their own at 17/18 and failed pretty spectacularly as no one taught us how to budget, cook, about the dangers of loans and credit cards. It was a really rough and sometimes frightening introduction to life. Higher education is seen as largely irrelevant at best, a waste of time and money. There is a deep rooted sense of why should a parent fund 'an adult'. As money is hard to come by, it becomes the root of most arguments and the battleground. It is deployed as a method of control. You will soon be hungry enough to bow down to this family, and scrape up some gratitude whilst you are down there.
To say this kind of girl starts life with everything stacked against her is an absolute understatement. She can be dragged into equally damaging and controlling relationships, find herself pregnant at a young age (no guidance whatsoever on contraception beyond the cursory school mandate) and pregnancy has its perks, at least that way she doesn't end up homeless. They are the same girls that are exploited for sex, drug trafficking and worse. They are too young, too vulnerable to be out in the world full of predators without their parents support, and are sometimes very quickly taken advantage of due to the naivety and lack of experience that is normal in this age group. We always see the posts claiming that pp managed at 16 on their own wit, but there is always always a sacrifice, many sacrifices, a loss of education and opportunity, the loss of time to grow up, to be carefree. The losses are amassing but as long as you didn't starve that counts for success - and it really does.
I looked on at the middle class kids with their loving parents, their way being smoothed by love, support and generosity. They are carefully nurtured and expected to do well and go to university, to be financially supported without a hint of 'having to pay back your dues' until their early twenties.
They don't have to worry where the next tampon is coming from, or whether their shoes are falling off their feet.
The kind of bubble of love that I could only dream about. I was green with envy at their life, not for the material goods it offered, but for the unconditional support and love that was given without question. No sense of being cut off/set adrift for your 'own good'. Of course MC teens are just as rude and difficult as WC teens but the MC parents see it as par of the course, WC parents always see it as 'disrespect' and react with real anger sometimes. There are many many WC families that will offer their children the same support and love of course, and many MC that let their children down. But this difference in values and mindset, the striking difference between every post could not go unmentioned. The 'she made her bed' posts versus the 'she is just a child' ones are equally impassioned and equally polar opposite in their views.
Op is in the 'she made her bed' camp, and I doubt she will ever believe that she should be fully supporting her child until she leaves full time education, why should she? She is 18 now and on her own. It starts and ends with that deep rooted mindset. That is why a meal and tampons become a privilege, and it is also the source of outrage from her daughter. Why can't she have parents that actually look after and care about her like other children....and so it goes on for another generation.