Page 13 | To think holidays with kids are SHIT

Holibollocks · 2022-05-28T14:46:23+00:00

Caveat: I know we are really really lucky to be able to afford to go on holiday. But. WTAF??! Why is this so shit?!! Kids are 4 and 8 and this is the first 'big' holiday we've been on. Previously it's always been camping or self catering-didn't go away at all during covid and I'm a nurse so we felt like it was worth splashing out a bit for a half term break and we've gone for an all inclusive thing. Anyway, we're 2 days in and to be honest it would be easier being at work. Every single tiny little thing they have whinged and moaned and complained and then when I thought they couldn't complain anymore they've somehow managed it. Constant fucking requests that go beyond anything I've experienced with them at home...followed by more whinging. So far it's shit. Expensive shit. What am I doing wrong?? What is the secret to making this a great holiday?

catscatscatseverywhere · 30/05/2022 09:46

I am adult now and I love my parents and appreciate all their efforts, but one thing I regret the most is that we never went on a vacation as a family, because we couldn't afford it. 2-3 day trips where we stayed with family is maximum we had, but actually never went away together. I don't know why, but I am feeling bit resentful reading how shit your holidays with kids are. Btw. kids who have everything moan constantly. This thread is so petty, that I won't even return here.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2022 09:53

catscatscatseverywhere · 30/05/2022 09:46

I am adult now and I love my parents and appreciate all their efforts, but one thing I regret the most is that we never went on a vacation as a family, because we couldn't afford it. 2-3 day trips where we stayed with family is maximum we had, but actually never went away together. I don't know why, but I am feeling bit resentful reading how shit your holidays with kids are. Btw. kids who have everything moan constantly. This thread is so petty, that I won't even return here.

Bye 👋

Benjispruce4 · 30/05/2022 10:06

@catscatscatseverywhere thats a sad post. I agree with your sentiment in part as I work with primary children and recognise what you say.
I had to separate two boys aged 6 who were coming to blows over who had been to Center Parcs the most!

Youcansaythatagainandagain · 30/05/2022 10:22

LuckySantangelo35

Who said anything about drinking at the pool?

My kids prefer to spend time doing child orientated activities with other children to being coaxed around cobbled streets and sightseeing.

FWIW I rarely drink other than a glass of wine when eating in a restaurant which is a rare enough event in itself.

Ogham · 30/05/2022 10:27

Haven’t read the full thread but as someone once said to me - you’re only as happy as your most miserable child - never a truer statement!
We had a couple of really tough times on holidays due to the moods of most miserable child. It was a difficult Pill to swallow as we hadn’t much money and we were trying to do our best by them.
I learned to focus on the nice moments and I definitely snuck off a few times to be on my own.

speakout · 30/05/2022 10:50

Haven’t read the full thread but as someone once said to me - you’re only as happy as your most miserable child - never a truer statement!

I coudn't disagree more.

Tothepoint99 · 30/05/2022 10:53

Holibollocks · 28/05/2022 16:05

👌🏻 good for you

Show quote history

I know right! 🙄

Youcansaythatagainandagain · 30/05/2022 11:19

Ogham · 30/05/2022 10:27

Haven’t read the full thread but as someone once said to me - you’re only as happy as your most miserable child - never a truer statement!
We had a couple of really tough times on holidays due to the moods of most miserable child. It was a difficult Pill to swallow as we hadn’t much money and we were trying to do our best by them.
I learned to focus on the nice moments and I definitely snuck off a few times to be on my own.

That’s a very wise statement.

True for all aspects of life, not just holidays.I am currently worrying about one DC who has a medical condition and is at school when I’d have preferred them to stay at home today so I could keep an eye on them. For the last few weeks DC has been bullied and I spent my time worrying about that.

It’s all consuming being a parent and esp so when a child isn’t happy.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2022 11:20

Youcansaythatagainandagain · 30/05/2022 10:22

LuckySantangelo35

Who said anything about drinking at the pool?

My kids prefer to spend time doing child orientated activities with other children to being coaxed around cobbled streets and sightseeing.

FWIW I rarely drink other than a glass of wine when eating in a restaurant which is a rare enough event in itself.

@Youcansaythatagainandagain

im not sure which post or posts you are referring to??

but I can say that I would never ever criticise anyone for drinking around the pool! You’re on holiday, ffs! 😊🍹 🍺 🥤

Somethingneedstochange · 30/05/2022 11:22

You don't think it now but I miss those days of my kids being that young. They never moaned though they just enjoyed wherever I took them. Usually butlins or a caravan holiday once to euro Disney. Only did one to Spain they were older by then 10 and 13. But we only went half board as we were out every other day doing something. The other days we hung around the pool. Kids club or baby sitters was never an option because of they're disabilities.

Liveliferun · 30/05/2022 13:14

@Definitelyrandom are you always this judgemental about kods clubs? Do you also disagree with working parents? 😂 Luckily I am fairly thick skinned. Yes I work full time and I LOVE - I really do love - having time away from my kids on holiday as well.. My kids are learning to sail, kayak etc for 3 hours each morning and I’m doing an RYA watersports course. I have no desire to spend every hour of every day with my kids, nor do they with me I should hope. Being with their peers is way more fun. When I was their age I barely saw my parents on holiday - we would have been on the beach for the day and only home for meals. It is a recent phenomenon that parents feel the need to be involved in every aspect of their kids’ lives, whereas I prefer to give them confidence and independence to not need me apart from when they do actually need me. I don’t drink but I like your dig about kids clubs being a pathway drug to Ibiza boozy holidays. It’s certainly a stretch….
Kids grow up so fast, we (parents) need to not lose ourselves in the meantime. I guess I see myself as a person first and a parent second. I
hope that’s how my kids see me too.

Coffeepants · 30/05/2022 13:27

But you’re not spending every hour of every day with your kids especially if you work full time (I do too, it’s not a dig just an observation). I look forward to holidays with my children to have that quality time together as usual work/school days are pretty busy for us. I also love watching them experience things for the first time, chatting to them about things we have seen and done and generally making memories. If I want a holiday without children then I would rather not drag them along and shove them in another form of childcare.

Ahurricaneofjacarandas · 30/05/2022 13:40

Coffeepants · 30/05/2022 13:27

But you’re not spending every hour of every day with your kids especially if you work full time (I do too, it’s not a dig just an observation). I look forward to holidays with my children to have that quality time together as usual work/school days are pretty busy for us. I also love watching them experience things for the first time, chatting to them about things we have seen and done and generally making memories. If I want a holiday without children then I would rather not drag them along and shove them in another form of childcare.

Oh FFS. It's not like it's all day it's for a couple of hours. I agree that quality time and making memories as a family is very important but it's also very beneficial in so many ways for your kid to be independent to. It's empowering and overall good for their self esteem to know that they can do it. Kid's club is a safe way to do this. You do have to get the balance as a parent.

Mine has never been in a kid's club yet as she's only 4 but we have had to push her a bit into going to her dance lessons, for example, by herself. Yes it was a bit hard for her at first. Yes she spent most of the first few weeks sulking in the corner. Yes she got lots of cuddles and reaasurance from me. No she didn't get to quit or have me in there mollycoddling her. Yes she still knows I'm there for her and support her 100%. Yes she's now much more self-confident and happily skips into her dance lessons and is learning to navigate a difficult social situation independently whilst learning a new skill in the process. It's all about balance.

Liveliferun · 30/05/2022 13:56

“Shove them into childcare”…quite a telling choice of verb there. you’re unlucky with your childcare if any shoving is required TBH…I have to run after mine to spray them with sunscreen as they can’t wait to go.

i think we can all agree to differ - I don’t want to spend as much time (I.e. 24x7) with my children as many of you do with yours. Everyone to their own - no judgement. Ultimately everyone finds a way to enjoy their holiday in a way that suits them and their family.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2022 14:07

Liveliferun · 30/05/2022 13:56

“Shove them into childcare”…quite a telling choice of verb there. you’re unlucky with your childcare if any shoving is required TBH…I have to run after mine to spray them with sunscreen as they can’t wait to go.

i think we can all agree to differ - I don’t want to spend as much time (I.e. 24x7) with my children as many of you do with yours. Everyone to their own - no judgement. Ultimately everyone finds a way to enjoy their holiday in a way that suits them and their family.

You’re not alone at all.

I don’t want or need to spend 24/7 with my children either.

I wanna do things like drink round the pool and sunbathe. Most kids would find that boring. So off to kids club they go. It’s my holiday too. I should get to do what I want to do as well as what the kids want to do.

Is there anyone who really genuinely finds that selfish? If so, why??

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2022 14:20

Liveliferun · 30/05/2022 13:14

@Definitelyrandom are you always this judgemental about kods clubs? Do you also disagree with working parents? 😂 Luckily I am fairly thick skinned. Yes I work full time and I LOVE - I really do love - having time away from my kids on holiday as well.. My kids are learning to sail, kayak etc for 3 hours each morning and I’m doing an RYA watersports course. I have no desire to spend every hour of every day with my kids, nor do they with me I should hope. Being with their peers is way more fun. When I was their age I barely saw my parents on holiday - we would have been on the beach for the day and only home for meals. It is a recent phenomenon that parents feel the need to be involved in every aspect of their kids’ lives, whereas I prefer to give them confidence and independence to not need me apart from when they do actually need me. I don’t drink but I like your dig about kids clubs being a pathway drug to Ibiza boozy holidays. It’s certainly a stretch….
Kids grow up so fast, we (parents) need to not lose ourselves in the meantime. I guess I see myself as a person first and a parent second. I
hope that’s how my kids see me too.

@Liveliferun

lol where do they say kids clubs lead to Ibiza??!

LittleBearPad · 30/05/2022 15:04

I’m sorry OP. The bickering and whingeing sounds very wearing and probably needs stamping on. If they can’t press the button to the lift without complaining then you do it. Don’t leave the pool within 10 minutes of arriving. Tell them that’s what this morning’s plan is and you’ll do something different in the afternoon.

LittleBearPad · 30/05/2022 15:04

There’s a lot of rose tinted glasses on this thread too

Liveliferun · 30/05/2022 16:14

LuckySantangelo35 It was Definitelyrandom not you that I was paraphrasing …as per my post where I began @ Definitelyrandom

“But then when they became adults they and their friends weren't the types to go off to the likes of Ibiza or Zante for drunken binges. Not that there's necessarily a correlation.”

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2022 16:41

Liveliferun · 30/05/2022 16:14

LuckySantangelo35 It was Definitelyrandom not you that I was paraphrasing …as per my post where I began @ Definitelyrandom

“But then when they became adults they and their friends weren't the types to go off to the likes of Ibiza or Zante for drunken binges. Not that there's necessarily a correlation.”

Wow!!

@Definitelyrandom

what’s wrong with that kind of holiday when you’re young? I did it. My husband did it. Most of my friends did it. And we have all turned out ok.

you sound very snobby

Delatron · 30/05/2022 16:51

Yes there’s a lot of snobby shit on here

’My perfect kids never moaned whilst we did our culture trips to museums and art galleries spending every single second together - what fun. And look how well they’ve turned out - they wouldn’t dream of a drunken holiday in Ibiza’

Good for you love.

Kids spending a few hours in a club, willingly, learning how to water ski, surf, make friends apparently = parents drunk round the pool and they’ll end up sozzled in Ibiza by the age of 18..

For those who can’t bear to spend a second away from their precious children when on holiday. What do you do if they’re having a siesta for a few hours? Wake them up for some cultured conversation? Gaze at them whilst they sleep? How is a few hours asleep different to a kids club? You’re still apart from your precious children. Not spending every hour together...

Definitelyrandom · 30/05/2022 17:11

@LuckySantangelo35

To be fair, it is a bit pathetic if you need to get blinding drunk at any age to enjoy a holiday (and I'm certainly not a "one small sherry at Christmas and I'm tipsy" person). And these are the sort of people who go on to have drunken stag and hen dos and embarrass themselves in lovely cities like Dublin, Budapest and Prague. Otherwise I'm all for drunken young idiots going to a limited number of places which I can avoid. Then getting older and going on poolside/resort/upmarket Butlins holidays which I can also avoid. Not "snobby". There are many, many people who are much richer and/or posher than I am who do these things. Just different life choices.

saraclara · 30/05/2022 17:13

Why are we only allowed to say that we hate/hated holidays with our kids? Why is anyone who says that they love/d them being shot down? This is aibu. We're allowed to disagree with the OP. That's the whole premise of the branch.

No rose coloured specs here. We're a family who lived for holidays and travel. My late dh and I were lucky. We had kids who were easy to travel with and who (hopefully by our example) were as happy to be away and as interested in new places as we were. And even as adults, my DDs enjoy the occasional family trip with me.

Families are different. Kids are different. We all enjoy different things, and we find different things challenging. I'm all for people doing what they enjoy, whether or not it's what I like to do. I'm not going to put them down for it, or claim that they're lying, just because those things don't work for me.

Fairislefandango · 30/05/2022 17:16

Wow - defensive, chippy response.
I'm not snobby. I just do the same kind of holidays that are familiar to me from when I was a kid. Never been to or used a kids' club etc. Family holidays involved beaches, walks, bit of culture. Together. Of course I 'can bear to be apart from my precious kids', especially now they are teens and more independent. But we don't tend to do things apart when we're on holiday. I just don't recognise the 'Oh god, kids are a nightmare on holiday. Stick them in the kids' club to get a break.' thing. We all get time to ourselves hanging around reading or chilling out at the campsite/house/whatever. It's not an attempt to be morally superior - it's just how holidays are for us.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2022 17:22

Definitelyrandom · 30/05/2022 17:11

@LuckySantangelo35

To be fair, it is a bit pathetic if you need to get blinding drunk at any age to enjoy a holiday (and I'm certainly not a "one small sherry at Christmas and I'm tipsy" person). And these are the sort of people who go on to have drunken stag and hen dos and embarrass themselves in lovely cities like Dublin, Budapest and Prague. Otherwise I'm all for drunken young idiots going to a limited number of places which I can avoid. Then getting older and going on poolside/resort/upmarket Butlins holidays which I can also avoid. Not "snobby". There are many, many people who are much richer and/or posher than I am who do these things. Just different life choices.

@Definitelyrandom

who said anything about getting blinding drunk?? Cos I didn’t!