To think holidays with kids are SHIT

[Holibollocks]

Caveat: I know we are really really lucky to be able to afford to go on holiday.

But. WTAF??! Why is this so shit?!! Kids are 4 and 8 and this is the first 'big' holiday we've been on. Previously it's always been camping or self catering-didn't go away at all during covid and I'm a nurse so we felt like it was worth splashing out a bit for a half term break and we've gone for an all inclusive thing.

Anyway, we're 2 days in and to be honest it would be easier being at work. Every single tiny little thing they have whinged and moaned and complained and then when I thought they couldn't complain anymore they've somehow managed it. Constant fucking requests that go beyond anything I've experienced with them at home...followed by more whinging. So far it's shit. Expensive shit.

What am I doing wrong?? What is the secret to making this a great holiday?

Well if daytime shinnanigins is a priority, you’d book accommodation that has separate bedrooms . If we went away for a weekend and stayed in say a Premier Inn family room, I wouldn’t expect to be having sex.

Night time rather!

Not sure if this is to do with only having the one child but mine wouldn't behave that way, it's ungrateful, she'd be told off. She knows this and appreciates holidays. She's 7.
I'm thinking this must become less plausible when you have two?

@youdroppedthis

i dunno, I think you can still tell them off. It’s unacceptable behaviour so they should be.

This is lovely. Really lovely, I hope my mum feels the same about our holidays as kids.
my kids have travelled since they were roughly 3 weeks old and I have four, I LOVE taking them to places they’ve never been and finding something amazing in every corner, we love Italy and did the whole 6 weeks (plus an extra 5 weeks when our camper conked) on a campsite 20 metres from the beach, they swam ever morning even into October. We stayed in lorry parks and service stations all the way down and every night they made it a game to see if they’d let us in the truckers lounge for a shower.
equally they rave about camping for two weeks in the Peak District in a leaky tent in April, freezing every morning and hot water bottles for bed boiled on a camp fire. Let go of your expectations and just enjoy BEING with your children and the joy they do find in the little things.

We travelled to so many countries when the children were young and if I could do it all again I would. We would ask the children to choose something they wanted to do and then centre a lot of the holiday around that. One year we went to Paris and my youngest son wanted to go up all the tallest buildings in the city so we went up the Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomph, skyscrapers etc. it meant we got to sightsee around Paris and he ticked off his tallest buildings bucket list. When they were little at the beach we would do a morning together all focusing on beach activities, a couple of hours in a kids club and then often take turns when either my husband or I would have the kids for an hour or two while the other relaxed. It will be fine and you will miss those days eventually.

My kids always ask why we don't go on holiday. My standard response has become because it's cheaper to argue with you and put up with the complaining at home. 🙄

I'm a lone parent on a budget so no kids clubs or husband who takes them off my hands but I will say I've been on countless holidays with dc (sometimes several a year when mine were the age of yours and younger) and I've never had a shit one. Don't stress the small stuff. I think my secret is doing stuff we all want to do not just child or adult centred things. Nice restaurant but with a play area for example.

You should ignore them as if they weren’t there. Ungrateful brats.

Benjispruce, not sure premier Inn are at those kind of resorts that have kids clubs?

I do think we place so much emphasis on holidays being perfect that it feels a massive let down when it’s not. Also not doubting anything you have done but do the kids no what’s expected from them. Right now they are in a strange environment with different people, nothing that feels familiar it could be that they are overwhelmed and the behaviour is from that. Also the excitement of the holiday is actually too much for children to handle.
maybe look at the kids club but also make sure you give strict boundaries. At home you probably wouldn’t have to any of this but as I mentioned new places can really overwhelm children. Just tell them what’s expected of them, ie said
“we are going to beach so make sure you bring towels sand bucket and spades but also maybe grab a book or something if you get fed up to occupy yourself. Dad and I are looking at resting for at least 30 minutes sunbathing. We have been working hard through the last few years and this holiday whilst we want you to have loads of fun is also time for us to rest.”

even young children can be pre warned and although it may seem annoying it does really help calm children because that way they know what’s expected from them. Also if they ignore this etc they cannot say they wasn’t told.

really hope you enjoy your holiday you definitely deserve after the last couple of years.

Nah, kids can be right twats. Hope your holiday improves, you deserve it.

Why are you putting them in charge? That's your first mistake

You definitely need to find things to keep children entertained, but our 2 were no more whingey on holiday than they were at home - very rare.
We've done camping, festivals, holiday parks, cottages & they've genuinely loved it all.
It helps if there's extended family with you, as you can take it in turns to go paddling / swimming with them.

Don’t agree you should centre holiday around kids or your whole life for that matter. Unless you can afford to holiday without them as well each year. They should fit into your plans. We used to plan the holiday so everyone did one special thing they wanted during the week, the rest of the time it was a family vote what we did every day. Parents took turns to enjoy a morning with the children whilst other half had the morning to themselves. Also, last night was always eating out somewhere nice so the children grow up learning how to behave in a restaurant. Keeping busy, lots of fresh air. Sometimes just chilling.

You mentioned that you hadn’t been away since Covid OP- could that be the problem? That’s a decent proportion of your kids lives and suddenly going away from home might have freaked them out a bit/over stimulated them - hence the constant changing of minds/checking the schedule? Hopefully they’ll get into the swing and will be a bit more restful and you can all enjoy it!

We haven't taken the youngest on holiday yet due to covid but have had several with the older one. It's obvs very different than past ones when it was just us but we have always had a nice time (1st one was prob the most draining when she was 20 months as she was q temperamental). I think I have been q lucky in that my other half would spend a lot of time in the water with her so I did have chance to read my book which is my thing! We have never done that much, maybe the odd trip on the bus, mainly by the pool and then evening entertainment.

im off on hols tomorrow with my husband and kids, this thread has bought some holiday memories back. They always drive me nuts because they want to laze about and I want to get up go to the beach, go sightseeing etc. A timely reminder to go with the flow.

Not sure if this is to do with only having the one child but mine wouldn't behave that way, it's ungrateful, she'd be told off. She knows this and appreciates holidays. She's 7.

Wait until she's a teen. You won't make them grateful. They "behave", just sulk all the time - your fault that you pulled them away from their mates and videogames.

Mike's 13 this year and yet to experience this. Loves an adventure and holiday as much as I do. Obviously brigs her phone with her but happy away from it

So true! It's almost as if they're young kids, are exhausted, overstimulated, have basically had their entire worlds and routines shaken up and have little to no idea when things are going to go back to normal and have basically no real understanding of money or privledge.... They're obviously just ungrateful brats who are ruining their parent's holiday for the fun of it..m

My kids are adult now, but we found holidays difficult with four children, particularly if they involved an airport. We stopped going abroad when the last one was a baby.
Self catering really is easiest, but you need to have something to do locally: beach, pool, big playground and so on. But most of all you need good weather - if it's wet you're better off at home. I'm surprised more people haven't cottoned onto the staycation thing before.
Of course, if you can afford to throw money at the problem you can go to some wonderful hotel that specialises in amazing times for children - but often they're long haul and obviously still involve impossible delays at the airport and long flights.

And the prize for least helpful comment is headed your way.

Just come back from a week abroad with our 3 year old and it was class. Maybe just having one with no siblings to argue with is much easier! It was just one big adventure (with an unexpected daily afternoon nap for bonus chill time!)

However, judging by the amount of parents we saw drinking by the pool I presume how you feel is not unusual!

@FlowerArranger - sorry you’ve been dismissed on this thread. My experience was similar- holidays were about doing stuff together and we have family memories to treasure forever.

We mostly did Eurocamp though, and sometimes with another family, so perhaps that’s the difference. Slow pace, with friends.