To think holidays with kids are SHIT

[Holibollocks]

Caveat: I know we are really really lucky to be able to afford to go on holiday.

But. WTAF??! Why is this so shit?!! Kids are 4 and 8 and this is the first 'big' holiday we've been on. Previously it's always been camping or self catering-didn't go away at all during covid and I'm a nurse so we felt like it was worth splashing out a bit for a half term break and we've gone for an all inclusive thing.

Anyway, we're 2 days in and to be honest it would be easier being at work. Every single tiny little thing they have whinged and moaned and complained and then when I thought they couldn't complain anymore they've somehow managed it. Constant fucking requests that go beyond anything I've experienced with them at home...followed by more whinging. So far it's shit. Expensive shit.

What am I doing wrong?? What is the secret to making this a great holiday?

For me at that age was going on holiday with my sisters and their families. Cousins would play together and adults would have a few moments not having to entertain them. Everybody happy. Otherwise holidays can actually be worse than staying at home. Off course only works if you get on with your family

Your kids... Get over yourself!

We are away now all incisive and honestly it’s the same as home without the washing ironing, cooking and cleaning 😂😂 joking! We are loving been away but same as you, arguing over the door opening, who has the biggest drink, who splashed the biggest🤯.

kids Club has been fab! 10.30-12 and 3.30-5.30 ours are 5&7 and have gone on an afternoon. we’ve have then had an hour sun bathing and then sat and had a drink in peace 🙌🏻

I did the kids clubs and split time with my husband but also travelled with the two children on my own when my husband was working. Still loved it and wish I could have it all back. I even did long haul flights with them on my own when they were toddlers. They just learn how to behave if they have to.

I am sorry to say that I agree. I hated holidays with kids. They never wanted to do anything, were unadventurous, complained all the time and were always bored and tired and wanted to go back to the hotel.
We must have brought them up badly, should have bullied and ordered them around, but that would have been fun for no-one.

me too....three kids...first time we went abroad they were 3, 4 and 5 and we went to Eurocamp. Kids club....took them out every night with us to restaurants and 'our time' was the couple of hours at the kids club and then after 9 when they went to bed! but we had a great time. Im a nurse as well....maybe I had low expectations, but we all enjoyed our holidays.

Bedtimes are awful with our Dc. So now they’re not teeny tiny we just accept that it’s less stressful to enjoy a relaxing evening while they’re still up and playing a games, watching something or whatever, then we all go to bed at about the same time. They sleep in a bit in the morning then. With ours it just doesn’t work trying to get them off to sleep earlier in the evening especially when it’s so light

You must have had perfect kids and the perfect life!!

mine certainly weren’t like that.

Omg, this brings back so many memories!!!

thank god my kids are much older now. Over all, we didn’t go on any big holidays until they were much older (couldn’t face it). Just getting through each day was bad enough.

I feel your pain. We have four aged 11, 11 8 and 5. The 8 and 5 year old are ALWAYS at each other’s throats over something and nothing. Not really old enough to understand being grateful that we can afford to do holidays like the two 11 year olds are. BUT my one trick that really seems to work is separating them. For us it’s always cheaper to get 2 rooms as we are a large family so the 2 boys 11 & 5 go in with DH and the 2 girls 11 & 8 come in with me. It gives them a bit of respite from each other and means me and dh have one hard one and one easy one each in the evenings (I know that’s mean but it’s true, they won’t be young forever) we also split up during the day sometimes too, me and the girls will go to the spa, or to get our hair braided or nails done or even just for a walk while the boys do something a little more energetic. It really does help. Why not try doing something special with each one separately and see if it’s a little more enjoyable and then like others have said, kids clubs and a decently timed bed time and you can chill on the balcony or read a nice book etc. Hope this helps and hope you manage to enjoy it a little as I think we all deserve it after the last few years x

Son with SN here. We found it easier when the DCs were young to do all inclusive. It took my DS at least 2 days to acclimatise. After that DH would take him on long walks each day to buy popcorn (there are Lidls in most European countries) Then DD, and I would share time amusing him. Mostly it fell on me. In my experience it is striking a balance. After the first horrible couple of days where everything is a battle... We learned to book holidays which had something for everyone. Spas for DD and I, interesting flora and fauna for DH, good internet for DS!!. Stick with the first couple of awful days and I am pretty sure the rest of the trip will be great and your DCs will remember it as the best holiday EVER (to quote my DS). Talking to my DCs they remember every trip we have taken with joy and do not remember the bad bits.

You’re the adult here, right? They are children. Children have a tendency to whinge at times because they are children, and to try it on in order to hopefully get their own way. (I bet you did exactly the same with your parents), but your role as the parent is to teach your children that sometimes life isn’t as they’d wish it to be! So, hard though it might be, lay down the law, say “no” - tell them that such and such will happen, but other things won’t, no matter how much they might protest - remember who is in charge - you, the adult!!! Do not give in for the “quiet life” - it’ll be far from it!

Are they just feeling a bit insecure? One of ours used to do all the above- it was just panic about the change of routine/place.

Regular eating proved to be essential.

Getting 'points' at bedtime for all the brave (non-whinge) moments of the day.

Us understanding that he was worried rather than being annoying on purpose. We had to treat him as a bit younger than usual.

In the minority here but I can’t understand why people are so miserable spending time with their own children on holiday. Obviously adjust your expectations but if you expect to dump them at kids club so you can drink at the pool, why take them on holiday at all? Have travelled with mine since they were 6 months old and for the most part, it’s been good. Slower days, lots of snacks and being prepared helps.

We always enforced a siesta/afternoon nap on holidays. If they didn’t want to sleep they had quiet time. Sanity saver.

You are being very unreasonable ! 1 you have kids 2 you can afford an expensive holiday I fully expect to be jumped on I don't care I won't be returning this thread !

We would stay in a nice pub, feed the kids an early tea and use the baby monitor, which had a video screen, so we could have a ‘night out’ in the pub. Our next abroad holiday might include in-laws or we might go with friends who have similar aged kids. We’ve not been abroad for years but we found that tag teaming worked well. I hated kids club as a child. I remember my mum constantly asking me if I wanted to go. Now I understand why!

I'd be sticking the kids in the kids club in the morning to burn all their energy off.

Then have lunch. Back to room to chill/ siesta. Maybe an hour on the beach because its cooler.

Back to room. Shower. Dinner. Kids should be bedded down by 8pm I'd say. You have cocktails on the balcony.

LOL. I feel you. Me and Ex DH used to view these holidays completely differently. So I do think it mainly has to do with expectations. He always came back relaxed... and I came back wishing I could go on holiday on my own...

I found it all quite stressful (I worked FT and DH was a SAHD (worked PT) he stopped being the 'parent' and my 'work' - looking after and giving the kids extra attention - started the moment I started packing the suitcases. I can truly say I have never experienced any holiday as relaxing until I went with a friend after the kids had left home!
What I will say is that looking back at the photos - I can remember we had quite a lot of fun too (between the whinging etc)
Couple of shit things I remember though:
ExH used to think it was fun for all of us to go to a foreign supermarket as a treat...
I used to have awful eczema on my hands which was aggravated when I put suntan lotion on the kids.
Both kids were bad sleepers any way - so always stayed up in the evenings with us - so we never had any down time together.
ExH was very health conscious (particularly diet wise) so we never ate cheese and wine for fun in the evening etc... (and its so much less fun on your own lol)
The kids have good memories though... ;)

you are right : Its fekkin hard work - especially with a 4 & 8 year old.
Just chill as much as you can. Don't let stupid shit stress you out.. and breathe... X

If my dc were in bed at 8 at that age they'd be up by 5 am. No thanks! In the evenings you'd find me somewhere child friendly with a play area, mini amusement park or some sort of show or entertainment letting them run and dance til they dropped. 4 and 8 are great ages for this, mine have a similar age gap too.

ExH used to think it was fun for all of us to go to a foreign supermarket as a treat...

Fwiw I have a fun memory of a foreign supermarket from every trip I remember as a child. There are frequently excited posts on mumsnet saying I'm in France - what should I buy at the supermarket? Sorry I'm with him on that one 😆.

Need to plan a better type of holiday! Stubborn Mule Travel, it's amazing for families, no complaints or whinging at all!!

I recommend looking at adults only hotels that accept babies and toddlers

Odd concept. How can it be 'adults only' if it accepts babies and toddlers? Even babies who can't walk yet can be noisy and disruptive with crying, let alone toddlers running about and having tantrums.

@liveforsummer haha ok - fair point about foreign supermarkets lol

@Coffeepants

erm have you read how OP’s kids are behaving??

What is enjoyable about that? Who would enjoy spending time with them when they are behaving like that?

some people really like to locate the fault within adults and see children as being able to do no wrong don’t they