Postnatal Ward Hell!

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AIBU to ask if the postnatal word is actually the 7th circle of hell?

On a ward with 4 others. One has been scrolling through songs on their phone for the last two hours only listening to the first 5 seconds of each one. One couple have bought a tv pass and have the One Show on full volume, they are then making video calls over the top of the TV and rowing about why their newborn won't settle (because the poor thing is thinking wtf is all this shouting?). The poor midwives are so understaffed everything is running late, including everyone's painkillers which were due an hour and a half ago. I've had a c section and I'm absolutely boiling and for some reason the heating is on!

Maybe I'm just a grumpy old woman but I'm starting to lose my mind here! Why can't people just be quiet!

Post natal wards never seem to be well staffed. Glad they moved u to a quieter place to recovery from your surgery OP. Make sure your pain relief is reviewed before u leave (if you are still in hospital, otherwise with your OP). Do u have much support at home?

*GP

YANBU

Post natal are indeed a new level of fresh hell straight after you've given birth!

Your description sounds just like mine after baby number 1, had a CS, was in a bay with 3 other women

Second time round I was switched on enough to request a private room when I arrived early morning for my elective CS- a completely different & fabulous experience by comparison!

Congratulations OP I hope that you are back home by now

I had both mine via C section and was put on the main ward afterwards. Similar situation to you, it was horrendous! We were dependent on OHs and friends to bring us in food as we had to leave our babies for meals- mostly consisting of chips and cheese sandwiches- in a nearby room. I stayed in for two days after in each case. Fortunately, I laugh about it now but it was tremendously stressful at the time.

I was in a two bedded room. The young girl packing up to go home was a total sweetheart. My newborn was a frequent feeder and I got very little sleep. Another young mum was admitted and talked incessantly; how many prams she had bought, didn’t know whether to call the baby Diago or Tam !!! She slept through her baby crying, which was frequently. The nurses passed by often and saw that I was feeding … again while Tam/ Diago was screaming his wee lungs out. They woke her up to feed him. I started to doze off when she came over , woke me up and asked if I would feed her baby as she was tired aaarrrgggggg. I was saved from this with my own baby waking and straight into default mode .

@Reallyreallyborednow I can’t speak for others, but for me it was because I was out of my right mind after 48 hours of no sleep (not just little sleep, literally none), felt isolated and vulnerable and was in no position either physically or mentally to stand up for myself. In ‘real life’ I’m a strong, outspoken woman who would not put up with this treatment for a minute.

Sorry you're having a rubbish time. If it helps at all, I was in hospital for 5 nights while being induced and the only sleep I got was when I was put under general for my emergency section. Other than that I didn't sleep on neither antenatal ward or post natal ward. It was fucking hell.

It does sound a bit odd.
Didn’t she think to buzz through to the nurses on the ward?
I don’t think I would have picked up someone else’s newborn!

I was making fuck all sense. He was, on the basis of actually having slept, able to articulate the issue.

PN wards are the worst! My experience was very similar! The heat, the noise & the utter selfishness & inconsideration of other people was beyond.
I gave birth 1st thing on a Saturday morning (c sec) & was dumped on a ward afterwards & didn't see a midwife, doctor, nurse, anyone for the entire day! I was in agony, couldn't sit up properly, couldn't reach my baby or any of my supplies, had no food or drink, etc - gave up with the bloody buzzer as they clearly ignored it. My husband arrived late aft & as soon as I clapped eyes on him, I was in floods of tears!
It got a bit better after that but not much! The only time I really saw anyone was when they came to berate me for not breastfeeding properly: my milk didn't come in for days & my son refused to latch on: eventually, my husband demanded they allow me to try formula as the baby was screaming with hunger & I was sobbing!
I tried to get out of bed for my 1st shower but they refused to look after my baby, they decided they weren't bringing meals round to bedsides so we had to walk up to the kitchen area, but I could barely walk & couldn't carry my baby or obviously leave him unattended, so I missed several meals. My husband brought in snacks every day & I had to frantically eat & attempt to shower while he was there to look after our son.
All in all, it was a hideous experience that I'm still bitter about today. I ended up completely lying about my fluid intake/output & told them I'd had a 💩 when I hadn't, just to get the hell out of there & go home!!

She did. She says a couple of posts later - nobody came for 15-20 minutes which I can well believe.

Re: posts about standing up for yourself - it's very hard on no sleep in a situation where you end up feeling pathetically grateful for the small amount of attention you do get. And also when the rules e.g. no food brought to bedsides are not explained, and seem unreasonable. On my ward it was "don't leave the baby alone", "don't carry the baby" and "come to the cafeteria for lunch" at the same time. One midwife brought me tea and then the next barked "no hot drinks on the ward". As soon as I moved to a birthing centre for aftercare I got bedside dinner and was allowed to carry DS into the lounge area.

Oh they are hell. Mine wasn't too bad and the only noise was my LO crying EVERY 15 MINUTES all night waking everyone up until I eventually coslept with her at 6am, terrified that I'd squash her. The poor other mums.

YADNBU When I had my DS I had a lady next to me who facetimed what seemed to be everyone she knew and proceeded to describe in brutal detail every second of her delivery. The lady directly opposite me (who was lovely) had a baby that screamed constantly and absolutely nothing would settle him (I really felt for her).
It was so hot.

One midwife told me that I'd probably never be able to breastfeed so I'd be better to to give up bottle feed and then proceeded to tell me off for not having bought formula and bottles with me.

I couldn't wait to get out of there.

If you can get yourself discharged to a midwife led unit for breastfeeding support, do so quick smart! I had the entire unit to myself for 2 nights because it was so under-used. the staff were amazing and incredibly supportive and there was loads of space.

I had a terrible experience too, just 4 weeks ago. They kept me in for 3 days and nights until I “cracked” breastfeeding, and I started to feel imprisoned. The windows in my shared ward had no natural light, and my personal cubicle had no window at all! I didn’t see daylight or breathe fresh air for days until I lost my head and sobbed to the midwives demanding that a doctor needed to see my baby as she had jaundice… 😳 A kind midwife kept an eye on her while I went outside and called my partner.

The worst thing about the experience was the lack of sleep for sure. They would wake me up to give me painkillers or take my blood pressure - I’m sure it was medically required but wow, the one time you need your sleep! And the midwives and nurses spoke at their usual loud daytime volume at ALL hours.

Some of my ward mates included a teenager who conducted every phone call via loud speaker and a woman who slept so soundly through her baby screaming at night I thought she’d died and I had to alert the midwives. Also they all felt compelled to keep their big cubicle light on, even in the early hours.

When I finally did get the hang of BF, I pressed that alarm button during EVERY feed overnight and made sure one of those prison guards midwives was there to bear witness! Only when they’d seen me breastfeed were they willing to send me home. It was a horrible way to end a birth and start motherhood so I feel your pain OP.

When I finally did get the hang of BF, I pressed that alarm button during EVERY feed overnight and made sure one of those prison guards midwives was there to bear witness! Only when they’d seen me breastfeed were they willing to send me home. It was a horrible way to end a birth and start motherhood so I feel your pain OP

Breastfeeding clicked relatively well for us. However whenever the m/w saw me feeding they said every. single. time why don’t i get you a bottle. I was made to feel like a massive inconvenience for bf when they could just throw bottles at me. One even gave me a proper telling off like a fucking child for not bringing bottles and formula with me.

Thank you for all your stories everyone! We are home thank goodness. I did finally crack when I was finally getting some sleep and a doctor woke me up to say she was taking baby for a blood test to check for certain antibodies - I told her that I was negative for them but she didn't believe me and said it wasn't on my record (my results came back two weeks ago but no one had put it in my file??) she wheeled baby off. 10 mins later I was thinking where the hell is my baby? I dragged myself out of bed (7 hours without pain relief at this point) and walked up and down the ward looking for him. Asked a doctor on a computer where he was who laughed at me and didn't even look up from the computer. Found baby in a side room screaming his head off. A midwife popped out of nowhere and said "his mouth is very dry, are you sure you are feeding him often enough" and I absolutely snapped. I said if someone had given me some pain relief or breast feeding support or passed me my baby in the last 7 hours I could have fed him better. They wanted me to wait in with him til the blood tests came back (3 days) I said no chance and went home later that day. Incidentally the doctor called me yesterday apologising for performing an unnecessary blood test on him. It makes me so sad how such a lovely time has been reduced to this for so many women!

Not right now (sure you are knackered!) but I would suggest complaining, particularly about leaving your poor baby alone in a room.

What a joke. Absolute fucking incompetence. Good on you for leaving.

I went through a similar experience, they wouldn't let me out for a week and a half (my birthday included) because I wanted to breastfeed but baby wouldn't latch. They were very anti-breastfeed and kept pushing me to use formula. In the end I had to as they were threatening to call social services even though I was expressing plenty of milk myself but apparently this wasn't acceptable. Wasn't even allowed to hold him unless I was laying down in the bed. Couldn't go and get food or go to the toilet unless there was someone there to watch over baby, but I was on my own and couldn't get any nurses to respond to the buzzers. I had no windows either, and being stuck in that place for a week and a half definitely contributed to my severe pnd. Not a great start especially being 17 and absolutely terrified