Postnatal Ward Hell!

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AIBU to ask if the postnatal word is actually the 7th circle of hell?

On a ward with 4 others. One has been scrolling through songs on their phone for the last two hours only listening to the first 5 seconds of each one. One couple have bought a tv pass and have the One Show on full volume, they are then making video calls over the top of the TV and rowing about why their newborn won't settle (because the poor thing is thinking wtf is all this shouting?). The poor midwives are so understaffed everything is running late, including everyone's painkillers which were due an hour and a half ago. I've had a c section and I'm absolutely boiling and for some reason the heating is on!

Maybe I'm just a grumpy old woman but I'm starting to lose my mind here! Why can't people just be quiet!

I'm glad mine were born in a cottage hospital where one nurse recognised me from 4 years previously when I was only in overnight AND she remembered that I had a daughter.

That sounds like utter bliss.

You have my sympathy OP. I had a planned c section in December and had a terrible experience too. They forgot to take the canula out my hand, they forgot to give me the remote for the bed, so did a lot of abdomens and shuffling immediately after my c section. They gave me pain killers to self administer and forgot to bring back the form (so I didn’t know how often I could take my morphine drops). My cateter was caught under my mattress for 6 hours, so they kept telling me to drink more water because they thought there must be something wrong with my bladder but actually my urine was trapped due to the cateter being essentially plugged. Had horrible abdominal pain until I noticed the cateter was trapped and released it. Asked for the cateter to be removed after 6 hours (due to having pudendal neuralgia and concerns the cateter might cause a flare-up) and spent the next 6 hours going to the bathroom, unaided. I was basically doing an abdomen to hoist myself out of the bed, placing my baby in her cot, shuffling to the toilet, coming back, taking my crying baby back to bed with me where she’d settle back, taking a gulp of morphine because all those abdomens after a c section were incredibly painful and doing it all over again after 10 minutes. Staff knew I had the cateter removed early and would need to urinate a million times but wasn’t bothered with offering any support. My husband wasn’t allowed in the ward, no midwifes or anyone else in sight. I was in too much pain to mind the noise. I left the hospital in the morning as I couldn’t take another hour of having no one to help. On the bright side, the c section was impeccable, with all those abdomens and shuffling up and down I’m genuinely impressed the surgical glued held and no infection occurred. I was also walking normally two days after that.

My daughter gave birth to my granddaughter 5 weeks ago (her first child) and she shared a post natal ward with 3 other mums. One was sleeping so heavily, she didn't wake the whole night even though her new baby was screaming for hours. The midwives woke her several times in the end they took baby to the nurses station. Another was teaching her 12 hour old baby to 'self soothe' and allowed him to scream for the majority of the night. And the third was snoring so loud my daughter couldn't have slept even if the babies did quieten down! She sent me a video of my granddaughter just looking like "Seriously, wtf is all this noise?!" 🤣

So sorry you are suffering, hope you get to go home soon

I had a lovely private room with my eldest but had to go to a different hospital due to an emergency with my second, so my private room was waiting for me at another hospital but the consultant kept not getting round to see me so I couldn't leave. I spent 2 nights in a shared ward and it was truly awful - my own baby was pretty chilled and slept fairly well but I was kept up all night by either other people's babies crying and the midwives steaming in and out doing my blood pressure every hour. On the 3rd day I was told I could finally go to the cottage hospital to my lovely private room, but I didn't bother by that point and just went home!

Poor you sounds awful. I feel so lucky when I had my selection that I had a room to myself with my own shower room.

I did take my own paracetamol which I took when I knew it was time to.

Reading these I am so glad I was never on a ward.
Is there not an option to pay for a private room?

You could not pay me enough to have another child in this shocking maternity system. Thankfully that ship has well and truly sailed 😆 All jokes aside, I would have gone home to Ireland if we had decided to have another and gone semi-private. Not one of my friends there had anything like the awful experience I had with my post-natal care - they were really shocked, especially at the part where you get kicked out of hospital less than 48hrs after CS!! Saying that, it was the lesser of two evils - I couldn't have stayed in that hell-hole ward a second longer.

In the hospital where I was, the side rooms were kept for women who had multiple births/premature babies etc. Believe me I would have paid ANYTHING for a private room... but I saw the woman ahead of me in the queue for CS rolled into theatre for a twin delivery, I knew I hadn't a prayer of getting the one room that was available - fair enough!!

My daughter was taken straight to NICU so I was on the post natal ward without my baby. Thankfully the first night I was alone on the bay, but this started filling up during the day with CS mums and their babies. It was torturous hearing them with their newborns knowing mine was in NICU. I had also just found out that she was in their not just because of the 'shock' of birth, but she had seizures during the first night (which turned out later due to bacterial meningitis).

It got to about 7pm and I was in floods of tears at the nurses station asking if there was anywhere I could go. I couldn't stay on the ward as my heart was just breaking. My husband was also at home at the time so he could catch up on sleep (mutual decision, didn't need both of us there).

Thankfully they found me a side room where I decamped to for the remainder of my time there (was kept in for 5 days due to high blood pressure). I tried to get discharged as early as I could on the last day but due to delays ended up waiting for half a day. Ironically I was doing it to free up the room to give it to someone else in need as I knew from my own experience how valuable they can be for someone.

Oh yes, I feel your pain. They are most definitely hell. With my eldest I was next to a lady who had twins. She would still be talking loudly on the phone at midnight. Then she would fall into a deep sleep and she snored loudly. Her babies would wake up crying and she would just sleep through it. How anyone is supposed to get any sleep in those places is beyond me. Oldest Dd was born between Christmas and New year. I was kept in as she couldn't latch on (later found out she was tongue tied). New year's Eve was total hell. They were understaffed and the ward was packed. Poor Dd was desperate to feed but couldn't latch. She had gone way past the recommended time to feed. I could not get any help. I did wonder what I was doing there. At least at home I would have had my husband's support.

With my youngest I ended up having an emergency C section. I made a big show of just how well I was doing just to get out the next day.

This is why I had three home births after the first one in a dirty, understaffed, clapped out hospital. Cleaner and quieter. Luckily I didn’t need a CS.

My friend has had two babies in a German hospital and even with a normal birth you are in for about three days in a room with just two mums, and they ply you with decent food to help you get your strength up. Apparently she prefers it to home!

The vast majority of everyone who has contributed to this thread has had what I think are unacceptable experiences. This isn’t meant to criticise midwives but lack of rules for want of a better term on postnatal wards.
With so many of us having had overwhelmingly negative experiences, is there not something that could instigated so changes can be implemented for future?

We go home, we remember that it was a bad time but nothing changes so new and returning Mums go through same.

It shouldn’t be hell yet it is for too many. How can this changed? Anyone got ideas to kick start some sort of action without putting more pressure on midwives??

yup! The couple next to me spoke at the top of their voices all night and video called anyone and everyone! I asked them to keep it down but they persisted after five minutes of silence. I was begging to leave but they kept finding reasons why it was too early to discharge me. A week later and I was so glad to be home.

Baby 1 was dreadful I left the next day, baby 2 I refused to go to the ward and went straight home from delivery suite

I can commiserate..I gave birth 6 months ago, and was in for a fortnight before an EMCS, and in that time was in a total of 12 different rooms and/or bays, the heat was unbearable, the midwife shortages were horrendous, the drama with the woman opposite me visits from SS, they forgot to feed me several times cos I got lost in the shuffling of rooms. Aftermath wasn't much better, my staples got stuck and infected n the docs couldn't care less until I had a gaping wound. All in all not what I was hoping for my first (and unfortunately last) child's birth

I've not been on a PN ward but I can tell you that having been an inpatient twice in NHS hospitals during the last 5 years, wards are very noisy places. Seemingly you are not allowed to sleep, noise is constant, some people on their phones day and night 🙄and it's boiling hot. The last time I was in hospital the bloody bed was broken and there was no available replacement bed so I discharged myself so I could have a decent night's sleep 😴.
Never been so glad to get in a taxi and go home. My advice? Discharge yourself from hospital 😒

I feel for you, its not easy especially after a c section. Congratulations on your baby, maybe invest in some ear plugs/headphones??? Hugs x

I feel for you, its not easy especially after a c section. Congratulations on your baby, maybe get some ear plugs 0headphones??? Hugs x

Get earplugs

Really hope you’re home now OP. I was honestly so traumatised by my experience with my first, I know it contributed hugely to the crippling PND I suffered afterwards.

I was in to bed induced - on the induction ward the midwife in charge was horrible. She was really nasty when I showed discomfort at having the pessary inserted (maybe if she hadn’t shoved it so roughly up there with no warning I might not have cried out in pain).

Then an hour later she didn’t believe I was in active labour so refused to examine me, as she said it wouldn’t start that quickly, so I was left writhing in agony with no pain relief, trying desperately to keep from crying out because the young couple in the next bed were sitting laughing at me. My husband went to see if I could have pain relief and was tutted at, whilst the midwives were busy discussing their holiday plans. It was only when another lovely midwife came on shift that I was examined and then whisked straight off to delivery.

After the birth I was taken to a ward with lots of other ladies. Late at night, a clearly very troubled young woman had to be forcefully sedated as she was screaming that she was going to kill her baby. I can still hear the anguish in her voice to this day.

At this point, my husband and I decided we were paying for a side room. In many ways, this was much better but it did mean I was essentially forgotten about. I was so desperate for my filthy bedsheets to be changed (whilst I could hear the staff outside passing round slices of cake that one of them had made) that I ended up stripping it myself, presenting the dirty sheets at the midwife station and asking if I could have some clean ones to change the bed. At least at this point, one of them had the good grace to look ashamed and came running to change it for me. I’d been asking for hours prior to this as I was worried about infection and was also embarrassed at visitors seeing.

Finally, in the week I was there, my room was only cleaned once. The rest of the time, I had to do a DIY job, wiping the bathroom floor with towels etc.

I really wish I’d complained at the time but I was so traumatised and severely ill with PND that I didn’t have it in me. I almost didn’t have a second baby (thankfully had a great experience this time round) and there’s definitely a much bigger age gap between the two of them than there otherwise might have been.

💐 to all you ladies who had a shit time

Wow that’s fucking awful @AnneofRedGables makes me soooo grateful that during my stay with DD1 I had a forceps delivery and the midwife wheeled me to my private suite she Actually told me that I was very lucky I’ll be in my own room (I didn’t get why she said it at the time) and the with my twins, again, I was given a private room with an en suite. and last year I had a baby outside of uk so again, the after birth experience was extremely pleasant.
i am so sorry for all of you who had bad experiences. Really makes you wonder if men would get the same treatment.

If men had babies then aftercare would be so much better. Postnatal wards are grim (although I have been on far worse wards when in hospital for other things too).
I don't think there is a way round crowded wards and bays though really, short of knocking down and rebuilding all the hospitals with single rooms. They are built with a limited number of side rooms and it's quite right they should go to infectious patients, mothers who have had a stillbirth or mothers of multiples etc. I disagree with paying for a private room in an NHS hospital (on the rare occasion that's an option) because there are so few and they should be allocated on clinical need.
There needs to be a huge shift in what the wards are like though and the aftercare. I don't know what that could be though without increasing staff and there is a midwife shortage.
Congratulations OP and hope you get to go home today.

Yeah they suck. I feel for you. Delayed painkillers and so noisy you can’t sleep is not what you want when in recovery.

I have three children and have had varying success with the maternity ward. When I had my first baby I was in a bed facing my ex’s new girlfriend and their baby. Our children were born on the same day. Haha 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ FML.

Second baby I was arguably sent home and ended up re admitted a couple of days later.

Third baby I tested positive for covid the day before I was booked for induction. My partner was allowed on Labour ward but not on the maternity ward. He tested negative for covid the whole time. I had to stay on the maternity ward in isolation for 6.5 days.It nearly broke me.
Most of the staff were so lovely. However One lady was clearly not happy about having to come in my room and avoided it like the plague, even though I had no choice but to buzz a lot of the time as I couldn’t leave my room. One member of staff asked if my partner was on his way when I had to have some tests done ? Er no he’s not allowed…. It was really difficult to go through alone.

Then an hour later she didn’t believe I was in active labour so refused to examine me, as she said it wouldn’t start that quickly, so I was left writhing in agony with no pain relief, trying desperately to keep from crying out because the young couple in the next bed were sitting laughing at me. My husband went to see if I could have pain relief and was tutted at, whilst the midwives were busy discussing their holiday plans. It was only when another lovely midwife came on shift that I was examined and then whisked straight off to delivery.

Why oh why do they bloody do this? If they don't expect the pessary to work, why bother? I also had a pessary at about 1pm and they said they'd check me in 12 hours. I was in active labour by 4pm, told them my contractions were 3 minutes apart and got "Oh right" before the midwife wandered off. The only way I got moved to delivery was by lying and saying DS wasn't moving as much. I went from 4cm to 10cm in 20 minutes and was holding DS (and haemorrhaging from a fast delivery) by 7pm.