Postnatal Ward Hell!

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AIBU to ask if the postnatal word is actually the 7th circle of hell?

On a ward with 4 others. One has been scrolling through songs on their phone for the last two hours only listening to the first 5 seconds of each one. One couple have bought a tv pass and have the One Show on full volume, they are then making video calls over the top of the TV and rowing about why their newborn won't settle (because the poor thing is thinking wtf is all this shouting?). The poor midwives are so understaffed everything is running late, including everyone's painkillers which were due an hour and a half ago. I've had a c section and I'm absolutely boiling and for some reason the heating is on!

Maybe I'm just a grumpy old woman but I'm starting to lose my mind here! Why can't people just be quiet!

Ah this is making me dread my c section next week even more.

Error, by 'I'll with fly' I meant ill with flu. My typing is horrendous when I'm worked up about something 😅

essentially became the ward leader

Well done you! Why the fuck they don't have rules on the ward like no music or TV played out loud etc I don't know, it shouldn't be up to patient to have to police others, there should be firm rules that are spelled out in prenatal appointment so everyone is aware and that midwives should at least try to enforc.

THE HEAT. Why in the ever loving name of God THE INSANE HEAT

It's to prevent babies getting cold if people don't wrap them up properly

All I can say is please press your call bell, every time you need something. Watch everyone’s name badge and keep note of them in your phone. When you get home, write a complaint about anyone who was rude or dismissive to you. I get so many women tell me they are afraid to press the call bell because the previous staff member was so rude. I know that particular staff member has a bad attitude and unfortunately only the patient can complain.

PLEASE complain once you get home if you don’t feel comfortable speaking up during your stay. The staff aren’t listened to.. I’ve seen some shocking things and when I tried to report them I had no proof. I understand there are piss takers, patients who won’t do anything for themselves or their baby and patients who have attitude. What breaks my heart is when you get a lovely woman who is scared to ask for help. It’s totally unacceptable.

I will never refuse to help someone, even if it’s not my job or I'm not allowed to do it, I will go and find someone who can assist. Even if I'm annoyed I won’t show it to the patients. This is where professionalism comes in, some of these staff members attitude is so disrespectful.

The NHS Trust of course. You'll have heard about them on the news - public inquiry for major avoidable harm.

Just to say thank you to the midwives popping up on this thread to encourage mums to campaign for change. The standard of maternity care and staffing isn't good enough.

Unfortunately I was the one with the baby who screamed all night (until the midwives took her away for a few hours so everyone could get some sleep).

Crying babies are not a problem. It’s a maternity ward.

The problem is : Loud visitors, loud music/tv, every family member piling into the ward at any time, husbands sleeping over (loud conversations, lack of privacy).

Sharing a relatively small area with complete strangers and their husbands/friends/family is less than ideal when you have just given birth. Just a flimsy curtain between everyone.

Some people think they’re camping out at a festival.

@ancientgran

Sounds like what my mum described. She gave birth in the late 60’s. First time she stayed in a maternity home 10 days I think and that was normal. As you describe, babies were in the nursery overnight (most not BF), pelvic exercises discussed with the mums, mums shown how to feed and bathe the baby etc. it sounds lovely and would give mums and real chance to recover and figure out feeding etc. Very strict visiting times also. She describes some of the other bits not so lovely like being shaved and having an enema but I guess all things move on - some good some bad!

@Takemetothemaldives so sorry. I do need to say the one thing that wasn’t horrific about the hospital was the staff, all of them, midwives to the tea lady, especially one student midwife who really looked after me and my son during our stay x

Exactly, everyone forgives a crying newborn, it's the inconsiderate adults.

Shining lights through curtains,

Keeping curtains closed preventing the person furthest from the window getting daylight- jaundice baby not bad enough for artificial light but not well enough to go home,
As soon as she was out the door I asked to swap bays. Nurse said she didn't have time, fine DH will do the donkey work, as long as your OK with it!

Phoning overseas in the middle of the night.

Exactly, everyone forgives a crying newborn, it's the inconsiderate adults

not long after I had my first a lady at baby group after a long, detailed story on why she couldn’t breastfeed (was I the only one who got this whenever I bf in public?) very proudly told me about the baby in the next bed crying all night. The mum was young and trying to bf.

Apparently this woman marched over and told her the baby was crying because she had no milk and was starving the baby, and she should just give formula and it would stop the crying.

some people are arseholes.

Keeping curtains closed preventing the person furthest from the window getting daylight- jaundice baby not bad enough for artificial light but not well enough to go home

curtains I can understand. Sat next to a window in a room hotter than hell and you cook. They probably closed them to try and keep a bit of the direct heat out.

I had my first baby in 1989 at St. Thomas's in London and I was in for 5 days after the birth. Post-natal ward was run quite strictly, they insisted on taking baby to the nursery so that you could sleep and there were limited visiting times. I had excellent breastfeeding advice and at one point a nurse called out "Baby bathing demonstration, ladies - come & watch!" and we all shuffled down the corridor together!

When I had a baby nearly 7 years ago it was bloody awful. The nurses were rude and very sarcastic, the couple next door were there for a night and they spent the whole night talking loudly non stop. Machines beeping and buzzing away constantly. I was there for a week and a half, probably because I was young so they wanted to keep an eye on how I was coping. I was in there on my own at only 17, and I will never forget how unbearable the tiredness was. I actually started hallucinating from it. I didn't sleep for a week and a half straight and the way I was treated was disgusting. I remember having in my notes that I wanted to breastfeed, nurse took one look at me and said nope you'll be formula feeding this one. I demanded for another nurse but they all said the same. The birth went well, had the natural water birth that I wanted but the after care and not being able to sleep for so long is something I don't want to experience again, enough to put me off having any more babies for life

I was on the main ward with all 4 C-Sections. 2 and 3 were 7 years apart - OMG what a difference. With 1&2 I stayed in for the standard 5 days and we had reasonable visiting hours and visitors would F.Off at a decent hour. With 3 and 4, two of the dads were there overnight! And whole families - all day, shouting and chattering loudly when I just longed for blissfull peach with my newborn. The men were bored, staring into space and then at me whilst I hobbled off in my immodest post op gown to the loo.
I hated it so much that I’ve got my daughter to take out health insurance that covers private hospital birth as it is absolute HELL at what should be a beautiful time.

When I went onto the ward I was the 4th person out of the 4 bays. I established as soon as I arrived that the couple opposite were a pair of knobs. As I was being wheeled into my bay I heard him talking aggressively about a text argument he was having with some people, they were Jeremy Kyle types, I mean who is focusing on arguments when you're in hospital with your newborn? Then same knobhead was playing videos on his phone loudly, as in swiping through a load in succession. They thankfully were discharged within a few hours.

Then I had a couple diagonally from my bay who liked to have very loud conversations in French in the middle of the night, didn't adopt any quiet "middle of the night" voices, so when they were awake I was too. Thankfully they too were discharged the next morning and then it was me left in peace!

Also I second the heat thing and I gave birth in spring! Can't imagine the heat in the summer. Both me and the woman in the ward told them we were profusely sweating and wanted a window hitched open slightly. The midwives were dead against it as apparently the newborns need to be in Caribbean heat.

Oh my god, I posted about this exact same thing a week ago! It was 4am and I was despairing with a one day old in my arms and my c section wound on fire. You poor, poor thing - unfortunately it seems this is just the case for many maternity wards. I asked the midwife to stop someone snoring and she did! I don’t see anything wrong with asking midwives to remind people to be aware of others etc.

I got moved to another ward which was blissful - two other new mums just chatting quietly to their babies and no phones. Perhaps you could ask to move?

so sorry it’s so shit - ask for oromorph for the pain, it’s brilliant. Congrats on your new baby 💕

Oh no! When I had my DS we didnt have TVs and very restricted visiting hours. Our little ward was quiet. You need quiet to rest. I would tell them to shut up.

I don't understand why people have to be so loud and attention seeking when we are not interested.

Ah OP. You are living my first postnatal ward experience. I feel your pain. x

Which provider covers private medical for birth? Not many do...

The absolute worst 'care' I ever received was on the post natal ward.

Of course this was before I had the misfortune to need a GP post-covid, so it's now a fairly even match.

Wow… What general area of the country is this? Luckily, due to Covid, visiting times were tight when I was in last year after my section. Which I was glad for as one of the dad’s kept loudly watching Euros matches on tv. UANBU at all.

All maternity wards are roasting but I think that is more for the benefit of the babies. I had a fan going.

Hope they don’t get too behind on your pain relief. Hope that guy gets kicked out by security too.

Feel a bit sorry for the woman struggling to feed and settle her baby though as the reality of a newborn can be a real shock to the system.

I had an ok ward for 4 days but for the first three, the lady across from me - her baby screamed bloody murder all day and all night. She made no attempt to stop it and the staff no attempt to help. Torturous
her partnet also ( somehow bypassed the 2 hour slots?) took to staring right at us for hours , whislt i was trying to breastfeed my baby and do skin on skin- so I spent a lot of time behind my curtains

There is so much misinformation about breastfeeding.

Its the only thing I wish I’d known more about/researched before giving birth. I genuinely thought baby would know what to do and ‘get on with it.’