My family is being harassed by a 13 year old girl

[Backachesandheadaches]

This sounds absolutely bizarre because I KNOW she is a child and she SHOULDNT have this much power but here we are.

DS (12) had a friend we'll call her Hannah (not her real name) who is 13 they always had a turbulent friendship which involved Hannah abusing my son physically/mentally and emotionally, on a daily basis and then crying when he would react at her.
Anyway they fell out for good after she disclosed a horrific secret of my DS's one of which is true and has affected him massively.

Ever since my family have dealt with graffiti on our property and all over the area we live, random bouts of knock a door run between the hours of 10pm and 11pm all times having woken our youngest child (4) and he becoming hysterical through fear, we have dealt with Hannah and her friend let's call her Emma (not real name again) shouting obscenities at the house when windows are open, we are STILL dealing with Hannah and Emma prank calling MY phone number on a regular basis (over 60 calls) and acting like idiots over the phone, Hannahs mum has tried to have me done for harassment (?!) This was counter reported by myself as we are not causing any harassment and are in fact essentially sitting on the back lines watching it happen to us. We have had Hannahs mother call the police maliciously and LIE to the police telling them me and the kids were being beaten (not true and police saw it wasn't) and today we have been PULLED by the police on a 'tip off' made by Hannah and Emma that my partner is driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs (both tests were negative)

What can we actually do about this? I report every single incident to the police and absolutely NOTHING Is done about it! We have blocked all their phone numbers, we are being FORCED to move out of our home of the last 13 years due to this! We move by the end of the year.

Nobody is taking us seriously, we are being reported maliciously left right and center for things that are categorically untrue and false and are all malicious.

I know it's not the Hannahs mother as she no longer drives past my house as the police told her to stay away from me due to her harassment, but her daughter and her daughters friend are constantly walking past my house on a daily basis which is how they've snapped a photo of my partners car to make the malicious call.

We are essentially trapped in this and have no way out. Police aren't being helpful, we can't go and sort it ourselves (as tempting as it is) what the hell do we do?

We are DESPERATE

@Backachesandheadaches don’t answer private number calls, direct calls to leave a message, if it’s urgent then they will?

I second this. Hopefully, Emma's parents might not be very happy with her friendship with Hannah.

@Backachesandheadaches
A problem mother and her daughter were moved from a rural village to a housing association place because the mother was making such a pest of herself.
The daughter became JUST like her mother in time.
13 is a” Nasty little age” for stuff like this.

Definitely get a ring doorbell as others have suggested.

Some families get off on being dicks like this.

Will hassles with this family affect the house sale. If you put it on the market
graffiti could definitely put off buyers.

Another “ Problem woman” and her daughter did manage to drive a nice family out years ago, the police were sick to the back teeth of her.

These people LOVE drama and conflicts , Ignoring them can really help.

I couldn't see if this has been referenced or not but does the harassment have anything to do with the horrific secret? Horrific to me sounds either like your child has been the victim of something awful or has done something awful. Whilst noone deserves to be harassed, if it is that your child did something awful I wonder if this is why you're a) being targeted and b) the police aren't assisting as much as they could? Not sure what the answer is to that though.

@Newmumatlast my son was a victim of something truly horrific.

Contact the police every single time it happens. They are unlikely to respond to one off incidents.
Keep a diary with times and dates of incidents and share it with the Community Safety team in your local council (the council have a responsibility for ASB too but people seem to forget about it).
Don't get fixated by Ring doorbells. Presumably you can film on your mobile phone? If she's hammering on the windows that badly record it.

This sounds pretty typical in these setups.
Unstable mother, tricky daughter, mother and daughter probably squabble like children, but are united in hassling innocent people.
They probably have form for this type of behaviour.
Deeply dysfunctional and immature.

I am so sorry for the trauma your son went through and the trauma you are all going through. It's not tit for tat re social services. The girl has a truly horrific role model and will only end up in the system before too long. If the mother is targeting her neighbours in a harassment campaign, they could also have called SS about the effects on the child. It seems utterly malevolent but that child is emulating her mother through learnt behaviour. I hope you all get through this to a better life 🙏

I’m no lawyer, but trying to sue the harasser for “ Libel “ and defamation of character is impossible.
One assumes they have no money.
You say you have to watch the pennies.

Defamation lawyers cost many thousands, and how will the other family pay you?

Don’t go down this route.
Legal aid assuredly won’t cover it.

You are “ Lucky” in that you don’t privately own, so at least moving will be cheap!

But I pity the poor family who move in to that milieu.
It sounds absolutely hellish.

Every single time something happens, call 101 and log it with them or log it with 101 online. Every single time. This will help form evidence that there is a pattern of harassment from Hannah/Emma/Hannah’s Mother. Hannah is 13 and can absolutely be arrested, charged and see inside of a court for committing a criminal offence, which harassment is. Invest in a ring doorbell, keep any text messages, keep phone logs. Contact your local MASH or speak to the safeguarding lead at your kids school about the family and the trouble you’re having with the family and raise concerns with them - her Mother sounds absolutely mad to be engaging the way she is over what essentially was a teenage squabble and I would have serious concerns about how she parents her children given her incredibly childish response to all this. Go to your local police station and get details of someone higher up than your PCs/PSs and speak to them. Lots of solicitors offer a free 30 mins consultation, find a reputable criminal solicitor in your area that offers this and can advise your legal rights and so on.

moving absolutely should be a last resort and I would utilise all the above before moving. Sounds horrendous though.

If she did something “truly horrific” to your son, why aren’t the police doing anything? This all seems very bizarre, they jump at the chance to come to you but seemingly don’t do anything with the clear evidence you have against them?

I think scumbags like this only understand one thing but involves a baseball bat and you’re likely to end up in trouble yourself.

How long do you have until you can move? Is it fat enough away? She may have people that could find you if it’s still in the area. Not meaning to scare you just these type of people won’t stop. I bet she will still call you too.

Op I’m truly sorry you’re dealing with this. I can understand why you want to move as it sounds like this has affected your son terribly.

other than keeping reporting to the police I’m not sure what else you can do. Maybe you could write to MP, pressure the police into being more active?

you could try sharing footage on social media. I know that’s worked with some bullying situations local to me, as the whole town came out in defence of the victim, though that obviously has the potential to escalate the tensions too. So maybe just ignoring it while you wait for the move is all you can do.

@EcafTnuc I thought the truly horrific thing was something he had experienced prior that the girl told everyone about.

You have my sympathy OP. It sounds horrific and I actually think the fact that it's a13 year old (and the comments about not letting a kid dictate your life etc) is irrelevant. Someone banging on your door and screaming abuse at your house is no less awful if it's an adult if a child. Your home should be a safe haven for your family and I imagine your son in particular needs to feel it's a safe place. You shouldn't have to be sitting there every night on edge waiting for it to happen, or having to normalise/minimise it happening and shrug it off.

I'd agree with videoing, recording etc every incident and doing it in a way that obvious to the person that they're being recorded, such as on a phone (a ring doorbell might not be that obvious to a 13 year old). That might make them think twice. I'd then think about posting a letter through their door saying you have video evidence of the x number of times and dates this has happened (make it a nice long list) showing x,y and z people harassing you and your family and that it's all being sent to the police and your lawyer. It might have an impact. If not I guess you just have to grit your teeth and wait to move. But it is an awful situation and you have every right to be upset about it x

This is good advice

Call the police. Every single time.
state this is harassment and you want something done

Schools can't get involved in everything. Different if it's happening at school or to and from school.

You don't really have many options tbh

Short of booby trapping the front door, going out and spanking the brats yourself, tempting as it may be, your only real recourse is the police.

Get a ring doorbell and gather evidence, report every incident and see if you can get a solicitor to send a letter before action or whatever they're called.

If your son has been assaulted why haven’t you made police act on that? Ds was attacked by boy at school on school grounds- I pushed it right to the top and the boy got an asbo

police didn’t wanna do anything but I complained and said I’d be making it formal if they didn’t act

2 year asbo

from one assault that left no narks as such and with no history

you have to stop letting police dismiss you

you have rights even if kids

I like this advice. I'm sorry but I would risk it all before anyone intimidated my family. Plus I'd go after the parents. No one is helping you. The advice on here is pretty standard and I'd assume you've looked into allow this already!

You can take civil action under prevention of harassment act. It requires evidence of two instances of behaviour that qualify as harassment, there isn’t a strict time limit between instances as long as they can be considered linked. Your police reports would be considered evidence. At the first instance you can get an interim injunction/interdict and breaching that can lead to stronger protections for you which if breached can lead to criminal charges for the harasser.

it’s not ideal but it can get you to the point where you should be able to assess the situation with a bit of distance from these kids.

Police were meant to get better at dealing with harassment and stalking but in practice it hasn’t changed in decades even when legislation is meant to have been strengthened in favour of the victims.

keep a diary of everything. Photograph/video/cctv everything. Collect evidence to support your case. Keep reporting to police, be a nuisance to them too.

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s horrible being held prisoner like that.

Report every single incident to the police OP. Push for them to take action, such as an asbo, or protection from harassment. Also speak to the school and see if they can do anything to help. If it were me, I'd contact my MP and local councillors too to ask for help.

Tell me your middle class twat without telling me you’re a middle class twat 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I am so sorry you are going through this. I do not believe you are overreacting. The stress must be unbearable. Even if they stop harassing the family they will continue to torture your poor son. Some kids are just evil. I would move.

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