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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My family is being harassed by a 13 year old girl

159 replies

Backachesandheadaches · 27/05/2022 15:27

This sounds absolutely bizarre because I KNOW she is a child and she SHOULDNT have this much power but here we are.

DS (12) had a friend we'll call her Hannah (not her real name) who is 13 they always had a turbulent friendship which involved Hannah abusing my son physically/mentally and emotionally, on a daily basis and then crying when he would react at her.
Anyway they fell out for good after she disclosed a horrific secret of my DS's one of which is true and has affected him massively.

Ever since my family have dealt with graffiti on our property and all over the area we live, random bouts of knock a door run between the hours of 10pm and 11pm all times having woken our youngest child (4) and he becoming hysterical through fear, we have dealt with Hannah and her friend let's call her Emma (not real name again) shouting obscenities at the house when windows are open, we are STILL dealing with Hannah and Emma prank calling MY phone number on a regular basis (over 60 calls) and acting like idiots over the phone, Hannahs mum has tried to have me done for harassment (?!) This was counter reported by myself as we are not causing any harassment and are in fact essentially sitting on the back lines watching it happen to us. We have had Hannahs mother call the police maliciously and LIE to the police telling them me and the kids were being beaten (not true and police saw it wasn't) and today we have been PULLED by the police on a 'tip off' made by Hannah and Emma that my partner is driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs (both tests were negative)

What can we actually do about this? I report every single incident to the police and absolutely NOTHING Is done about it! We have blocked all their phone numbers, we are being FORCED to move out of our home of the last 13 years due to this! We move by the end of the year.

Nobody is taking us seriously, we are being reported maliciously left right and center for things that are categorically untrue and false and are all malicious.

I know it's not the Hannahs mother as she no longer drives past my house as the police told her to stay away from me due to her harassment, but her daughter and her daughters friend are constantly walking past my house on a daily basis which is how they've snapped a photo of my partners car to make the malicious call.

We are essentially trapped in this and have no way out. Police aren't being helpful, we can't go and sort it ourselves (as tempting as it is) what the hell do we do?

We are DESPERATE

OP posts:
Samcro · 27/05/2022 16:13

Waxonwaxoff0 · 27/05/2022 15:35

Sounds more annoying than anything. I certainly wouldn't be moving house. I wouldn't let a 13 year old intimidate me. I'd be having words with her mum personally.

having been on the receiving end of a girl that age, it is more than annoying.
don't talk to the mother. keep reporting to the police.
and get one of those doorbell things. wish they had been a thing when it was happening to us.

Original poster
Backachesandheadaches · 27/05/2022 16:15

I will be looking again into a ring doorbell, does anybody know of a pay monthly website for them? As we can't afford one in one payment if that makes sense? We have birthdays and a house move coming up so saving like crazy for those and with the rising costs of absolutely everything like many we are feeling the sting of this.

OP posts:
Blinky21 · 27/05/2022 16:16

They are above the age of criminal responsibility so the police should be treating it as a crime, report every incident

GettingItOutThere · 27/05/2022 16:17

report them to social services = whatever you know report them

get a ring doorbell and get a restraining order against them

they sounds like psychos!!!

Xiomara22 · 27/05/2022 16:18

have a look at second hand ring doorbells on eBay. I sold mine cheap on there.

have a look at net gear cams on Amazon they’re really good too. Pretty sure Amazon offers pay monthly plans now too.

What’s a 13 year old doing out that late at night too , have you tried ringing social services on her saying her child is out late at night on her own?

MsTSwift · 27/05/2022 16:19

Moving seems quite extreme if you weren’t moving anyway?

lameasahorse · 27/05/2022 16:20

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mnnewname · 27/05/2022 16:23

Hi OP

Have you just reported to the police?

You can also report to the anti social behaviour team at your local council.

Do they live near you? I'm presuming so as there harassing you so often.

Does Hannah's mum own her home as if not you could try reporting to her landlord too.

You could also ask the police to refer your case to the local community safety partnership meetings.

Meraas · 27/05/2022 16:24

Backachesandheadaches · 27/05/2022 16:15

I will be looking again into a ring doorbell, does anybody know of a pay monthly website for them? As we can't afford one in one payment if that makes sense? We have birthdays and a house move coming up so saving like crazy for those and with the rising costs of absolutely everything like many we are feeling the sting of this.

A Ring doorbell is £89.

How can you afford to move house by the end of the year but not afford £89?

lameasahorse · 27/05/2022 16:25

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CharlieBoo · 27/05/2022 16:26

Really sorry you’re going through this .. sounds absolutely awful. Like others have said I doubt the police are interested.. shocking really but that is policing these days. Ring doorbell, CCTV signs up and ignore as much as you can.. the reaction is what’s making it fun for them. Don’t answer the door and don’t react to them in any way unless of course they’re vandalising your property or causing harm.

I would also seek advice from a solicitor if you can afford it. They will know what you can and can’t do or send a letter for you.

good luck.. we had similar in my close growing up, a family from hell moved in and made everyone’s lives a misery.

Original poster
Backachesandheadaches · 27/05/2022 16:27

@MsTSwift it may appear extreme but if we don't move my DS mental health (which is already in the shitter) will decline further and I worry if it gets worse what will he do? We are moving to predominantly protect him and remove him from their firing line he has been assaulted so many times by this girl and her friends. She is to my sons say so the most popular girl in the year and nearly all the other kids in the year follow her lead. So you could say she's the queen bee and because they've fallen out we are baring the brunt of it because she's lost her punch bag now (my son) we live in the same area and they both go to a school which isn't in the area, school already know about it all.

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 27/05/2022 16:28

Waxonwaxoff0 · 27/05/2022 15:35

Sounds more annoying than anything. I certainly wouldn't be moving house. I wouldn't let a 13 year old intimidate me. I'd be having words with her mum personally.

I honestly think that many people on this site know exactly how horrible 'children' can be, thie idea seems to exist that they can't be held responsible because they're 'children'. They don't sound to be the sort of dregs who whould be bothered by a solicitor's letter and I doubt the so-called moyher could care less! Not helpful, I know, sorry.

Original poster
Backachesandheadaches · 27/05/2022 16:31

@Meraas we can afford to move because its not a private housing situation, we can afford to move because if we don't I dread to think what will happen to my sons already beaten mental health. I've looked into ring door bells in the past we do already have a camera pointed outside the window aimed at my partners car which covers the whole driveway but doesn't have night vision.

OP posts:
lameasahorse · 27/05/2022 16:31

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Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

MissConductUS · 27/05/2022 16:33

Sometimes the older model Ring doorbells go on sale on Amazon (they own Ring). Just make sure you have good wifi by the door. They are motion-activated so you will get video and audio anytime someone approaches the door.

Emotionalsupportviper · 27/05/2022 16:35

Backachesandheadaches · 27/05/2022 16:11

@Pinkbonbon they aren't ringing the doorbell they are bashing on the door with closed fists with such intensity my windows vibrate and my youngest sons bedroom is directly above the front door they are bashing on! Of course a 4 year old would be woken by that and be hysterical with fear, he doesn't sleep great as it is, and by that I mean he's the lightest sleeper I have ever known! He doesn't like loud noises etc (awaiting assessments but whole other thread that)

I am not letting fear control me. I still do everything I was doing previously to all of this etc but its becoming a joke with the constant harassment and I won't lie an embarrassment having the police pull up randomly so all my neighbours have a good gossip when this happens.

Empty a bucket of piss water over the little sh!ts!

Emotionalsupportviper · 27/05/2022 16:36

Well - not really . . . but if I didn't have kids to worry about I would do it.

statetrooperstacey · 27/05/2022 16:37

Bucket of water op, then crack her round the head with it, just lie and deny it, she’s already got history for malicious reporting, realistically what are the police going to do about it, feck all , maybe a caution, do you need a clean dbs check?

whowhatwerewhy · 27/05/2022 16:37

Seems Hannah is the ring leader, maybe report Emma her parents might clamp down on her . Will Hannah be so brave on her own.

LIZS · 27/05/2022 16:37

I don't understand why the school are not more involved. Even if the worst of the behaviour is offsite they have a duty to safeguard your ds and protect his wellbeing.

Sproglette · 27/05/2022 16:38

@Backachesandheadaches could you get a sensor light which is motion activated so if they come at night the camera you have already could record them as they would be lit up?

LaBellina · 27/05/2022 16:47

So sorry this is happening to you OP.
Report every incident and indeed invest in a ring doorbell. Or buy a body cam and go outside, get direct evidence of the harassment that you can use against her.
Report them to social services and the council, involve everyone who might be able to make a difference. I would consider too contacting the local newspaper or even a tabloid and see if they would be interested in reporting your story, I am pretty sure the little shit and her psycho mother wouldn’t be happy to be exposed like that.

Macaroni1924 · 27/05/2022 16:47

LIZS · 27/05/2022 16:37

I don't understand why the school are not more involved. Even if the worst of the behaviour is offsite they have a duty to safeguard your ds and protect his wellbeing.

I know from working in a school that when it’s out of school (unless in uniform) not much can be done. They can have a word but that’s about it.

One school I worked in though would refer to the community police that worked in the schools so maybe see if they can do that?

This is a horrible situation OP. I know Amazon sometimes do they ring doorbell in the 5 monthly instalments. Not sure if you could see if Klarna have any sites you could get it from with the pay in 3 instalments.

FlissyPaps · 27/05/2022 16:50

Oh OP this sounds like a living nightmare. Your poor family and your DS. 😥

Rational me would:
Keep a logbook/diary of all* incidents.

  • Get a ring/camera doorbell or CCTV Keep reporting all *incidents to the police, social services and the girls school
  • Contact your local citizens advice bureau Block all numbers/calls from the girls. Do not respond or retaliate. * Tell your son to not respond or retaliate. As difficult as it may be for him. If anything happens on school grounds, he must *inform teachers immediately
  • Ask for a meeting with the school governors or safeguarding lead

Irrational me would:
Beat the * out of the parents. Obviously don’t do that😂

But in all serious, you cannot give up. Do not accept any shit from the police, keep pushing. Keep reporting. Do it until your blue in the face.

You are an adult & Hannah and Emma are children! You have authority here. Do not let 2 snotty bored vindictive children scare your family and make you move out of your family home!