Permanent exclusion-how do I find a new school that will take an excluded child?

[Alwaystoblame]

Posting for traffic.
How do I go about finding my Dd a new school if she's been permanently excluded? How likely are good schools to take her on in year 10 with an appalling attendance and behaviour record? She's very bright and doing very well academically when are bothers to go to class and do the homework. Attendance in in the 60s for this year. Even when she dies go in she is late and/or truants classes.
I have 2 previous threads about the issues she's having but I wanted to ask specifically about new schools without getting detailed.

@Ellie56 sadly not. She has a habits of doing the outward train journey with us then getting a lift home after she walks off and cries to her dad that I'm abusing her. All holiday she wanted to sit next to me and kept saying how she's not been away with us for a year. That was her choice though.she's had tickets to music festivals, theme parks, water parks, train tickets to various places along with hotels and she orchestrates some drama and doesn't come with us. I've been putting money into a savings account for her and feel like transferring it back to cover the money she's wasted. I can't work as I'm a full time carer so money is carefully saved for these trips over a long period.

She has a habits of doing the outward train journey with us then getting a lift home after she walks off and cries to her dad that I'm abusing her
Why do you still bring her with you? . Isn't she going on holiday with her Dad?

Indeed this. And I assume you only have very young children. When they get older, they have free will, and I am very much afraid that they don't always do what mummy tells them to do. Do you still do what your mummy tells you to do?

Don't want to derail the thread but this sort of judgey comment is so irritating.

Sounds like you are doing the best you can OP. Such a pity her dad is so useless.

Because she's my daughter and I love her and her siblings want her there as do I. That's until she kicks off of course 😩 her younger sister and her are/were very close and going away with her is always weird and sad. But enough is enough now and she will not be given the opportunity to ruin anything else. She even caused drama at my mum's birthday and upset her. I suppose it's the triumph of hope over experience.

I would definitely claw some of the money back out of the savings account to cover her wilful and deliberate wasting of your hard saved money.

@Alwaystoblame

Take the money out to spend on a trip/treat for you and your other children before they go back to school.

Yes, I might do a couple of days trips before they go back to school.

Op
There absolutely comes a time when regardless of whether she is your daughter or not that you need to step back for you health and for your other kids happiness.
Being really blunt she doesn't appear to have many redeeming qualities and has shown no remorse for hurting that girl.
There are something just people who can't be helped .

The trial has been extended with words had about improving attendance at school in general and attending classes. She has to make big changes for her trial to be successful. Yet yesterday she was in trouble for having a banned item in school.

She has reported me to the police who have referred to social services about what happened on holiday 🙄

Well, a very sudden change today. I've had a call from Dd and from the coordinator saying the new school is ending her trial today. She's not attending classes and is disruptive. Shocker 🙄 She will go back to the original school and if she doesn't behave she will be taught in isolation. No other transfer available, this was a one chance deal and because she's year 11 they don't like to move them.

Well that didn't last long did it?

Does that mean she's now at risk of exclusion from the original school if she doesn't conform?

It was all going great according to Dd but she now admits it's not.
She would have to do something violent or otherwise terrible to be permanently excluded. If she doesn't behave in general she will be taught in isolation for the rest of the school year. Her dad has previously objected to this but the fact is if she behaves then there'll be no issues and she can attend classes with her peers. If she continues her current behaviour then she only has herself to blame for being isolated. Two weeks ago she was happy to be at the new school and wished she'd gone there earlier, it was much better than her original school and she had lots of friends etc. all a fabrication from the sounds of it. I will not be getting overly involved but I know her original school will communicate with me well and they know I'm supportive and won't take nonsense from Dd. Her dad is the one she lives with and he will be doing the managing of her attendance and behaviour. I give her 2 weeks before she's in trouble again. She's too predictable and he's too lenient.

Yes, she can be permanently excluded from the original school, but as you've said she would have to do something against the school rules and which warrants permanent exclusion.
She can still be suspended (used to be called fixed term exclusion) if she breeches any rules that don't warrant permanent exclusion
School can also refer for alternative provision (some areas still call this pupil referral units) so she'd still be on the schools roll but 'directed off site' for a fixed period, normally to try and make sure that she has basic GCSE's and they don't have to constantly isolate her.
She may have felt the new school was going well from her perspective, but it sounds like the new school were having to use too many resources to keep her there.
Keep communicating with the original school, especially if dad allows her not to go back, because the local authority has to make provision for her somewhere

Surely they don't have the resources to teach her in isolation for more than a very short period of time?
What's wrong with her?

I don't for a second think the OPs dd "can't be helped" but certainly she needs more intensive and compulsory intervention than is being provided at the moment. I feel really sorry for her actually (easy for me as I don't have to deal with the fall out from her behaviour).

I do think the OP has done what she can. What a pity her father is so ineffective.

To be honest, the terrifying lack of empathy for anyone in her life would lead me to believe that she is perhaps beyond 'help'
She's always right, her victims 'deserving it'.. it's almost sociopathic in nature.

I imagine she'd just get sent work to get on with in the school isolation unit rather than get any teaching.

I don't know the exact plan yet because neither school have communicated anything to me. Dd thinks she can waltz back in to her original school and there be no issues with anything. Her dad is fuming with her. I've not known him this angry so maybe he will finally be the parent she needs him to be. He's certainly had enough of her. Social services are seeing what support they can provide, CAMHS are doing the same and that was before this happened today so I hope she will accept whatever support is offered. I intend to be fairly hands off and leave Dd and her dad to it. He wanted her living with him after all. I know school will let me know what's happening soon because they are pretty good at communicating normally. I think we need a big meeting of parents, camhs, school and social services to put things in place for her to be supported but also to make sure she knows we are all on the same page. She needs to attend counselling/camhs weekly on the programme they want her to attend. She needs to attend school every day and be on time and attend every lesson. Basic stuff I know but she needs it spelling out to her. I'm hoping that her being back out small town doesn't mean I'll have trouble locally from her and her mates again. I enjoyed the peace and security of her being miles away knowing that she wouldn't be hanging around the park here after school and up to anything she shouldn't. Nor could I be expected to collect her from school at short notice or be on tenterhooks if the phone rang and it was school. In fact I had no calls from school at all in the last few weeks of term. It was great. Dd2 just gets on with stuff and doesn't get into any trouble. She's not happy that her troublemaker of a sister will be back at school. Pass the gin!

She needs help but school is not the place for this girl.

I have to agree.
I think we need a big meeting of parents, camhs, school and social services to put things in place for her to be supported but also to make sure she knows we are all on the same page
Why? Why do all these agencies need to dance around your daughter offering "support"?

shouldnt she be at a pru?

@Alwaystoblame you can ask for a network meeting so that everybody involved knows what is happening. School will communicate with you as soon as a plan is put in place. You can state that you are not the first point of contact.

@Goingforarun the PRU or alternative provision will likely be the next step now that the managed move has failed.

School said she didn't fit the criteria for a PRU. I thought that would be ideal for her and give her the support she needs.

@Johnnysgirl should everyone just give up on her? She's still a child and needs help. Her behaviour is totally unacceptable and she needs professional input to manage her behaviour and her emotions.

I hope that the victims of her violent behaviour are also receiving support for what they went through, especially given that she’s now coming back to their school - but having been in the education system I highly doubt it.

I hope so too.

I think she'll be isolated regularly for the benefit of both her and the school community. A PRU might be considered now but I don't know. I'll hopefully know more tomorrow.

It's like she's two different people. There's the behaviour I've talked about on here and then there's the funny, intelligent, caring, loving, affectionate, creative, talented, beautiful girl I know and love. It's a total head fuck for me as her mum but I know shes not rotten to the core. She's very lost and she needs help to find her way. I don't condone any of her bad behaviour and won't tolerate it.