Smashing the place up is NOT automatically and of itself, abusive.
I've lived with throwers and smashers.
Theres the kind who go away and throw something/punch something/slam something in another room, away from the person they're arguing/fighting with.
Theres the kind that turn away from you and throw things the other way.
Theres the kind who throw things or smash things NEAR you but not quite hitting you, in a 'look what i COULD do' kinda way (my mother!)
THeres the kind who go and trash YOUR stuff not theirs.
Theres the kind who actually throw stuff at you..
Not all of these are abusive! I was advised by psychologists to go and hit things! I went and hit drums but if I hadn't been a drummer and had a drum kit... would I have been abusive for going away and hitting pillows?
My sister would go away and hack at a huge log we had with an axe - violent, hell yes but better than throwing things AT people which she did (4lb dumb-bell, fractured my skull) prior to that coping strategy.
Surely there comes a point if you trap someone in a fight, and you refuse to let them leave, and you keep on provoking them, hitting them, throwing things at them... they'll retaliate and you have brought that on yourself?