Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Part 5 AIBU to want 15 minutes fame? (depp v heard)

1000 replies

ENoeuf · 25/05/2022 21:48

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4554620-part-4-aibu-to-keep-this-discussion-on-amber-and-jonny-going

continuing our unhealthy obsession 😂

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
TiddyTidTwo · 26/05/2022 18:15

Ultimately, I don't think it matters what the outcome is.

Their careers, reputation, future opportunities etc etc all rely on the worldwide court of public opinion due to their profession, not 7 jurors.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 26/05/2022 18:16

Onceacheetah · 26/05/2022 04:33

You're all ghouls. If I was a victim of domestic abuse I would be distraught reading your comments.

I am. And I am.

I'm a victim of child (domestic) abuse which started as a teenager, sexual abuse, rape, stalking and sexual abuse. I discovered I was traumatized at a later point in life and had 18 months of EMDR therapy for cPTSD. It was life-changing and life-enhancing. I watched the streamed court sessions in the beginning as I have a fascination with big US legal cases - I've watched them before - and we don't get an opportunity to watch them here.

I withdrew some time ago from watching this trial or participating in the threads. Heard and Depp are both hideous, but I pity both. I know how child abuse can make a mess of a person. I'm disappointed that she's been proven to be a pathological liar. I'm disgusted by the way he speaks about women, goes through his life vandalizing everything surrounding him and everyone still seems to be in thrall to him. I also sense there are powerful forces behind the drive to shut women up. I don't think, as a PP suggested, that women don't necessarily want to believe other women lie. That's a naive assumption. What does trouble me is that society as a whole is (demonstrably) far more comfortable with the idea that women lie 'about the big stuff' than that men - any men let alone the Hollywood icons they love to revere - is capable of horrific abuse. There's a precedent for this. And the abuse levelled at Heard, when both she and Depp have been proven in court to have behaved disgustingly, is far greater than any censure imposed on Depp. It's horribly, obviously, unfair. Still, I suppose while they're gunning for this woman's jugular at least Meghan Markle will get a few days off.

The tone of this thread is horrible, and has descended into people being openly hostile to those whose views don't concur with their own. That's disappointing. The earlier threads were much more factual and informative. There's also a hell of a lot of projection going on here. From the experiences I've listed above, it should be clear I know being the victim of abuse sucks, that trauma and PTSD are horrible conditions to navigate through life. But victims don't always respond in the same way. Frankly, I find the idea that I should be hanging my head, crying, and 'behaving as a victim should' profoundly offensive. The idea that if you don't do this things, you're not a 'real' victim, is repellent. Likewise, being a victim of trauma doesn't mean I get to dictate what being a victim of trauma is universally like, or that I get to dismiss someone's situation because they didn't respond or handle it in exactly the same way I did.

It's shit, and I'm sorry (yet again) so other many women have, like me, been through such awful trauma at the hands of men. But this case isn't about you, any more than it's about me.

unctuousunicorns1 · 26/05/2022 18:19

Perhaps, but I do think that, regardless of any front, it would be a hammer blow if it goes against him once more and leaves him at the end of the road so to speak. He'll still be a wealthy man regardless if he loses, but having the shadow of those two labels over him is nothing to envy.

If he wins then AH will forever be known as bunny boiler psycho, to use vulgar parlance. Equally ugly for either of them, either way.

mummyrocks1 · 26/05/2022 18:19

SarahSissions · 26/05/2022 16:25

I’m not really sure why they called her back for that, it really wasn’t helpful to her case and surely just muddied the waters.
comments about the social media aspect, whilst unpleasant, aren’t really JDs responsibility and he can’t be held accountable for that frenzy.

Can't he? He said he wanted to humiliate her and destroy her. He had a meeting with his attorney and the Mail. I think he was behind the smear campaign against AH.

I am only on the rebuttal of AHs PD witness. I can't wait to get onto the next stuff.

adriftabroad · 26/05/2022 18:37

I am a better actress than her. She is dispicable. IMVHO. I had doubts, I now have none.

RosieRooster83 · 26/05/2022 18:39

@mummyrocks1 whilst it isn't always the best course of action, I think it's fairly normal to want to destroy your abuser especially if the person feels the roles have been reversed in the sense of AH accusing him of heinous crimes that it appears she was guilty of herself.

Rinoachicken · 26/05/2022 18:41

Amber said “people have been making videos & mocking me in this trial.” But I thought they weren’t supposed to look at SM/read about the trial?

RosieRooster83 · 26/05/2022 18:44

Rinoachicken · 26/05/2022 18:41

Amber said “people have been making videos & mocking me in this trial.” But I thought they weren’t supposed to look at SM/read about the trial?

Ooh very good point! I don't think they are meant to look at or read anything to do with the trial with them being witnesses. Or is that just the jury?

Midlifemusings · 26/05/2022 18:45

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

I am someone whose perspective shifted since Thread 1. Back then I was in the "it was a toxic relationship camp and they were both abusive to each other" camp. As I went deeper into all the court exhibits and recordings and documents and listened to the testimony, I stopped seeing it as just another toxic and unhealthy relationship. For many reasons, I simply no longer believe Amber. I am a woman but I do not have a solidarity / thin blue line approach, I am not part of the sisterhood or women always defend women. As a capable, competent woman who has agency and the ability to make decisions and take responsiblity, I will not act as though women can not do those things and can only live life under the thumb of men. I will not excuse bad behaviour because she is a woman, I will not deny the experience of male victims of any form of violence commited by women because I am a woman. I think we do women a disservice when we act as though they are incapable of wrong doing or when we twist clear lies to say well they are a woman so no matter what they say and do it, it must somehow be a man's fault and I will support them. I simply do not subscribe to that belief system. I realize that upsets posters on here who see any criticize of Amber and her crediblity a crime against women and we have posters clearly stating that they do not believe that men can be vicitms and that women are always the victims and men always the abusers. I do not condone others covering for the wrong doings of people within their ranks and I will not do the same just because we are women. I also do not feel guilty for having a view that isn't one of always believe and support all women. I do not believe Amber. You can be angry at that or feel women must always support women and you have a right to that opinion. I feel otherwise.

Midlifemusings · 26/05/2022 18:46

mummyrocks1 · 26/05/2022 18:19

Can't he? He said he wanted to humiliate her and destroy her. He had a meeting with his attorney and the Mail. I think he was behind the smear campaign against AH.

I am only on the rebuttal of AHs PD witness. I can't wait to get onto the next stuff.

Is it a smear campaign if she was lying?

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 26/05/2022 18:53

Midlifemusings · 26/05/2022 18:45

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

I am someone whose perspective shifted since Thread 1. Back then I was in the "it was a toxic relationship camp and they were both abusive to each other" camp. As I went deeper into all the court exhibits and recordings and documents and listened to the testimony, I stopped seeing it as just another toxic and unhealthy relationship. For many reasons, I simply no longer believe Amber. I am a woman but I do not have a solidarity / thin blue line approach, I am not part of the sisterhood or women always defend women. As a capable, competent woman who has agency and the ability to make decisions and take responsiblity, I will not act as though women can not do those things and can only live life under the thumb of men. I will not excuse bad behaviour because she is a woman, I will not deny the experience of male victims of any form of violence commited by women because I am a woman. I think we do women a disservice when we act as though they are incapable of wrong doing or when we twist clear lies to say well they are a woman so no matter what they say and do it, it must somehow be a man's fault and I will support them. I simply do not subscribe to that belief system. I realize that upsets posters on here who see any criticize of Amber and her crediblity a crime against women and we have posters clearly stating that they do not believe that men can be vicitms and that women are always the victims and men always the abusers. I do not condone others covering for the wrong doings of people within their ranks and I will not do the same just because we are women. I also do not feel guilty for having a view that isn't one of always believe and support all women. I do not believe Amber. You can be angry at that or feel women must always support women and you have a right to that opinion. I feel otherwise.

Are you responding to the wrong poster? You're attributing views to me that I have never expressed.

There's an odd tendency on these threads for posters to write a particular thing, and other posters to see entirely another.

Midlifemusings · 26/05/2022 18:57

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

I was responding to your points that the feeling of the thread changed and that is because people thought she wasn't a perfect victim and crying etc. For some of us that was irrelevant. And that those who don't support Amber are just projecting.

I wasn't responding to each of your points but to your overall view and disappointment and giving you an example of why I responded differently as the threads went on. The thoughts in my post are ones that have been expressed throughout the threads.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 26/05/2022 19:00

And that those who don't support Amber are just projecting.

I have said no such thing. Please read before responding.

TiddyTidTwo · 26/05/2022 19:00

To be fair mummy, she could've walked away with 7 million dollars and a career. He tried to explain to her. She had to do it. She had to lie and she's now a proven liar, with her allegations he had no choice. He was cancelled, she wasn't.

I'd want the record put straight too. Her allegations are abhorrent

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 26/05/2022 19:02

Now hiding this thread, as it's become thoroughly unedifying.

Midlifemusings · 26/05/2022 19:06

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 26/05/2022 19:02

Now hiding this thread, as it's become thoroughly unedifying.

Only reading threads to be edified is an interesting approach to a discussion board.

unctuousunicorns1 · 26/05/2022 19:07

I haven't made my judgment based on her reactions, I've made it based on the recordings. Unless she's avowing that they are fake, her own words damn her. In fact they damn her so completely that as I've said before, I can't understand how she can still purport to keep up the charade. I really do think that she's either genuinely deluded, or that there is some behind the scenes extortion that she can't escape from.

Cantbelieveiusedtowatchthiscrap · 26/05/2022 19:08

If she has made it up, why just why would she do all this? Utterly bizarre

RosieRooster83 · 26/05/2022 19:11

Does anyone get the feeling that she genuinely believes what she is saying it true? Almost like a delusion sort of thing.

unctuousunicorns1 · 26/05/2022 19:13

Like I said, either mental illness, or some person or people unseen is twisting her arm.

Midlifemusings · 26/05/2022 19:14

For some more lighthearted moments, I just came across this channel - some are pretty funny
https://www.youtube.com/c/geomfilms/videos

TiddyTidTwo · 26/05/2022 19:17

Yes Rosie I think this.

She needs intervention and quickly as she's the sole carer of a one year old child.

It's obvious the truth but the threats and mocking of her need to stop. If she's delusional it will only fuel her further.

TiddyTidTwo · 26/05/2022 19:18

Unc that's interesting. Who or why though?

Cantbelieveiusedtowatchthiscrap · 26/05/2022 19:19

@unctuousunicorns1 But who, and why?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.