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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend seems annoyed at me for this, feel bad

152 replies

Thebreeders · 24/05/2022 16:29

A friend works in the same industry as me. I was thinking of applying for a job where she works, apparently they needed somebody fairly quickly.
She said she'd put in a good word for me which I appreciated.
I managed to get an interview there which was supposed to be later this week.
My friend announced she'd written a reference for me which was incredibly nice of her, she was under no obligation to do so and I didn't expect her to at all.
In the end I decided not to go for the job. I felt I would be out of my depth, I haven't yet got the confidence to go for this role just yet.
I cancelled the interview with 72 hours notice.
I messaged my friend to say so, I felt nervous but assumed she'd understand I wasn't ready as it was a big step up and again I just didn't feel confident enough after consideration.
I'm hoping to reapply in a few months.
Anyway she read it and just sent a 'thumbs up' emoji, which is very much not like her, she normally writes very positive and sweet messages with smilies (i know that sounds a bit juvenile)
Haven't heard from her since.
I feel bad. I really appreciate that she wrote the reference, she must be annoyed but I don't really think I've done anything that wrong. I guess I didn't expect that reaction.

OP posts:
FirewomanSam · 24/05/2022 22:46

Johnnysgirl · 24/05/2022 22:44

Oh, right, so it's just a money saving exercise.

Yeah pretty much, at least it was where I worked. I don’t know about the other poster who mentioned referral schemes though, maybe they take a more serious recommendation and it would indeed make you look bad if your recommendation pulled out of an interview (though I still think that’s really unfair if so!)

saveforthat · 25/05/2022 17:02

Yes I've worked for a few companies with a referral scheme and there is no way it equates to giving a personal reference.

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