Friend seems annoyed at me for this, feel bad

[Thebreeders]

A friend works in the same industry as me. I was thinking of applying for a job where she works, apparently they needed somebody fairly quickly.
She said she'd put in a good word for me which I appreciated.
I managed to get an interview there which was supposed to be later this week.
My friend announced she'd written a reference for me which was incredibly nice of her, she was under no obligation to do so and I didn't expect her to at all.
In the end I decided not to go for the job. I felt I would be out of my depth, I haven't yet got the confidence to go for this role just yet.
I cancelled the interview with 72 hours notice.
I messaged my friend to say so, I felt nervous but assumed she'd understand I wasn't ready as it was a big step up and again I just didn't feel confident enough after consideration.
I'm hoping to reapply in a few months.
Anyway she read it and just sent a 'thumbs up' emoji, which is very much not like her, she normally writes very positive and sweet messages with smilies (i know that sounds a bit juvenile)
Haven't heard from her since.
I feel bad. I really appreciate that she wrote the reference, she must be annoyed but I don't really think I've done anything that wrong. I guess I didn't expect that reaction.

There are so many reasons people cancel interviews!

I’m going against the grain here but I don’t understand why she wrote you a reference if she wasn’t down as one of your referees, you hadn’t even had an interview yet, let alone a job offer? I’d see that as massively overstepping on her part, especially if she hadn’t told you she was going to do it. ‘Putting in a good word’ to me means that she might casually mention to the hiring manager ‘oh you’re interviewing someone I know next week, for what it’s worth I think they’d be a great fit?’ not writing a full-blown reference. I don’t think anywhere I’ve worked would accept an unsolicited reference, from a friend, before you’ve even had an interview anyway.

Your friend's message is exactly the kind of message I would send when busy. Acknowledging that you have received the message but no time to get into discussion. I would just wait and see. I think you may be overthinking this one.

Regarding the company, I doubt they'll be interested in a couple of months. I think that is unrealistic after this. Look elsewhere for a job.

You should have more faith in yourself. If your application got you past the shortlist and onto the interview list, presumably the company and/or recruitment agency thought you had got what the job takes. Realistically you had nothing to lose by going ahead with it.

Yes, and if they repay to the same place they will need to explain their reasons if they want to be considered seriously. In particular, the company will want some reassurance that if they are shortlisted again they won't cancel again.

Sorry, reapply, not repay.

I likely wouldn't even notice someone had applied and withdrew and reapplied. If I did, I would just figure something came up in their life or at their current position that made the timing of the application bad for them. Again, I would be thankful they didn't waste my time interviewing. Or even worse, interview, accept the position then decline after that.

Yeah, I think this is really weird and in fact, might reflect poorly on the OP if they believed she requested the reference. References from friends do not mean much.

Your friend is silly. She overstepped and knows it. The fact you pulled out is not her concern. If you didn’t ask her to ‘help’, you’ve done nothing wrong. She was probably trying to curry favour with her boss and now can’t!

It does reflect on her and the fact that you don't realise it demonstrates how immature you are. The fact that you are unwilling to accept what the vast majority of people are saying (despite having asked) without snarky responses confirms it.

It may be that she is just disappointed that you won't be working at her place of work after all - she might have got a bit excited to have a friend working there too!

As for the rest, don't worry about it. It's really not a problem to withdraw from a job interview, even if it had been with the company itself (it wasn't) and even if you had been earmarked for the job (doubtful) - you must do what is right for you, and if it didn't feel right, then you did the right thing by not wasting anyone's time further.

You ABU to come on AIBU ask if YABU and then when the majority say you are, argue with them.

You’ve posted on AIBU - got told yes but won’t accept it. If this is how you handle criticism the company have had a lucky escape as you’d be extremely difficult to train up.

That’s just unnecessarily nasty.

OP, FWIW I don’t think you’ve been unreasonable at all. Withdrawing from a job interview with 3 days’ notice is fine. Better than wasting everyone’s time with the interview when you already know you don’t want it! And you didn’t ask your friend for a reference, so while it was nice of her and she is entitled to be a bit disappointed, she has nothing be be angry with you about.

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Am I bovvered though? I ain't even bovvered! Don't tell me what to do, are you telling me what to do? Are you disrespecting me? Are you stupid? Why don't you shut up though? Shut up, then. I don't care though, I ain't bovvered!

Not commenting though, cause we'll... I'm sure you can guess why...

It’s very unreasonable of you to get a friend to go out of their way to help you at their workplace and then back out at very short notice, it would make her look bad and her reference look unreliable.

Face it, you have used up your good karma!

I don't understand the "apply again in a few months" thing. Are they constantly recruiting? .
How will you be any better qualified then than you are now?
You are very unreasonable and a complete time waster.

Everyone: Yabu

Op: no I'm not!

Hope you’re ok OP. If you were my friend I’d ask if you were ok and tell you not to worry.

And Jez started trying to MLM the interviewer 😂

That's an incredibly over the top reply.

Such much dramatics from OP and other posters. You decided to not go for an interview. No big deal. She gave you a thumbs up. No big deal. Ping her in a few days and see how she is.

Move away from creating a whole scenario in your head based on an emoji. It isn't healthy.

OP why did you post. You obviously don't want people's opinios so no point. We are telling you most of us would be annoyed. That's it. If you don't want to hear it don't post. Your comments as replies to people are rediculous.l I don't know why she's friends at all!

If i were your friend I'd be supremely pissed off (she put a word in for you, that is her reputation on the line) she wrote you a reference (they are not dashed off in 5 minutes - are you very young not to know that?)

In her shoes i'd be telling them, "sorry, apparently she's flakey, don't bother inviting her again"

The thing is that your name is now associated with your friend.

This is why you need to be careful when recommending someone to your employer, because they will be seen as “xx friend” by association. And if they turn out to be crap in any way that reputation is also tied to her.

TBH a lot of companies don’t accept applicants within a year of a previous application, in fact I even came across one the other day which stated “previous applicants need not apply,” which made it very clear they will only look at a candidate once, ever.