To think that they can’t be annoyed with me over this and should have checked with me first?

[NetflixMom21]

We have just bought a new house and family members who do decorating as a job are doing the renovation work in there.

In one room there is a feature wall and the rest of the walls painted. I said that I wanted a grey paint but because they hadn’t got round to that room yet I hadn’t specified what kind of grey that I wanted - they usually video call me when they are in the shops purchasing the stuff so I can choose what colours I want etc.

So I speak to them yesterday and they said they have started decorating this room and I questioned it because we hadn’t chosen the paint yet and they basically said they had already got the paint - without asking or letting me know. So I ask to see the paint because I didn’t want it too light because in my experience as soon as the kids knock the wall it marks.

They send me a photo of the paint and it’s completely the wrong shade - it looks more white than grey and the reviews on the website state it’s a really light colour too. I explain that the colour is wrong and I wished they had asked me first because now they will have to return it.

They are the ones now annoyed with me and say I’m being too picky and they are annoyed about having to go back to the shop, but my point is this is my house and they shouldn’t have just chosen for me without asking me first.

Who is being unreasonable here?

@Chilledchablis1 and the point of your post was?

It’s a Dulux paint, they haven’t put it on the walls yet thankfully but they aren’t happy about having to sort out another paint colour, and I don’t live in the area yet to be able to return it. My daughter has health issues which prevents her from being around the paint and decorating which is why it’s being done before we move in, so it can’t really be changed at a later date without causing a lot of fuss etc.

I would let it go. Your family are doing you a huge favour and a different shade is not such a huge thing. In my experience (a) at least one thing goes wrong in any decorating job no matter who does it and (b) colours look different when a room is finished and furnished anyway.

DH and I occasionally order the wrong thing when it's us doing it. Sometimes we decide to live with it because it's too much hassle to change.

It sounds as if your family are getting fed up though so maybe have a chat to them about how much more they're willing to do and whether it's time for a professional decorator to take over.

I feel with these family members they don’t respect people’s boundaries and there’s other things they’ve done

Don't take favours from people who don't respect boundaries. You can't have it both ways.

I was going to pay to get a company in, they said no they would do it.

Your mistake to agree. If you really prefer someone else to do it then you do have to be firm and ignore snide comments. Though you might have had a similar problem with a company, in my experience if you're not there to keep a close eye they'll occasionally do random stuff too.

And to be honest so far your family do sound very respectful. Three weeks 10-6 and they've fully consulted you on everything else and this is the first time they haven't. I wouldn't rely on a professional decorator to be that good! Your family might be offended if you try to pay, buying something nice for them sounds like the way to go.

If the paint hasn't been opened then they can take it back and get the correct colour. (Unless it was mixed in store). Maybe you were taking too long. Have you told them the colour you actually want by now?

@airrrrAIRRRRiELLLL I wasn’t taking too long, I wasn’t even aware they were ready to start that room or I would have sorted it asap, I’ve sorted it out now.

It’s a Dulux paint, they haven’t put it on the walls yet thankfully but they aren’t happy about having to sort out another paint colour, and I don’t live in the area yet to be able to return it.

So buy it online and have it delivered.

😂Gee Wizz, buy the paint you want.
Ignore the advice to make more effort, with any working relationship, especially in your home 100% communication and effort should be a given, paid or not.

Why do you need receipts when you can see online on B&Qs site or whatever how much it is? Why aren't you putting £x float/retainer in their account for supplies and top up if needed?

You say that they're painters and decorators - I wonder if the paint they're using is left over from a previous job (or a special offer) and they were hoping to use it up on your house. Either way, it's unfortunate that they're so miffed about it. It is your house after all, and you're the one who is going to have to look at the wall for the foreseeable.

@TibetanTerrah because that’s how we have decided to do it, plus that wasn’t the issue here was it?

Are you being snippy to everyone because you're anonymous or is this just your personality?

@TibetanTerrah no it’s because out of the whole thread you’ve chosen to comment on something that wasn’t an issue, or do you like creating problems when there isn’t one in real life too?

I think that answers your question @TibetanTerrah 😂😂😂

@NetflixMom21 Forgive me for only reading the thread once it had passed 100 posts, and most of what I would contribute had already been said. I was simply curious about the whole receipt thing. If this is a family member and you trust them, it seems really off - or odd? - of you to only pay them back for stuff they're buying for you when you get a receipt, when they've made the trip on their own time and their own fuel and you know exactly how much it'll cost anyway. Without the fact they're doing you a favour. Just seems a bit mean going simply by your posts and of course, snippy attitude. It was simply a question and you jumped on me for it.

Doing your own decorating is the answer, you have control and no arguments.

Why did you not plan everything before any of the decorating started? I would have every colour picked out before any painting started.

It has now been sorted so not responding anymore, thank you for everyone who was helpful on here 😊

Off you pop now and scrutinise all those receipts now! God forbid the person who has spend the past 3 weeks painting your gaff for free might diddle you out of a few pennies.

Remember...Life isn't black or white, it's all sorts of shades of grey :)

YABU for painting the room grey, it's a bit 2015

The OP didn't actually want her "gaff" painting for free. She was guilt tripped into it.

Ha ha ha ha I forgot that! Guilt tripped into saving herself thousands! Good one!

You sound rather unhinged. And bitter.

Nobody guilt trips other people into accepting a favour from them. There's literally no purpose to it.

No, there isn't a purpose. But it happens. It's about control. I've had it happen to me numerous times.

I don't think the OP's the one being snippy...

Ha ha good woman yerself!