WIBU to ask why people are so weird about cry it out?

[Worried675]

OK, I know already how this is going to go and what views about this are on Mumsnet, but my question I guess is why people are so against cry it out methods? Recent research showed no differences in babies' behaviour/happiness/attachment etc. between cry it out and other sleep training methods. I'm always surprised by how strongly people are against it, especially as anyone born in the 80s or before probably were trained that way.

Enlighten me! Is using cry it out unreasonable? Why/why not?

Best thing I ever did. DS was awake every 20 minutes for about 4 weeks. Every. Fucking Twenty Minutes. I would try everyrhing, fed him, rocked him, dummy, co sleeping, nothing worked. I didn't sleep for more than 20 minutes in a row for 4 weeks. That is torture.
I was literally going insane and couldn't be a safe or gentle mother in the day. I quite possibly would have accidentally neglected him as I was so tired I couldn't even speak. DH worked nights so wasn't about.i spent a week weaning him off night feeds (as I was a dummy) and DH rocked him to sleep instead when on days. He continued to wake up.
One night I physically couldn't get up to him (in our room) he cried for about 20 mins as I kept waking up but falling back asleep then slept through for 4 hours. The next night I decided to leave him. He cried for about 15-minute then slept through third night 5 minutes. After that unless he was ill he never woke up. Fucking amazing. I recovered from hell.
Never judge anyone.

@Thehop

Ah you don’t know the meaning of the word

@Bambi7

Yeah I think you just dont understand what ST is

So its maybe best you stop criticising parents for doing it

Its not neglectful or damaging or unsafe

Co sleeping on the other hand...

I will contribute to this discussion if I think it's necessary.

I do now understand ST and I will continue to give my opinion. I am giving my option to ST and not peoples individual experiences.

I have consistently said that if a parent is at the end of their tether then the risk of not ST outweighs the balance of having a breakdown and flying off the handle.

My DC was an appalling sleeper. He woke every 40 minutes. I didn't ST and that was my decision.

Dr Ferber has now revisited his ST advice and stipulates not to leave children crying. He did originally suggest they cry it out.

Could people honestly, genuinely think that leaving that baby in that situation was wrong??

Really?!?

Id love to hear how anyone could try and justify a viewpoint that what that woman did was wrong

@Bambi7

Youve made claims that are untrue.

There is no risk to st.

Yet you say you co slept which does carry risk

Wrong again 😆

I co sleep yes but I had one of those side cots that attaches to the bed. Co sleeping yes ✅ safe yes ✅

Let's agree to disagree. I stand by my opinion that letting a baby cry it out consistently will cause attachment issues and unnecessary stress for the baby.

If done a few times then it won't. It has to be a consistent pattern of behaviour to cause any harm.

@Bambi7

Side sleepers increase risk of entrapment

baby cry it out consistently will cause attachment issues and unnecessary stress for the baby.

Right. But that's neglect and not ST so is irrelevant to the thread.

Yet you keep saying st is neglect

We're not discussing co sleeping though are we @Topgub 😆 The side cot I purchased was extremely safe - I did a lot of research. The co sleeping I was talking about anyway was when my DC was older.

We are talking about cry it out - look at the title of the thread!!!!

Sleep training does incorporate various cry or out methods - they all seem to be different. I'm going with what's in the posters title.

Cry it out is a method of sleep training.

This has been explained to you multiple times

Neglecting your child by never responding to them is neglect. Not ST. And not called CIO

Hth

That poster didn’t say she used CIO, she said she used controlled crying which is different

Why do you keep pedalling this shit and saying you’re an expert on it when it’s clear you have absolutely no idea on what the various sleep training methods are?

It simply isn’t acceptable to tell a mother that she is teaching her baby that she cannot be depended upon just because you have misunderstood the term the poster used.

I tried it with my twins and honestly lasted less than hour. Everyone in the house upset - twins inconsolable. Switched to vanishing chair / pick up put down following evening and had much more success. Elder sibling became very upset with CIO as she couldn't understand why we weren't going in to the twins and she was distraught that they sounded so upset, twins were upset as each other was upset - big ole mess of an evening

@Pyri

That poster didn’t say she used CIO, she said she used controlled crying which is different

Why do you keep pedalling this shit and saying you’re an expert on it when it’s clear you have absolutely no idea on what the various sleep training methods are?

It simply isn’t acceptable to tell a mother that she is teaching her baby that she cannot be depended upon just because you have misunderstood the term the poster used.

Get your facts straight @Pyri . The poster came to me to argue her personal situation when I was talking about CIO in general and not her personal circumstances! All sleep training has some level of CIO and I'm saying I don't agree with it. End of. How dare you swear at me.

Lol.at taking offence at shit when you've said parents will damage their kids

🤣🤣

Absolute bull!!!!!

You are talking absolute nonsense 😂

I gave my opinion on CIO. I will continue to give my opinions if I see fit.

Nothing you say will make me go away.

@Bambi7

I'm not talking nonsense

Nor asking you to go away.

I will also keep giving my opinion that you are chatting shit.

I get really upset listening to other people’s babies crying in the supermarket etc. I could never leave a baby to cry. It’s cruel.

Everything you say is so uneducated. I guess that's why you have to swear 🥱

Don’t flatter yourself, I didn’t come to you with anything. You just decided to accuse me of teaching my child he couldn’t depend on me.

And I will gladly second this!

@Bambi7

If you were educated you would know that research shows people who swear have a larger vocabulary and are more intelligent than those who don't.

Fucking amazing eh?

@Palease I'd rather not have this conversation with you as you're not bringing anything to it about from being offended. You don't read anything properly and exaggerate things I've not even said!

Go to sleep you absolute bore.

Nope, I can read just fine thanks and that poster was talking about her own situation using controlled crying, it was you who then told her it was nonsense and she was teaching her child that she couldn’t be depended upon because that’s what CIO does.
You should really just admit that you didn’t read the OP properly and don’t know what these sleep training methods are rather than arguing that anyone who uses sleep training is someone neglectful / teaching their baby awful things

Some poor sleep deprived mother suffering from PND might actually believe your words which are based on you totally misunderstanding what posters are actually talking about

@Bambi7

Nope