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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What were you doing on November 13th 2020

666 replies

TeaAndChoccie · 23/05/2022 22:34

while the PM was partying.....?

OP posts:
Whatafustercluck · 24/05/2022 22:29

I was probably explaining to my then 3 and 9yo why they couldn't have friends or family over to celebrate their 4th and 10th birthdays. Which preceeded us telling them that they also couldn't see family at Christmas as we were in tier 4. My Dad had recently been diagnosed with prostrate cancer.

JennyWren87 · 24/05/2022 22:36

I was alone in hospital on what turned out to be Day 2 of my four day induction which ended in an emergency c-section.

Dashdotdotdash · 24/05/2022 23:34

SueSaid · 24/05/2022 07:14

Plenty of people will have been at work where groups of people will have been in the same room. Granted not with booze but as we know with Starmer booze was drank at work by politicians.

These pictures have been investigated. BJ wasn't fined. The sad stories about funerals are predictable but not actually relevant as the photos don't show him attending a funeral with 100 when we only were allowed 10, they were socially distended at work. No dancing or congas seen.

You do of course know perfectly well that funerals are highly relevant, and you know why.

Having drinks that were reasonably necessary for work purposes was of course absolutely fine. Having big leaving dos wasn't necessary for work, let alone knocking back champers and raising toasts, and summoning people with messages that "the bar's open". A couple of my colleagues left at the relevant time, we had no leaving do and just agreed to meet up in a pub once it was legal.

Dashdotdotdash · 24/05/2022 23:36

SueSaid · 24/05/2022 07:37

'And he categorically denied there had been any sort of gathering on 13th'

They were at work. If they thought they were breaking the law why on earth allow photos?!

I know it's hard, much like beers in Durham seem questionable but they were at work. Please dont let Paul Brand and itv whip you up so much.

I suspect they thought they were immune because the PM was there. Hence all th e reports of how very hacked off junior employees are at getting fines whilst he escapes.

Dashdotdotdash · 24/05/2022 23:42

How did Boris Johnson 'orchestrate the event' if they were not all working closely together? Surely you are contradicting yourself? With this -

"Interestingly, he orchestrated the event and encouraged those there to fill their glasses."

You have heard of emails, haven't you, @Clavinova? We know from the garden party that he didn't even have to go to the trouble of drafting and sending the email himself, he could just instruct someone else to send the invitation round.

itsnotmeitsu · 24/05/2022 23:46

I posted above that I lost my twin sister at a time when we weren't allowed to mix outside our 'bubble'. You couldn't go to your GP or dentist, and if your pet had to be put to sleep you had to deliver them to the vet and leave them with strangers. I was only allowed into the hospital to basically say 'goodbye' because they must have known my sister was only being kept alive by machinery. I only realised afterwards that the reason I'd been allowed that visit was because she was dying, because they didn't spell it out. If she could recognise me she would have seen her twin, who she hadn't seen in a long time, dressed not as me, but as someone alien in all the stuff they'd kitted me out in. Although at least that allowed me to see her. No last hold of the hand, or a last kiss. She didn't respond to my voice but I'm sure she knew I was there, so I'm thankful for that.

We'd spent our childhood sharing beds and, as adults, if we were on our own and having problems we'd share a bed. When she was dying I couldn't even touch her. What I didn't mention in my previous post was that my sister had been found unconscious in her flat by a neighbour who had a key. My sister was a vulnerable person due to mental health issues. I lived nearby but because the regulation at the time was no mixing of households I hadn't seen her for a few weeks, just talked on the phone. I'll never know if my sister had been aware of being in serious need of help but not able to summon help, and how long she may have been lying there terrified until she passed out. The thought of what happened in that period and how frightened she may have been haunts me.

So no, I don't find any of this ongoing outrage "tedious", and I'm not going to 'unclench' about it. And the idea that you were stupid for obeying the rules in place; I think the majority did do this because they were terrified into believing they and everyone around them was in danger if they didn't. As someone said, you could hardly storm hospitals, shouting out that you would do what you want because you were able to make up your own mind about the risks. The dentist or the doctor weren't going to be hanging around in their surgeries just in case a rebellious patient was going to charge in demanding to be seen to. The vet wasn't going to say, 'OK, we'll ignore all the rules we've been given and allow you to stay with your terrified dog as he's dying'.

Sorry this has turned into an essay. I just needed to unload. All the talk of how boring and trivial this is and how there are more important things to think about makes me think some people don't have an empathic bone in their body. Yes, I understand that many people haven't been affected in awful ways by what's happened in the previous two years, but many have. So at least have the courtesy not to call them tedious and petty, and tell them to move on because it was a so-called work gathering which the PM briefly joined.

Dashdotdotdash · 24/05/2022 23:47

Clavinova · 24/05/2022 13:12

Starmer had a dinner with people he was campaigning with whilst working. I have no idea why they lied about number of people that's just odd.

Very odd indeed -

order-order.com/2022/05/16/starmer-revises-count-up-from-6-to-15-attendees-at-beergate/

Barrister Adam Wagner acknowledges that Starmer and co didn't follow the guidance for pre-election constituency visits at the time - they should not have eaten (or worked together) inside if they were following the guidance. Whether they broke the law as well remains to be seen.

Not according to, um, Adam Wagner

www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/08/leaked-beergate-memo-could-clear-starmer-lawyer-believes

EcoCustard · 24/05/2022 23:54

Dc2’s 5th birthday no party, no friends, nothing. Pales in comparison to many others stories. I lost my business, was one of the excluded from Sunak’s schemes. DH ‘s business suffered massively. Furious, they set the rules and fed us the lines that terrified many. We walked headlong into another far stricter lockdown weeks later which excluded my children from education again. No keyworker status for us. All MP’s that continue to support him and his corrupt cabinet are complicit too, don’t call him out, complicit. Let’s not even start on his handling of Covid, Brexit, Afghanistan, Zbdolute shower all of them.

EcoCustard · 24/05/2022 23:55

*absolute

Quincythequince · 25/05/2022 03:33

Having a small party for my son as that’s his birthday.
He turned 13, I put up balloons and bought some nice Buffett food.
it was Limited to the five residents of this house - he and his brothers, me and DH.

Zonder · 25/05/2022 07:01

Thank you for posting that @itsnotmeitsu I can't imagine how painful that was. I'm so sorry some people (@JaniieJones ) are suggesting nobody cares what the government were doing then.

Brillig · 25/05/2022 07:08

@itsnotmeitsu I'm so very sorry that happened to you and your sister Flowers

Roussette · 25/05/2022 07:23

@itsnotmeitsu
I have read your post twice, how unbelievably sad. I cannot comprehend what you went through, not for one minute, you see, I am a twin too and I tried very hard to put myself in your position and it has hit home for me.

I just want you to know that the majority of the people do care, they care very much. We won't be moving un, unclenching, nor do we find it tedious. I got away quite lightly compared to some, but throughout this I just knew that daily others were going through hell losing their very dear ones in terrible ways. And that is why I (with less reason than some) am so very angry about the disdain that Johnson et al treated people like you with such blatant and abhorrent disregard for the laws they made.

IShouldBeWriting · 25/05/2022 07:56

My diary says that was the day Cummings resigned. That my daughter had a karate class over Zoom, in the living room. That I was at home with her that week, having spent the previous week caring for my sister who was undergoing chemotherapy. I remember travelling by train through deserted Clapham Junction station, on empty trains, change at deserted Reading station. The only people around were: heavily pregnant women, alone; teenage elite athletes, alone; railstaff; one or two essential workers like myself, alone; and one or two homeless looking men, alone and confused.
I remember sitting outside the cancer unit on the wall, socially distancing from all the other relatives. The people trying to work on their mobiles from outside the cancer unit, under umbrellas when it rained.
I remember the doctor coming out to find me, and asking me to come into the unit to be with my sister while they told her bad news, because it was so bad.

SueSaid · 25/05/2022 08:23

'I just want you to know that the majority of the people do care, they care very much'

I also care very much about people who lost loved ones, people who couldn't visit relatives etc. We all had a terrible 2 years.

The point is the restrictions were there for a reason, to reduce the spread of the virus however key workers would still need to go to work and would still interact with colleagues at work. Obviously some civil servants went to far and they have been fined. That does not mean the pm was having non stop parties and the media witch hunt regarding this is the tedious bit, not what people endured.

Roussette · 25/05/2022 08:24

There are such moving stories on here.

Ishouldbewriting Flowers

SueSaid · 25/05/2022 08:41

Oh ITV have finally decided to mention the tragic shooting in America where 19 children have horrifically been murdered. After they've gone on and on and on about 'sources' on panorama and whether the PM was at a party or not. Honestly our media are a disgrace.

GoodJanetBadJanet · 25/05/2022 08:53

The point is the restrictions were there for a reason, to reduce the spread of the virus
So why didn't the Govnmt care enough to follow them then, if they were really serious that they wanted to stop the spread?

Notonthestairs · 25/05/2022 08:56

I am so sorry for what happened to your sister ishouldbewriting. Flowers

Partygate exists because of the PM. Not because of the media or Labour or anyone else. He ignored the law and then spent months covering it up. He's still obfuscating. It's all on him.

SueSaid · 25/05/2022 08:57

'So why didn't the Govnmt care enough to follow them then, if they were really serious that they wanted to stop the spread?'

Did they visit relatives in care homes, go to funerals, go on holidays, go to the pub? No. They went to work. Where there does seem to be a boozing culture as we've also seen at Durham. They need to have a tee total workplace, I believe BJ is making reforms.

Maggiethecat · 25/05/2022 08:59

Here we go, blame it on the media.

The PM is the disgrace!

SueSaid · 25/05/2022 09:14

'Here we go, blame it on the media.'

19 dc murdered yet the media leading on unnamed anonymous sources on panorama regarding 'partygate', voices altered the lot. They could be Cummings in a wig for all we know. If the BBC and their guests want to be credible they should be transparent. Fortunately we have a police force who have actually seen the evidence and footage and have issued fines to civil servants. I wonder if one of these disgruntled sources on panorama recieved one..

Zonder · 25/05/2022 09:15

Oh Nadine @JaniieJones you're so sweet in your unswerving devotion.

Roussette · 25/05/2022 09:17

SueSaid · 25/05/2022 08:57

'So why didn't the Govnmt care enough to follow them then, if they were really serious that they wanted to stop the spread?'

Did they visit relatives in care homes, go to funerals, go on holidays, go to the pub? No. They went to work. Where there does seem to be a boozing culture as we've also seen at Durham. They need to have a tee total workplace, I believe BJ is making reforms.

So you don't blame them at all then. They were just at work and Durham beer beer beer. What on earth have funerals and care homes got to do with Johnson and his staff breaking the law? What a sad lack of empathy from you.

You seem to have missed the fact that the Durham incident has not yet been shown to be illegal by the Police. Why bring it up if it isn't illegal when you post? Why talk about Durham like it's the Northern No.10 party central? That is just laughable given what we've seen these last few days.

We are talking about 126 FPN's, Wine Time Fridays with a standing invitation to get bladdered every week at 4pm whatever the lockdown rules were, people rammed in a room drinking and up close and personal, and good old Johnson popping in to pour the drinks and socialise and be a party animal.

And you talk of one incident under investigation for the labour party. It makes you look ridiculous.

Of course BJ is making reforms lol. He has to tick the bingo card of 'lessons have been learned' and 'we made mistakes' and all that crap.

SueSaid · 25/05/2022 09:24

'What on earth have funerals and care homes got to do with Johnson and his staff breaking the law?'

Well because lots of people on other threads have said they couldn't visit relatives in care homes and I'm pointing out neither did any politician, so comparisons aren't relevant. They went to work. Durham beer beer beer indeed. It's a culture that needs changing I agree.

I'm sorry for those of us who lost relatives, who struggled, who had mh problems, whose kids struggled. It was a pandemic however and very sadly these things were unavoidable.

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