I’ll be too old, won’t I?

[Cantbelieveiusedtowatchthiscrap]

I’m 44 with a 4 year old Dd. Pregnant at 39 after 9 long years ttc and losses etc.
We have one frozen embryo left, frozen from when I was 39. I need to decide what to do. Not that it’s any guarantee it would work.
I’d love to have another child and would love Dd to have a sibling.
My age is literally the only thing standing in the way.
Seems so cruel, even if I was 5 years younger, I’d feel a bit differently.

What would you do?

*Soon to be 4 year old Dd

If you don't you might always wonder. People usually regret what they don't do

As pp, have no regrets.
My friends parents had her at 45 by IVF also.
She had a great childhood and feels/knows no different.

Do it 44 is not too old. I work as a midwife, on my last shift I cared for a 40 year old with an IVF baby. She too has other embryos she intends to implant.
Don't let anyone put you off. Goodluck.

A friend of a dd had her 2nd at 45. All fine.

You're not too old if you don't feel too old! Simple statement but it's all relative to your situation.
I am 38 and would be horrified at the thought of another child. But, I was a teenage parent and my child is now an adult. Had I had my first at this age or later then of course I'd feel differently.

Without wanting to come across as sounding rude, the fact you had a child at a slighter older age, it makes sense to me that you would try for another because if nothing else there will be sibling support and family when you're no longer here.
(I'm one of 5 and I know that the sibling support will be mega important once our parents are no longer here).

If you're going to do it, do it now.
You're old, but not too old and if you don't at least try you'll always think "what if".

What would I do?
I'd go for it. Totally.

Honestly I'd try, and I'm 44 with teenagers. The only downside is the potential upset and trauma if you have a miscarriage but only you can know how that would affect you. Several members of my family had babies at a similar age

I don’t think this is just an age question. It’s the emotions around what I imagine to be a difficult process. If you feel you can handle that, whatever the outcome, whilst also focusing on the one you have now, go for it.

Personally as long as I could afford another child I would 💯 do it. It would always bug me not knowing if it worked or not. Don’t worry about the age thing. You don’t want to regret not trying it in 10 years time

My Mum had me after a natural conception at 41. She was very active and looked after her health. My GPs were in their 60's, but still provided childcare and I have lovely memories of them. At 70 my Mum was still happy to babysit for me and worked until she was 75. Her energy was amazing. So consider everything about your particular situation and don't write yourself off. It does also depend on how you think you would cope with a loss, which could be in late pregnancy.

Are you more likely to suffer a loss the older you are in body, even though the embryo is from age 39 though @Ponoka7 ?

All very well everybody saying "Go for it" but as an older mum myself, (36 when he was born), age catches up with you and by the time he is 15, 20, 30 you just don't have the energy any more, especially with work commitments, parents who need taking care of, housing stuff happening, change in money circumstances, whatever.

Life throws curve balls. You will never know what's around the corner.

Anyway, just my 2 cents. Oh, and as an only, he hasn't suffered from lack of siblings.
I know a guy who is no-contact with his sibling. His friends are his family.

Do it 🥰

@Iflyaway Gosh, I don’t see 36 as older at all…

Honestly only you know how old you are 'for your age' I hear women in their 30's complaining of exhaustion, joint pain, feeling old and I can't relate at all. Some people just age faster, maybe it's lifestyle but plenty of older mums are perfectly capable of parenting babies, children and teenagers

I am 44 and have been ttc for a year now so I would say definitely go for it as I think you would always wonder what if?

And yeah lol at 36 being older, most of my friends hadn't even considered having babies until their late 30's 😆

@Iflyaway I had ds at 34.5, dd at nearly 38. I went back.to work at 43. Am now nearly 62. I have to pace more but life is good and I always had enough energy for the dc and work.

@Cantbelieveiusedtowatchthiscrap

No. 36 is not old at all. In fact for me the best age to become a mum. Also had to do with WHO you would want a child with of course. .... 😊

@GreyTS I know 🤷🏻‍♀️I have lots of friends around that age having their first or second. I only thought I was a *Little bit older conceiving her at 39, but me being 40 when I had her.

I would go for it, and I wish you all the very very best 💐 x

If it were me, I'd have to try.
Best of luck with everything.

My mum had me at 45 and I've had a lovely life. Both her and my dad (49 when I was born) say that I kept them young and even now in their 80s they enjoy my young children and they have a lovely fun relationship.