I’ll be too old, won’t I?

[Cantbelieveiusedtowatchthiscrap]

I’m 44 with a 4 year old Dd. Pregnant at 39 after 9 long years ttc and losses etc.
We have one frozen embryo left, frozen from when I was 39. I need to decide what to do. Not that it’s any guarantee it would work.
I’d love to have another child and would love Dd to have a sibling.
My age is literally the only thing standing in the way.
Seems so cruel, even if I was 5 years younger, I’d feel a bit differently.

What would you do?

Not in a million years would I be having a baby at 45. JMO.

@PurpleButterflyWings Why’s that then and what’s JMO?

Me neither @PurpleButterflyWings 😱

45 is not young and the thought of still being tied to a young(ish) child when you're nearly 60...? No way.

I'm 45 and am now having issues with parents and in laws who have gone from fighting fit to one health issue after another and these are people in their early 70's. Life can turn stressful overnight and I'm so thankful my kids can look after themselves as we have to see our own parents more often.

@MrsJBaptiste Great that you were obviously able to have your kids younger! You’re able to make that decision, not everyone is

Which is lovely if you can choose it but if you hadn't have conceived when you did, the idea of being "tied" to children in your 60s might feel very different

OP any signs of peri menopause yet? I wouldn’t want to be dealing with peri / baby / toddler at the same time. If you think you’ve likely got 10 years till menopause then less of a concern.

@minipie Not yet, but yeah, it’s a stupid idea, if only things had worked out differently

You are 44. Not 54. Plenty of people have had kids at this age and all fine.

just do it. X

No, I’m not saying it’s a stupid idea OP. Just saying it’s a factor to consider.

I got pregnant naturally at 44, sadly I lost her at 16 weeks but if I hadn't I would have loved another child, I was 38 when ds was born. I know a lady who was 49 & thought she was in the menopause but was actually pregnant, her first two children were at University. She sailed through her pregnancy, had an easy birth & afterwards decided to take redundancy from work, she had gone back to work with her first two but was able to be at home & do the school run when her dd started school, her dd is 19 now & at University. The lady & her husband are always out & about, they go cycling, have a caravan, go walking & boating, she says getting pregnant at 49 has kept her young & they have done so many things they wouldn't have done if they hadn't had her, they wouldn't have thought of finishing work & would have worked to retiring age.

I was 37 when I got pregnant with ds, exh was 42, our ages never got mentioned at ante natal appointments or when I had ds in hospital.

My fertility consultant says not - unless maybe you have developed immune issues. Your embryo is a 39 year old’s embryo.

OP has a 4 year old already, so she's just at the beginning of her parenting journey. You probably feel differently if you're the same age but have already been parenting for 20 years.

I personally wouldn't. A colleague had her first 2 in her late twenties and her third in her late 40s. She is always saying how much harder it is. She is just exhausted all the time. Although it's clear she loves her child, it's also clear she regrets having him so late.

It's the older kids that make the difference. I had all mine in my 39s so I just accept being tired is part of having young kids. I don't have thr experiences that if you have kids in your twenties you don't feel the effects of sleep deprivation and constantly active toddlers

Hear hear

I have five kids - first born when I was 28, my youngest born three months ago, and I am 41. I felt better in my most recent pregnancy than when I was 28, hundred percent.
would I have another baby in three or four years? Absolutely.
as for not knowing what is round the corner - we never do!! Family is amazing and personally I think siblings are a huge blessing to each other. My own siblings have very mixed reactions to my large family (I am one of six, so plenty siblings)! We are all very different people - but we do still are about each other all these years out. I want my own kids to be even closer than we were - and simply loving having them is a good start. All the best! X

I would do it. 😊

This was posted in May, does no one check the dates before posting? It was very obvious in the OP

I always fall for the zombie threads...🤦‍♀️