To lie to the midwives/health visitors about sleeping arrangements

[Butitssafe]

My fourth is a week old. Not my first rodeo.
I’ve done all my research and was really pleased that recent advice (ie lullaby trust et al) has changed in terms of not completely de-crying cosleeping and sharing ways in which to do
so safely.
I have decided to sleep with my baby in my bed at night following all this guidance.
However, I know trusts are slow to update policy/change culture etc and I’ve been asked so often about how she is sleeping and been told sharply so many times they ‘can’t recommend and don’t advise’ cosleeping that I decided, before she was born, that I was going to fib and tell them she goes down in her Moses basket (she has one for daytime naps etc) and that’s what I’ve been doing.
aibu?

@roarfeckingroarr

I had a baby.

He screamed blue murder when he was put down. I still didn't bed share

He's no longer a baby.

I’m guessing you’d forbid your child from ever going on a trampoline for example?

One in 200 trampoline accidents will lead to a child suffering permanent neurological damage. At 13,000 injuries every year, around 65 children in the UK will be left with a serious injury that will permanently affect their lives and the lives of their families.

What annoys you, as you say, is people not “admitting” that co sleeping is “not safe”.

almost a bloody minded determination for mothers to admit that they are recklessly risking their baby whilst you never would

whereas in reality you would never take on that particular risk but you would take on many many more risks that hold a far far greater likelihood of death or injury.

basically - you are cherry picking your risks and criticising those that don’t share what you cherry pick

People on mumsnet really don't like being argued with huh?

🤣

@Holskey your HV sounds horrendous, I take it back, I think I would have done the same thing in those circumstances.

You saying that you wouldn’t push the issue of your daughter decides to co sleep…. I think is highly unlikely!

The reality is… she would lie to you

Says the ouster who says she’s “annoyed” at people not “admitting” that she is right that co sleeping is “NOT SAFE”!!!

@Intrigueddotcom

Not a fan of trampolines, no. We dont have one but I wouldnt ban one.

I accept the risk.

Fun v risk of broken ankle, risk benefit analysis

There is no benefit (to me) of bedsharing.

Others make a different risk assessment.

But to do so you have to acknowledge the risk

Acknowledge the risk. Yes.

But as you say you “weigh it up”

and many weigh up the risk of co sleeping with the risk of hardly being able to function as so sleep deprived (and many have other children to care for and drive to school etc)

@Intrigueddotcom

You seem pretty hung op on my dd. Bit odd.

I dont know what an ouster is but I like the arguing. Its funny watching people get so defensive

I wish I had done this with my 2nd 7 years ago it would have saved me from 3 months of sleepless nights.

@Intrigueddotcom

They do. While ignoring the other solutions to being sleep deprived.

Or they just deny the risk all together because its so natural

Like sleeping on in a centrally heated concrete box on a big soft pillow with fluffy duvets is natural

🤣🤣

I used to place my babies on a large feather pillow to stop them rolling off bed or me lying on top of them. A bit like a baby nest. All slept with me! I never had a 'midwife' except in hospital nor did I have a so called health visitor. Not since my first who had the HV come and first thing she did was to give my little on e her bunch if car/house keys which subsequently was out straight in the mouth by my little one!! HV delighted?? at the reflex??? and I was absolutely mortified thinking how many mouths had had those keys in them! Never again. Also had a Next 2me bed with my youngest. Those are great!

Unexpected laughing emojis when talking about babies suffocating

but whatever floats your boat

I know what you mean about HV and co-sleeping I just said "she has a Moses basket yes" which was true she did (she just didn't sleep in it) I had a breastfeeding support group and this really nice grandmother who breastfed and co-slept with all 4 of her kids showed me how to breast feed lying down (so much easier) and get so more sleep, She came to my house and popped on the bed to show me and everything, I'm forever grateful for her help. I was given a lot of good information about safe co sleeping and ticked all the boxes before doing it. Worked out brilliant for me as it was the only way I managed to breastfeed long term and get lots of sleep to.

Op

Don’t lie
own it
I did
and the HV didn’t blink.

@Topgub I also had babies who screamed endlessly if they were put down. I swear they could sense they were in the cot. They roared the instant they touched it.

I co-slept. All five survived.

I also survived. I managed to function throughout the day. I drove the car without incident. I shopped and cooked and did laundry. I kept track of everyone's schedules.

The human race survived to this point while co-sleeping, and so it was for my family.

Perhaps you should start a thread @Topgub about these “sleep solutions” you have mentioned a few times?

Why do you see it as patronising time wasting? Midwives and HV have a responsibility to ensure women know how to co sleep safely. It’s better to be honest and say you co sleep and get good advice than lie and potentially not be following the safe sleep advice.
Yes you may be well informed and that’s fab but it’s literally the midwives and HV job to discuss it.

While ignoring the other solutions to being sleep deprived.

Hilarious that you think there are 'other solutions' to being sleep deprived.

The solution is <drumroll.....>

Sleep!

@Intrigueddotcom

Making stuff up to try to point score? Crack on.

@mathanxiety

Yeah I did all that and didn't bed share

Good for you?

@mathanxiety

Exactly

And yet most research shows women who bedshare get the least amount of sleep.

Funny that

Please please please share your “sleep solutions” @Topgub

or are they….. secret?!

Was there an age group for the babies because I'm not sure about that, I've read the opposite. Maybe for children age 1-2, parents get more sleep by moving them elsewhere.

When my DC1 was tiny, I fell asleep on the sofa and was a zombie. I fell asleep feeding and began coalescing by accident.

I can't see how having a baby right next to you, without having to even wake up, cuddling them warm can mean less sleep. Definitely not by any significant amount of true.

You have mentioned these “sleep solutions” repeatedly

don’t keep us hanging @Topgub !