To think I should get a lie in at the weekends?

[TATT22]

I’m the one who deals with night wakings plus have to be up much earlier than DH in the week so to my mind the weekend is the only time I can catch up on a bit of sleep - or AIBU?

@runnerblade95 i promise I am not being rude but have you ever expressed? It’s really, REALLY hard work.

And sorry but yes, it is a good enough reason because DC is a baby and can’t be reasoned with or explained to.

Oh don’t come out this ridiculous shite!

Does he go out in winter clothes in summer himself? No.

So let him get her ready. Every time he puts her in something unsuitable (and I only mean actually unsuitable, not just not what you’d have chosen) then read him the fucking riot act. Ditto nappies.

You are being a martyr and choosing to let him get away with quite deliberately doing it wrong.

Are you still having sex with him? My vagina is clamping just reading this.

@Testina thus making a fuck of extra work for myself.

so no, sorry - in the real world I have to deal with what I have.

Your DH sounds extremely lazy and unsupportive

No offence taken. Because yes, I have expressed. With only one breast as the other didn’t work due to a piercing I had years ago. So trust me. I understand better than you may think.

However, not being able to express doesn’t change the fact that DH can bring the baby in to you and place baby on your breast. What’s the reason he can’t do that?

Honestly, it sounds like your DH is just lazy and because he knows you will do it because ultimately you have no choice, that will never change unless you push for it to change.

And sorry but no, it is not a good enough reason for the exact reason that a baby can’t (and shouldn’t) be “reasoned” with.

And as pp said, DC probably isn’t used to DH coming in, hence why DC cries.

Some food for thought. Hope you manage to come to a better arrangement. You really shouldn’t be doing all the hard work.

He is lazy. He clearly sees you as the parent and is happy to let you run yourself ragged. It won't change unless you make it change. If he refuses to change I would consider whether you want to do all the parenting for the next 18 years because he won't.

Yeah he could do that … but it’s not really making any difference. It isn’t actually getting me any more sleep

Have you actually spoken to him about getting more sleep? Asked him if you can lie in? Could you go back to bed now?

@Testina

My vagina is clamping just reading this.

😂😂

TATT22 · Today 09:48
@runnerblade95 i promise I am not being rude but have you ever expressed? It’s really, REALLY hard work.

And sorry but yes, it is a good enough reason because DC is a baby and can’t be reasoned with or explained to.“

i expressed with both of mine and my husband took alternate nights/mornings when he was home (worked away for long stretches).
it is quite hard initially but gets better and is a lot less difficult than being exhausted.
your baby is upset because he never goes in. That needs to change.

these aren’t insurmountable obstacles. Things will be very different in a month if you change routine now.

Your not helping yourself though. If you work on the premise he won’t be able to do things then he won’t. He needs to help and you need to stop stopping that.

surely one of you can pack the nursery bag the night before so it’s ready to grab and go. He can then get her ready while you get ready.

Stop breastfeeding feeding, sleep train the kid and stop allowing your oh to pretend he is incompetent

😆😆😆😆

Given that you are doing all night wakings then DH should give you a lie in on both weekends mornings

I used to fall asleep breastfeeding all the time. I assure you, it is possible to fall asleep breastfeeding.

I don't understand how needing sleep like any other animal on the earth can mean "lazy".

Surely you aren't forcing yourself to sleep?

Why are some men completely incapable of taking care of their own DC? Or at least pretend like they are. Off to nursery with no nappies, or season inappropriate clothes, seriously? Is that a joke?

What would happen if you were hospitalised or away for a few days? He would have to manage. He's taking advantage of you.

But I agree with others he needs to start doing nursery bag on some days. The nursery bag is a red herring anyway. If you’re doing all night wake ups you should get a lie in both weekend mornings

Oh come onnnn stop enabling the learned incompetence. He NEEDS to learn how to take care of his child, it’s just not sustainable in the long term for you to run yourself into the ground trying to do everything.

If you both work then everything should be 50/50 and then you get one weekend lie in each. Anything else would be unacceptable for me

You should get to lie in. You must be exhausted. I’d be so grumpy.

That’s great for you. I have never once fallen asleep breastfeeding. Have EBF two children to 6 months. I co-slept as well. So not everyone can fall asleep breastfeeding

And getting to that point doubles my workload. And I just can’t. I have nothing left to give tbh. I can’t function on any less sleep (including getting up earlier to sort nursery bags out) than I currently am having.

How is getting up to be ready to start work at 8.30 (so getting up approx 7.30?) a lie-in? I don't suppose OP is planning to get up at 7.30 on her lie-in day(s).

Personally, I think lie-ins should be one each, BUT I think that OP's DH should be getting up a bit earlier during the week and helping with the weekday morning prep.

Have you told him though OP? Does he know how exhausted you are? Have you told him how useless he is?