The cost of childcare make working difficult!

[Istherehopeforme]

Currently work part time and children go to daycare - 80% of my salary goes on this bill
so very little “ take home pay”. I enjoy my work and need to keep my professional registration up so wouldn’t consider not working despite the lack of financial benefit!
An opportunity in my team has come
up to be full time and as much as I think I’d actually not mind working full time the sums just don’t add up- with full
time daycare rates for one toddler and after schools for older child ( plus full daycare rate for one child in summer rather than after school rate) I’d be taking home £350 a month ! Actually slightly worse off than now .
I mentioned this to a friend today in passing that I was disappointed that will realistically be years before I can advance in work and she went off on one about how I knew I’d need daycare when I planned children, it’s just to be expected and accepted and basically shut me down.
I found this rude considering she and her husband earn double what my household does and her child attends a heavily subsidised daycare due to the area they live in.
Aibu I being unreasonable to be upset at how difficult it is being a working parent ?

We use tax free childcare , have no family option to help, there are no childminders in the area with availability currently so can’t reduce the childcare costs. My partner earns more than me so not worth him reducing hours .

Oh really so if they can not afford them would you like to subsidise this for them ?

Oh piss off with these comments. Children should bot be a luxury for only the rich.
I agree but children should be brought into this world if parents can afford them .. it's not a case of being rich but financially dependent should be the minimum

And what is your definition of that exactly? Because divorce happens. I could easily afford a child when I was married to my ex husband, but now we are divorced I rely on tax credits as I am a low earner. Should people only have children if they can support them on one wage only? Because to work and pay for childcare without any help from benefits as a single person you'd need to be earning about £40k minimum, and that's with just one child.

Not sure if I've missed it, but can you not claim working tax credit and child tax credit. X

Suppose it's worth looking at will going full time enhance your career prospects? Will your pension be significantly better with larger contributions?

Childcare should be a joint bill though not something that is just covered by your wage.

@Bedsheets4knickers
"Oh really so if they can not afford them would you like to subsidise this for them ?"

Yes!!!!! Just like free health care - how the hell do you think that is paid for?

a skilled female workforce is vital for our economy. If women want to work and put their child in nursery the state should be doing all it can to make that a financially viable choice. It is failing miserably at this right now

@Fairisleflora

Isnit though? Why is it a good thing to have children in nursery every day and why should the government just do that? There’s more to life than being working machines.

@allboysherebutme there are no tax credits anymore, it's UC and if the OP is a nurse (as I suspect but could be wrong) she probably won't qualify. I worked three days a week as a dental receptionist and my OH works as a shop assistant full time and we didn't qualify. It's an awful system where you have to submit your childcare costs monthly (every month) and hope that you qualify. If you do a days overtime or it's a long month where you work five Tuesdays not four then you don't get paid. We ended up owing £2000 because we used to get paid it and then further down the line they told us that we actually didn't qualify so had to pay six months of payments back.

Childcare is incredibly expensive and will start to drive more people (well women) out of the workplace especially in sectors with a pay freeze.

i can just about manage everything at the moment with my current job. I went for a job that would have been brilliant for my career but high stress and longer hours. I realised nursery wouldn’t cut it and would have needed to get a nanny instead of our 4 days of nursery. We’d have lost out massively financially in the short term for a more stressful life and I was very relieved I didn’t get it.

Try thinking long term - when I first returned from mat leave with the youngest there was very little of my part time salary left after nursery fees for two but then the free hours kicked in then school with just the cost of tea time club. It wasn't easy for a year or two.

I would also say the ‘free hours’ are a complete con. A day with the max of 6 funded hours my nursery allows is still £45. Over august I’ll be paying £80 a day while also covering holiday camps at £40- £50 a day for my eldest. To even break even you’d need to be getting £20 an hour after tax and deductions. It’s easy to see why people compare that with one salary and question whether it’s worth it.

Tamzo85
It sounds like you think only men should work.
If you look at the data on women in the labour market you will see that women are significantly over represented in education, health and care work.
So if women weren't able to use childcare who would educate our children, look after us when we're sick are care for our elderly population?

The PP was right. Society benefits from a diverse, skilled workforce and that should include women. A highly educated and skilled a population pays more taxes, is healthier, has a lower crime rate and is less reliant on the welfare system.

To the poster who said they don't know anywhere where the nursery fee is 1.5k, mine is 1.7.

Tee20x Completely agree. If I was full time with a 2 year old at mine it would be £1700 a month. I’m not quite so sure why the previous poster was so convinced nursery wouldn’t be more than £1000 a month when being dismissive of the expense.

In august when there are no free hours I’ll be paying £1400 for the 4 days a week (18 days) as no free hours during holidays. We won’t even be there for half of it as taking holiday to coincide with school holidays for eldest one.

We are a high earning household so can suck it up but it isn’t a good situation where people are being priced out of the workplace and I think there should be better subsidiaries within the early years sector. I’ve had quite open conversations with younger colleagues who have asked about cost of childcare. It worries them massively as many who are 10 years behind me are really struggling to save a deposit, can’t see a time when they’ll pay off student loans and just can’t see how they’d afford nursery.

@brookstar that's exactly what @Tamzo85 thinks. She appeared on the thread the other day about something similar. She was the one who said her husband won't leave her because he's retired and they've been married 40 years so she doesn't need to worry.

She has 3 daughters who are SAHM's and that's fine too, apparently. I don't know what happens if their husbands ever get sick or made redundant.

This is so hard OP and I really feel for you.

I am in a situation where I work FT and it is going to cost me £1920 per month for nursery/wraparound care for my kids until my DS qualifies for 30hours in Sept2023.

This is going to leave us with such a measly disposable after we have also paid mortgage/utilities/food shop/insurance/pension/car etc etc.

We are lucky enough to be in a position where my partner and I earn ~£100k p/y between us, and still are going to be left with about £80 after all bills are paid each month. I can't even imagine how impossible it is for those who earn the national average.

“If you can’t afford to have children then don’t” is not a helpful comment to someone who has already had them. 🧐😂

there will be many people right now who could afford to have children before they had them but the cost of everything has gone up so much that what was affordable 6 months ago feels like a real struggle now. My nursery fees have gone up a whopping 10% this year on top of everything else and tipped me into a situation where I’m better off part time working and I didn’t foresee that happening, for example.

Also, everyone has the right to feel disappointed at the sacrifices that we have to make as parents. It doesn’t mean we were naïve in having kids or that we somehow didn’t know what we were getting into. It’s OK to miss our old life at the same time as loving our kids and the new life they bring.
There are so many things I miss. I miss going for nice dinners with the hubby. I knew I would have to sacrifice that when we had children and I did it anyway. But I still miss it sometimes. I don’t think it means I have made bad choices.

I don’t think the ‘don’t have kids if you can’t afford them’ is helpful. I don’t think it is a functioning society if people can’t afford childcare unless they’re household is earning £80k plus. It just isn’t a good thing for the female workforce at all.