The cost of childcare make working difficult!

[Istherehopeforme]

Currently work part time and children go to daycare - 80% of my salary goes on this bill
so very little “ take home pay”. I enjoy my work and need to keep my professional registration up so wouldn’t consider not working despite the lack of financial benefit!
An opportunity in my team has come
up to be full time and as much as I think I’d actually not mind working full time the sums just don’t add up- with full
time daycare rates for one toddler and after schools for older child ( plus full daycare rate for one child in summer rather than after school rate) I’d be taking home £350 a month ! Actually slightly worse off than now .
I mentioned this to a friend today in passing that I was disappointed that will realistically be years before I can advance in work and she went off on one about how I knew I’d need daycare when I planned children, it’s just to be expected and accepted and basically shut me down.
I found this rude considering she and her husband earn double what my household does and her child attends a heavily subsidised daycare due to the area they live in.
Aibu I being unreasonable to be upset at how difficult it is being a working parent ?

We use tax free childcare , have no family option to help, there are no childminders in the area with availability currently so can’t reduce the childcare costs. My partner earns more than me so not worth him reducing hours .

Mind you, reading the comments on this thread you can see why things are as bad as they are here. Fuck single mothers! What’s wrong with childcare fees eating an entire salary! So what if not subsidizing childcare fucks over women more than men! So what is so many women men end up excluded from the workolace! So what if low-income women are totally fucked! They should never have had kids in the first place!

so what if other countries have subsidized childcare as an active policy to create equality, keep women participating in the economy, reaping future tax revenue benefits for the state from women’s earnings and greater career progression, and enabling women to be as financially independent as men are! Just cos foreigners do that, we don’t want all that here!

Standing ovation

You might be only bringing home £350 a month but you’ll be getting better pension in the long run too. Is there any chance of working fewer hours than full time (either over the week, or over the year in the role)? For example if you worked a 0.9 week in four days, you’d save a day of childcare?

it is only a short time. I sort of have a different view in that because it’s only a short time I’d prefer to work part time for that time - but I work four days a week and have had two new jobs at that level over the past ten years, which has been lucky.

I'd go for it you never know if your husband will get incapacitated somehow.

@octagonspoon 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I had a couple of years where I made very little and worked P/T. I found 2 days a week gave me the best income.
Pointless going full/time if you won't make any more money.
It's only for a few years if you have two.
Incidentally, I had 3 children and it really wasn't worth working at all, so I just had a career break for a bit.

@octagonspoon

I don’t believe I should have to pay to subsidise people not to see their children. If you want to have children, you should factor this in - thinking everything is all about “career progression” is more of a problem than childcare fees in my opinion.

And yea you shouldn’t have kids if you can’t afford them. And if you do have them and then can’t afford the exact lifestyle you want without non existent free childcare - you really should have thought of that before hand.

Is downsizing or relocating an option OP? We were in a similar situation 18 years ago when I fell pregnant accidentally. We lived about 400 miles away from family. We struggled for a few months, both financially and emotionally, then, after a lot of thought, we moved closer to my family. DS was about 10 months when we moved. We downsized significantly, tried to work opposite shifts as much as possible and my parents were nearby to help out when our shifts clashed. We barely saw each other, mind you and my DH's career took a nosedive. All worked out well in the end though and we are now in a bigger house again.

I realise this is not possible for everyone and that we were lucky to have these options.

Because they're not actually working out the cost of childcare, they're working out the marginal cost of them not working on the assumption that they would continue to do so. OP would only be £350 a month better off not working - which doesn't actually mean she can't afford to work, in the sense that some people can't because childcare costs more than they bring home. It means she thinks working isn't worthwhile for her.

When mine were in nursery, I worked for a negative amount, of around -£500/month. OP, this is sadly rather the norm.

Your friend is right, this should have all been thought through before having children. It isn’t fair for children to be in full time childcare from such a young age.
Why can’t your husband reduce his hours so you can take the new full-time position?

So what if low-income women are totally fucked!
There are subsidies for childcare on low incomes, up to 85% of fees. Who's truly fucked are women on mid-salaries, around 40K-50K. Too much to get help with fees, too low to pay out of own income.
And 40-50K jobs are, unsurprisingly, often a step on a professional career ladder that has a significant interval with a woman's fertile interval.

Ah, I recognise you from other threads. You with your outdated, misogynistic views.

Even with those subsidies, women on minimum wage are still worse off than those on £40k salaries.

Why isn't it fair?

No. Paying 1.5K out of 2.5K (40K net) leaves you with less than £225 out of £1400 (min wage).

Why is the childcare bill 100% yours?

If the bill is £1,000 per month, splitting it equally would mean your £350 leftover would become £850.

Can we please change the narrative on this. It’s a joint expense. Yawn

Actually I am going to say yawn twice.

I don't know anywhere that childcare is £1.5k.

I agree with @Tamzo85 people should only have children if they can afford to have them. Screw people with lower wages they shouldn’t be having children at all. It should most definitely be a class system, middle and upper class only and anyone in a lower class be a subservient to the higher classes and their children.

Why stop there let’s take is further, you should only have children if you want stay at home with them while your DH goes to works and provides, therefore no nursery’s are needed for little Fred and Charlotte.

If you end up being a single parent or DH loses his job and can’t afford your life style your children should be taken away and given to an upper class couple or can’t have their own children.

Or maybe just maybe @Tamzo85 you should move to the USA they seem to be heading into more of a hand maids tale situation, you might find it agrees better with your beliefs

I took an example of one child of toddler age going to nursery. Will be completely impossible if you add another one.

Well how does your husband currently afford childcare for his full time job?

Excellent question.

It's roughly about £1k a month usually, not £1.5k.

And yes, impossible if you have 2, but 30 hours free childcare kicks in at 3 years old so that would be a very temporary thing. Once the nursery years are over, the woman on £40k is much better off than the woman on minumum wage, so they're not "screwed." It's just a painful temporary expense.

But it’s not just you that is paying for childcare, surely your DH should pay for 50%?