Parents won’t come round without the dog - but I have a brand new house, with a cream carpet

[rightonthemoney]

let me start this by saying I absolutely LOVE my parents dog - I was still at home when they got her, so I’m not completing detached from her!

Anyway, I’ve just moved into my first home with my partner, we live about 45 minutes away now from both sets of parents (the only affordable place left in our county.) My parents came round to see the house when we first got it, about three weeks ago, and I’ve invited them round to see the progress of it this weekend.

My mum said they want to come, but they’d like to bring the dog. I said they can bring her, but she’s not allowed on the carpet. I have a brand new home, with cream carpet. We have no pets or children, so it will stay clean, because I want it to. For reference, she’s a very hairy, smelly cocker spaniel. I’ve said the dog can come in the kitchen, but apparently that isn’t ok…

Anyway - they don’t want to leave the dog for hours on end, which is completely fair enough. However, they would be gone for four/five hours MAX. Plus, my 30 year old brother lives at home! I got frustrated with my mum and this is verbatim the text she sent: “I don’t want her to be alone. Minimum of 50 mins to you, and back so that leaves a couple of hours max at yours….simple, you come here 😊”

Am I being unreasonable?! Just the way she worded the text, expecting me to drive 50 minutes away because of the dog, even though I have invited them to mine. I don’t mind driving to them, but it’s the principle.

Am I going to spend my whole life only travelling to them because they have a dog? 🤦🏻‍♀️ Really needed to vent because I’m so angry!

Oh yes…😟

YANBU. I have a dog, we have just moved and replaced the carpet. He’s allowed in the living room only when we are there and if he’s clean and that’s my own dog. I hate other peoples dogs being in my house. I allow it but they don’t ever go in the livingroom. Kitchen and back garden only.

I also very rarely take my dog to other peoples house because he can be left at home for a reasonable length of time.

I can understand your parents wanting to bring the dog if they are going to be a long time away from home but it sounds like they are not and even if they were there is another option at home.

It’s your house, your rules.

While the dog is part of the family, so is the OPs brother, the parents actual real child, not fur baby. If they can happily leave her 30 year old brother at home and visit without him, why can't they leave the dog home too?!

Its bizarre (unless the OP is going to come back on and say her brother has been done for animal cruelty or something.)

I love dogs but they're dogs they're not people, they won't get offended if they have to stay home with the brother. When did it become a thing to expect to bring your dog to other people's houses all the time?

I'd say "no probs. Next time you can come to me and arrange a dog sitter :)"

Clear message that you wont be going to her all the time.

He definitely hasn’t, don’t worry! He had a minor op a few months back and hasn’t really been going out as frequently, and therefore been staying at home lots more. So he would most likely be in this weekend, or they could at least arrange it so they had could be.

it upsets me because I have gone over to their house plenty of times to look after the dog when they want to go out on a day trip, etc. They never even bothered to ask my brother who lives at home, but were perfectly happy for me to drive over from another town. I think he just wouldn’t give her as much attention as they would like.

YANBU. In laws used to bring their dog around and it would tear off around the house, up and down the stairs after our cats. I said no more. Its outside in the garden or it can stay in the car. They can then take it for a walk. I'm not having my house disrupted for a dog when there are solutions. And they can leave it at home with the brother.

I didn't hit any button, because I partially agree with your mum and partially with you. I would love to have my family dog around, but not at the cost of my new expensive cream carpet, so... Your house your rules. I do have pets, therefore I do not invest my money in expensive furniture etc., but you don't have any, so it's understandable you want it to keep it pretty and clean as long as possible.

Get some old sheets from the charity shop and put them down when the dog comes round.

And good luck with the cream carpets. Don't drink red wine or coffee ever again.

Get a pack of these, OP:

Paw protectors

Any shed hair will hoover up easily.

Dr Beckmann carpet stain remover. It works magic. I love my cream carpet and red wine!

Carpet protection. Problem solved! You can also use it when you have removal men/tradesmen coming in (and forgetting to remove their shoes when you're not looking - this will happen at some point!) or decorating etc https://www.screwfix.com/p/no-nonsense-carpet-protection-roll-25m-x-500mm/72304?tc=EA6&dskid=92700052138701503&dssrl=1243321&dsrl=1241687&dssrl=1245250&dsrl=1245250&gclid=Cj0KCQjw-JyUBhCuARIsANUqQQImQzobK6LN2iZqVcuiC6BxXSppAlckZ3VLzGfUZ3hIHMdP8m1dux0aAmx4EALwwcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

In fact actually, these are much better and much easier & more hardwearing! I remember my mum using these once when we were kids https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jazooli-Plastic-Carpet-Protector-Runner/dp/B076M65PHW/ref=ascdff_B076M65PHW/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309862974210&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=330304588185303519&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006766&hvtargid=pla-699345356370&psc=1

All I'm going to say is.... Dr Beckmann carpet cleaner. Dog or no dog visiting, you'll end up needing it with cream carpets at some point and this stuff is absolute genius.

Day we moved into our house, brand new carpets, the movers left a trail of black oil up the stairs (!). Couple of applications of Dr Beckmann and good as new

I know I’d feel very on edge visiting someone’s home who had so many rules and was obviously so into maintaining a show home sort of place.

Have all the dog whisperers on here missed the part where OP said the dog was not only hairy and smelly, but that her parents also had to get rid of their OWN CARPET because said hairy smelly dog had pissed on it multiple times?? Is keeping dog piss off your carpet now what constitutes a show home?

OP doesn't need carpet protectors or stain removers. OP needs her parents to get some bloody perspective and to not be so self-absorbed.

I need a “like” button for this post

once again mumsnet makes me
question my reality.

I have been a home owner for nearly twenty years.

lots of family members and friends have dogs.

never once has anyone brought their dog to my house!

do people really do this?

I take my dog every time I go to my parents, yes. Just like when theirs was alive they brought her to mine!

Have all the dog whisperers on here missed the part where OP said the dog was not only hairy and smelly, but that her parents also had to get rid of their OWN CARPET because said hairy smelly dog had pissed on it multiple times?? Is keeping dog piss off your carpet now what constitutes a show home?

Hits Like button.

OP wants parents to abide by her rules in her home - fine, reasonable, but parents are also free to say those rules don’t work for them and not visit and suggest an alternative - also reasonable, rather than pressure OP to change her house rules for them.

This is possibly the most sensible sentence in this whole thread. If they don't want to come without the dog, and the dog isn't allowed to come, then they won't come.

And it has crossed my mind that maybe the DPs are a bit anxious about going to a house where the carpet is so precious that it's shoes off, no dogs, etc and are using the dog as an excuse not to go. I bloody hate shoes off houses and I'm a complete klutz so me having a cuppa or a glass of wine is an immediate risk to any cream carpet.

Yes. When I had dogs, they visited loads of friends and family, and their presence was welcomed. MIL used to ask me to bring them, she loves dogs and all the family dogs are welcome, even the huge black labrador that leaves a cloud of fine black downy fur everywhere it walks.

My parents would have been most disappointed if I'd left the dogs at home.

Visiting dogs don't tend to go around pissing on pristine carpets. It's likely in the home it's something that's happened over time when the dog has been desperate left over night etc or had an accident when still training, once the smell is there they will go there the next time they are desperate. Very easy to prevent during a visit of a couple of hours!

That is utter nonsense. Have you never heard of scent marking?

I’m a dog lover. I have several but no. #teamcreamcarpet

I think you've suggested a perfectly reasonable solution with the dog staying in the kitchen (or presumably garden at this time of the year). The colour of your carpet is irrelevant, too. It's your house and you're entitled to want to look after it. We are cat owners, our extended family are dog owners. We don't want our elderly cat unsettled in her own home by visiting dogs and our family respect that. I'd love a dog one day, and I know how treasured they are as family members. But you should respect other people's wishes in their own home. You haven't said the dog can't come, you've said it can come and will need to stay in a specific room. That's fair I think.

@Herejustforthisone I've heard of it, yes. I still don't know any dogs personally who go around pissing on clean carpets. Sorry that yours do!