Page 12 | Parents won’t come round without the dog - but I have a brand new house, with a cream carpet

rightonthemoney · 2022-05-19T19:49:51+00:00

let me start this by saying I absolutely LOVE my parents dog - I was still at home when they got her, so I’m not completing detached from her! Anyway, I’ve just moved into my first home with my partner, we live about 45 minutes away now from both sets of parents (the only affordable place left in our county.) My parents came round to see the house when we first got it, about three weeks ago, and I’ve invited them round to see the progress of it this weekend. My mum said they want to come, but they’d like to bring the dog. I said they can bring her, but she’s not allowed on the carpet. I have a brand new home, with cream carpet. We have no pets or children, so it will stay clean, because I want it to. For reference, she’s a very hairy, smelly cocker spaniel. I’ve said the dog can come in the kitchen, but apparently that isn’t ok… Anyway - they don’t want to leave the dog for hours on end, which is completely fair enough. However, they would be gone for four/five hours MAX. Plus, my 30 year old brother lives at home! I got frustrated with my mum and this is verbatim the text she sent: “I don’t want her to be alone. Minimum of 50 mins to you, and back so that leaves a couple of hours max at yours….simple, you come here 😊” Am I being unreasonable?! Just the way she worded the text, expecting me to drive 50 minutes away because of the dog, even though I have invited them to mine. I don’t mind driving to them, but it’s the principle. Am I going to spend my whole life only travelling to them because they have a dog? 🤦🏻♀️ Really needed to vent because I’m so angry!

picassobride · 21/05/2022 07:58

Nobody, regardless how much we like them, will be allowed to bring dog, or any manner of pet, into our house.

Mrpunchisagit · 21/05/2022 08:05

Gosh I don’t think I have ever seen someone so emotionally invested in a carpet. Shoes off, don’t eat or drink in there, dog can’t come. What a way to live.

we have cream carpeting throughout, I have a Bissell carpet cleaner, my friend brings her rather boisterous dog regularly, people drink and eat where they wish, no one has to take their shoes off. I just give it a clean with the carpet cleaner, which doesn’t take much longer than hoovering, and I have it professionally done annually, which is about 50 quid a room. It’s not a big deal

The dog won’t ruin your carpet. If it gets dirty you clean it. Like anything else. a house should be a home.a place to relax, enjoy, spend time with loved ones, have fun, not be just something to sit and silently look at.

ItWillBeOkHonestly · 21/05/2022 08:08

rightonthemoney · 19/05/2022 21:10

My sister has kids, they aren’t banned. But there we have rules, like not taking juice into the lounge. I think that’s reasonable, it’s my house. I know my carpet won’t stay this way forever, believe me! We want to get vinyl one day, but we don’t have the spare money for that. I want my carpet looking beautiful. Like I said, it’s just my partner and I, we aren’t messy, so I’d expect my family to try and be mindful of that ☹️

YANBU! I have pale grey and cream colours in my house and I wouldn't want a hairy dog running about either. I don't want to live in a show house where people are terrified but we take our shoes off at the door and the kids aren't allowed to have messy food in the living room. We've still had plenty of spills (wine/coffee etc) and we just spray it and hope for the best! But if a friend brought a dog to visit, it'd be a kitchen/garden job!.

Mrpunchisagit · 21/05/2022 08:20

don't want to live in a show house where people are terrified but we take our shoes off at the door and the kids aren't allowed to have messy food in the living room. We've still had plenty of spills (wine/coffee etc) and we just spray it and hope for the best! But if a friend brought a dog to visit, it'd be a kitchen/garden job!

how very odd. To people not realise carpets can be and should be cleaned and there are very few stains a professional can’t get out?

really surprised at all these people living with weird rules in their own homes so their carPets don’t get dirty.

MsHatten · 21/05/2022 08:20

rightonthemoney · 19/05/2022 21:10

My sister has kids, they aren’t banned. But there we have rules, like not taking juice into the lounge. I think that’s reasonable, it’s my house. I know my carpet won’t stay this way forever, believe me! We want to get vinyl one day, but we don’t have the spare money for that. I want my carpet looking beautiful. Like I said, it’s just my partner and I, we aren’t messy, so I’d expect my family to try and be mindful of that ☹️

I remember a couple of years ago my son spilling a drink all over in my brother's new house. It wasn't cream but a light coloured carpet. I was horrified and mortified. My brother is a medical doctor and at the time he had just gone into his second year as a junior doctor. I remember what he said to this day. "Life is short and precious. There are things that are really important. Carpets aren't one of them. It literally could not matter less". I remember it so clearly because I made a conscious decision to think more like that myself. I'd not long before given my daughter a good telling off for making a load of mess while baking at home. I made a conscious choice then to chill the f out about all that stuff. It was so good for me..... Family, including animals, are more important than carpets. You won't look back on your life when old thinking happily of your carpets or wishing you had kept your carpets cleaner.

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/05/2022 08:47

Mrpunchisagit · 21/05/2022 08:05

Gosh I don’t think I have ever seen someone so emotionally invested in a carpet. Shoes off, don’t eat or drink in there, dog can’t come. What a way to live.

we have cream carpeting throughout, I have a Bissell carpet cleaner, my friend brings her rather boisterous dog regularly, people drink and eat where they wish, no one has to take their shoes off. I just give it a clean with the carpet cleaner, which doesn’t take much longer than hoovering, and I have it professionally done annually, which is about 50 quid a room. It’s not a big deal

The dog won’t ruin your carpet. If it gets dirty you clean it. Like anything else. a house should be a home.a place to relax, enjoy, spend time with loved ones, have fun, not be just something to sit and silently look at.

@Mrpunchisagit

Maybe Op can’t afford to buy a bissell carpet and can’t afford annual professional carpet cleaning

it’d be well fucked of at having to shell out a couple of hundred quid a year to clean a carpet that I could keep clean if it were not for other people being selfish and keeping their shoes on and insisting their dog comes in living room.

why the hell should op shoulder such expense?!

MargosKaftan · 21/05/2022 08:53

OP - another thought, given your brother is at home, its not a case of not wanting to leave the dog alone, but set the terms of the visit.

Is this the first time you've lived away from your parents? Could it be they aren't reacting well to you now being an adult who decides the rules of your house, rather than a child who lives with them and has to follow their rules (even as an adult).

Its very odd they won't leave the dog with your brother. Would understand thinking it was too long to leave a dog alone, but refusing to leave it with your brother is strange.

MargosKaftan · 21/05/2022 08:56

Oh sorry OP missed your reply re your brother - so really you have to take some of the blame for this - you went along with the bonkers idea you needed to drive over from another town to look after their dog because the 30 year old man who was with the dog might not fuss it enough for their liking! Why on earth did you not just say no?

If they had given the dog a walk before going out, your brother literally only has to give the dog company and open the door so it can go out to wee/poo. Doesn't need excessive care.

You need to step back from the idea that your brother doesn't count as an adult.

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/05/2022 08:59

Mrpunchisagit · 21/05/2022 08:20

don't want to live in a show house where people are terrified but we take our shoes off at the door and the kids aren't allowed to have messy food in the living room. We've still had plenty of spills (wine/coffee etc) and we just spray it and hope for the best! But if a friend brought a dog to visit, it'd be a kitchen/garden job!

how very odd. To people not realise carpets can be and should be cleaned and there are very few stains a professional can’t get out?

really surprised at all these people living with weird rules in their own homes so their carPets don’t get dirty.

@Mrpunchisagit

Any one who doesn’t take their shoes off in the house must have questionable hygiene in my opinion.

Have you seen the state of most streets in the Uk these days? Full of dog shit, proper minging.

You do not want to be walking around your house in the same shoes you’ve walked around outside in

dummyd · 21/05/2022 09:10

Gosh I don’t think I have ever seen someone so emotionally invested in a carpet. Shoes off, don’t eat or drink in there, dog can’t come. What a way to live.

Most of the world take shoes off indoors, the British didn't invent it. Most of the world enjoy their life just fine. They still cook generously for family and friends and laugh and have large families. They just don't have shoes on or animals inside.

SleepingFrog · 21/05/2022 09:12

I think it depends how you phrased it to your DM. For example- your dog can't come in the living room and will need to be shut in the kitchen (or stay home) versus we will sit outside/in the kitchen as we just got new cream carpet and I'm conscious while it's still so new that I want to keep it clean. If it was the latter, they may have been more inclined to suggest leaving the dog home with your brother to save the faff.

We once got told we couldn't bring our dogs to a friend's house because they had new cream carpet. It wasn't the request itself but how it was delivered, as if our dogs would traipse half the forest and mud in their house. We also had new cream carpet in our own house which was still clean and the suggestion that we would bring our two small dogs for a short visit and ruin their carpet was a bit of a joke. Ironically they later got a medium sized dog that sheds heavily who has since ruined their carpet after years of running from the garden straight in to the living room with muddy paws 🤷‍♀️

Once a dog is in and has dry feet, the carpet won't get any dirtier than you walking on it each day. Just ask them to bring a towel and a blanket/throw for your sofa (if the dog is usually allowed on the sofa at home) and get your vacuum cleaner ready for when it leaves to pick up any stray hairs.

Classicblunder · 21/05/2022 09:22

I don't think I have ever seen anyone as emotionally invested in a dog.

On their deathbed are they going to think, so glad we prioritised Fluffy? Or maybe it would have been better to see our daughter more

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/05/2022 09:24

SleepingFrog · 21/05/2022 09:12

I think it depends how you phrased it to your DM. For example- your dog can't come in the living room and will need to be shut in the kitchen (or stay home) versus we will sit outside/in the kitchen as we just got new cream carpet and I'm conscious while it's still so new that I want to keep it clean. If it was the latter, they may have been more inclined to suggest leaving the dog home with your brother to save the faff.

We once got told we couldn't bring our dogs to a friend's house because they had new cream carpet. It wasn't the request itself but how it was delivered, as if our dogs would traipse half the forest and mud in their house. We also had new cream carpet in our own house which was still clean and the suggestion that we would bring our two small dogs for a short visit and ruin their carpet was a bit of a joke. Ironically they later got a medium sized dog that sheds heavily who has since ruined their carpet after years of running from the garden straight in to the living room with muddy paws 🤷‍♀️

Once a dog is in and has dry feet, the carpet won't get any dirtier than you walking on it each day. Just ask them to bring a towel and a blanket/throw for your sofa (if the dog is usually allowed on the sofa at home) and get your vacuum cleaner ready for when it leaves to pick up any stray hairs.

@SleepingFrog

Why were you wanting to bring your dogs to a visit to a friends house anyway?

That’s weird. You leave them at home surely.

Do your dogs go everywhere with you?

SillyLittleBiscuit · 21/05/2022 09:41

My dog goes everywhere with us. If he’s not allowed we make other arrangements. They want to take care of their dog and you want to take care of your carpet so the solution is you meet at their house. Or go to a pub halfway. Send them pics of your house progress. It’s not really a big deal is it?

Cherrysoup · 21/05/2022 10:04

We moved into a house with a cream carpet. Then we got dogs and got rid of the carpet and tiled the lounge instead. Currently, with a puppy, we’ve put down scraps/runners so he doesn’t slip. The runner is cream, it’s pretty disgusting after several months of very lively puppy running in from the garden.

I think the OP’s parents are bonkers, saying they won’t come without the dog. Her brother can look after it, how mad that they’re saying they won’t come without it.

SleepingFrog · 21/05/2022 10:12

@LuckySantangelo35 one of the couple had previously been our lodger/house mate that had lived with us when we had our first dog in our home so they'd always welcomed the dogs over when they bought their house (before the new carpets). Sometimes we would take them and sometimes we wouldn't but I think there is a way to ask politely to leave dogs at home and a way to demand that the dogs are not welcome. It took us a bit by surprise to be honest just they way they asked, as per my previous post, not that they had asked. Obviously we left the dogs home and went round, we didn't refuse to go.

These days our dogs are often home unless we are travelling far to visit family as we have two children to cart around 😂

SleepingFrog · 21/05/2022 10:16

@LuckySantangelo35 I'm also assuming you don't have dogs (could be wrong) as we frequently have friends over and they bring their dogs. We don't think that's weird.

The couple I mentioned also bring their messy dog to ours regularly (they've got over the carpet issue or don't think it applies to other houses maybe) and it's totally normal to us. The vast majority of our friends and family have one or more dogs so we just expect them to bring them.

I think it's a bit judgey to say it's weird just because it's not your "normal" lifestyle.

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/05/2022 11:06

SillyLittleBiscuit · 21/05/2022 09:41

My dog goes everywhere with us. If he’s not allowed we make other arrangements. They want to take care of their dog and you want to take care of your carpet so the solution is you meet at their house. Or go to a pub halfway. Send them pics of your house progress. It’s not really a big deal is it?

@SillyLittleBiscuit

your dog goes everywhere with you? Really?

You must have a really restricted life.

What about work?

What about nice bars, restaurants?

What about the super market or shops?

hairdressers, opticians, doctors, dentists?

what about foreign holiday?

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/05/2022 11:08

SleepingFrog · 21/05/2022 10:16

@LuckySantangelo35 I'm also assuming you don't have dogs (could be wrong) as we frequently have friends over and they bring their dogs. We don't think that's weird.

The couple I mentioned also bring their messy dog to ours regularly (they've got over the carpet issue or don't think it applies to other houses maybe) and it's totally normal to us. The vast majority of our friends and family have one or more dogs so we just expect them to bring them.

I think it's a bit judgey to say it's weird just because it's not your "normal" lifestyle.

@SleepingFrog

i used to have a dog. Wouldn’t have dreamt of bringing her with me when I’d visit my pals at their houses. Dog stayed at home.

SillyLittleBiscuit · 21/05/2022 11:40

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/05/2022 11:06

@SillyLittleBiscuit

your dog goes everywhere with you? Really?

You must have a really restricted life.

What about work?

What about nice bars, restaurants?

What about the super market or shops?

hairdressers, opticians, doctors, dentists?

what about foreign holiday?

Show quote history

Yeah our lives have got a lot smaller since we got our dog (he is a previously abused senior rescue). Local pub or our mates houses only for entertainment. Uk holidays. There’s two of us so one stays with the dog if the other has appointments or goes out with friends. Wfh, supermarket deliveries. Moved from London to the countryside just before the pandemic so was obviously ready for a slower pace to life. Its not everyone’s cup of tea I know, but we’re all happy.

Long winded way of saying if the dog isn’t welcome we’ll compromise and, happily, our friends and family work with us.

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/05/2022 11:55

SillyLittleBiscuit · 21/05/2022 11:40

Yeah our lives have got a lot smaller since we got our dog (he is a previously abused senior rescue). Local pub or our mates houses only for entertainment. Uk holidays. There’s two of us so one stays with the dog if the other has appointments or goes out with friends. Wfh, supermarket deliveries. Moved from London to the countryside just before the pandemic so was obviously ready for a slower pace to life. Its not everyone’s cup of tea I know, but we’re all happy.

Long winded way of saying if the dog isn’t welcome we’ll compromise and, happily, our friends and family work with us.

Show quote history

@SillyLittleBiscuit

so you can never go out as a couple anywhere other than your local pub or mates houses?

wow. I do admire your commitment to your dog but I could never cope with my life being so restricted for the sake of a dog.

different strokes for different folks 😊

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/05/2022 11:56

SillyLittleBiscuit · 21/05/2022 11:40

Yeah our lives have got a lot smaller since we got our dog (he is a previously abused senior rescue). Local pub or our mates houses only for entertainment. Uk holidays. There’s two of us so one stays with the dog if the other has appointments or goes out with friends. Wfh, supermarket deliveries. Moved from London to the countryside just before the pandemic so was obviously ready for a slower pace to life. Its not everyone’s cup of tea I know, but we’re all happy.

Long winded way of saying if the dog isn’t welcome we’ll compromise and, happily, our friends and family work with us.

Show quote history

@SillyLittleBiscuit

presumably one of you must work from home?

SillyLittleBiscuit · 21/05/2022 12:01

@LuckySantangelo35 both wfh. We go for Sunday lunches in other dog friendly pubs and my folks dog sit if we ever want to go out out (twice a year maybe). The dog is great though, we’ll worth it imo.

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/05/2022 12:07

SillyLittleBiscuit · 21/05/2022 12:01

@LuckySantangelo35 both wfh. We go for Sunday lunches in other dog friendly pubs and my folks dog sit if we ever want to go out out (twice a year maybe). The dog is great though, we’ll worth it imo.

@SillyLittleBiscuit

I guess if your parents were willing to dog sit when you went away on hol it wouldn’t be too bad. Only holidaying in the UK would be a deal breaker for me!

SillyLittleBiscuit · 21/05/2022 12:16

They come with us. We used to go Cyprus every year, now it’s Dorset 🤣 I couldn’t leave him for a week!