Husband taking only car on stag do

[Clego]

My husband and I have a one year old, and he is due to go on his brother's stag do for two nights in June. It will be his second stag do of the year and the third time he has left me for more than one night to look after DS.

We live in a village and have only one car between us, which my husband bought. I did have my own car, but sold it as we used it so infrequently that I kept having to replace the battery.

My husband wants to take our only car on the stag do, which would leave me and DS car-less for the weekend (not great for emergencies and would leave me and DS house bound). I have offered to pay for a rental car for him to use, but he is insisting that he wants to take our car. My real problem is that I would have to move our very safe, but very heavy and difficult to install car seat into a rental car, just so he can take our car instead. Husband cannot fit the car seat as he's not very practical, and given that DS's safety is at stake, I'm not prepared to let him do a rubbish job of it.

Am I being unreasonable in expecting him to take a rental car so I don't have to fight with the car seat twice?

She wants use of his car, so totally appropriate if that's what she wants imo.

I hope that he's having a lovely weekend, with the car!

It's the family car. Why does he get to take it and leave the parent with the child without a car?

It sounds to me like he still sees it as his car and that he has priority access to it. Whereas it's now the family car. OP sold her car and has ended up dependent on him.

By her own choice and volition.
Time for buttercup to suck it up!

Yeah, I wonder if the OP argued to sell her car and said if she ever needed one it was simple for her to rent one.
Or perhaps I am too cynical and it was a joint decision to sell the car because they had one of those very rare cars where the battery needed to be frequently replaced.

It's an isofix car seat. Look on the JL website, it's called fast connect isofix, pretty easy.

I swanned off to a hen weekend with the car leaving DH to sort out 3 days worth of meals for 3 children of varying ages, get 1 to and from a birthday party, take them out to the park, get homework done, uniform sorted, washing/cleaning/tidying etc. all done because he is as much an adult as I am.

If that is how you think, you need to find better males to interact with. Or just better human beings in general.

Golly, the MRA fanbase is out in force today. Just because they don't mind subjugating their needs to Big Important Man doesn't mean the OP has to.

How did all those single people who were stuck at home for days during the pandemic cope day after day not being able to go anywhere or see anyone! Honestly grow up.

Yeah that's right, let's get the women to grow up so men who are inexplicably incapable of driving a different car, or fixing a car seat, can still get to go out to play at the weekend.
I wonder what all the people who would tolerate his incompetence think will happen when he has to get a new car, or take his child out on his own in a different car? Beyond ridiculous.

They will come up with some other excuse for him. If you are already married to someone like this and have spent the last 12 years making excuses for your own husband''s behaviour, it becomes difficult to call that kind of behaviour out in any other person, because in order to do so, you would first have to psychologically accept that your DH is an arse. The cognitive dissonance would be too much to handle.

You can manage without for two days, don't be silly.

This stuff about "what if we need to go to hospital" is catastrophising, and if you really believed it, you would rent a car yourself to keep on the drive just in case. You won't, of course, because you know it isn't really necessary.

Don't be silly. The husband can easily get himself to the stag do on public transport. Don't forget he's happy to leave the responsibility of the children to the op for the weekend. The least he can do is leave the car to make things easier for the op and their children.

Don't be silly. The husband can easily get himself to the stag do on public transport. Don't forget he's happy to leave the responsibility of the children to the op for the weekend. The least he can do is leave the car to make things easier for the op and their children.

It's child, one child not children!

She is literally moaning about having to be at home for 2 nights, refuses to say whether she can walk anywhere with the baby, acting like she is being left housebound.

There are plenty of ways to entertain yourself at home for 2 days if you never left its what many single people including women had to do throughout the pandemic so thats why I say grow up. Grow up and own your choices for being part of the decision to live rurally, to give up your own car and then choose a car seat you cannot move between cars. Then also own the fact your choosing to stay at home instead of invting friends or family to come over or going out for a walk or many other things that can be done without the need for a car.

he's happy to leave the responsibility of the children to the op for the weekend

jesus I can’t believe people actually think like this. Do you mean, “co-parent like all healthy and functioning relationships should be able to do”

I’d stock up in advance and let him take the car.

Can anybody who thinks the OP is unreasonable explain why they think her husband shouldn't take a hire car so everyone is catered for?
'Why should he?' and a lot of nonsense about whether its possible to stay in for the weekend doesn't answer why people think it reasonable for him to refuse to do this small thing for his wife, whose happiness should matter to him.

Because hiring cars is expensive and it's an unnecessary waste of money when you already have a car that your partner doesn't need for that weekend.

I wouldnt call hiring a car a small thing, for one its highly inconvenient in terms of (me personally) not driving your own car, pick up and drop off times, not having a guarantee of the car you want (sometimes you will get what you booked at other times you get something different), its hugely costly and this is also on top of the fct that OP doesnt need the car, whereas he does.

Also what is this childish nonsense that 'her happiness should matter to him', what is she a princess, their happiness together matters but equally they have to use common sense and compromise. She chose to get rid of HER own transport, she has to accept there is compromise with that.

I notice she hasnt been back to say that its 5 miles to the nearest bit of pavement or something so likely not stuck up a mountain or something.

Don't be silly. The husband can easily get himself to the stag do on public transport.

So you know where OP lives and where the stag do is, do you @autienotnaughty? Because I can think of several popular places for stag weekends that are extremely difficult to get to on public transport from where I live, yet can be reached in a couple of hours by car.

I was being sarcastic in response to a poster who called the op silly having decided the op didn't need the car. Thanks for proving my point.

Agree that hiring a car is expensive and a pain in the arse.

Except that if that were the case, that he could get to the do on public transport quite easily and she could not use public transport easily, that is likely to have been part of her OP.

She didnt say that.

This is what you said.

Don't be silly. The husband can easily get himself to the stag do on public transport. Don't forget he's happy to leave the responsibility of the children to the op for the weekend. The least he can do is leave the car to make things easier for the op and their children.

I can see no sarcasm there. And in context with the post you quoted when saying that, your explanation makes no sense at all.

Hiring a car is easy