Yes, my guest also sends money home. Which I find very hard to know how to respond to. On the one hand, it's her money and I am not out of pocket at the moment now the payments have started from the local authority. On the other hand, she needs to be thinking about saving (hard!) for her next step and that should be the priority, in my view, if she wants to remain in the UK. I was not happy when she told me she'd received the cost of living increase in her UC payment this month and had sent it to her family. Her costs of living are essentially zero - she has free gym membership and a SIM card, makes no contribution to bills and since I told her she needed to buy her own food but I would provide basics as the kitchen is small (specifically, eggs, bread, butter, milk, cereal, pasta and tea and coffee) she has eaten nothing but basics. That money should have been kept for a deposit if she plans to stay here, and we have already talked about the costs associated with a private rental.
I have a lot of sympathy for her situation but her parents are safe and have stable jobs. For sure, being in Ukraine is not a barrel of laughs but the cost of living payment was made to help families here manage the impact on their finances of soaring costs linked in large part to the conflict in Ukraine. I understand the complexities of means testing it and why it was not held back from Ukrainians but I really had hoped she would either have saved it or offered some as a contribution to the considerable costs we've incurred on her behalf. I'd have refused it, but it would have been a welcome gesture.
I can see from the mood music from our council and elsewhere that the narrative is shifting towards asking us as hosts to accommodate our guests for longer than the six months we signed up for.
I am ok with up to 12 months with a contribution from her towards increased costs (we are all out all day and the house is not heated - if she isn't working as well she will need to contribute at that point once winter comes) if that gives her longer to save for a deposit. But not if she is sending her money home and relying on me in the short term and the government in the longer term to fix her housing problem.
And then there is the issue of what happens after 12 months. I don't want to let out my spare room to a lodger. If that was true, I'd have done it before and be considerably better off than I am at the moment - £350 is about 60% of what a room like that would be rented out for round here. As it is, I can't have guests to stay, I am sharing a small kitchen and living space and am not set up to support this in the longer term. And while I can of course say "no" if we find ourselves presented with a request to convert a short term sponsorship into a longer term rental arrangement, this is a tough one- I like her and want to look after her and make sure she is ok. Turning that down if it became a formal request would be deeply awkward because I don't have a good reason for saying no beyond not wanting to do what essentially amounts to parenting another young adult indefinitely.
On top of this, I am seeing suggestions in various places that guests ask hosts to be guarantors for private rentals - this is a terrible idea and really irresponsible in my view. Unless you know exactly what you are letting yourself in for and are willing to end up paying the entirety of the rental costs (including those of other tenants) for the duration of the lease then no one should put themselves in that position. I've seen a few comments on other groups from hosts who have said they have offered this and not realised the extent of the commitment. This really alarms me, as it isn't and shouldn't be the solution being put forward to the challenges of private rental.
Rant over. I don't know what the answer is. Just letting off steam.