To ask working parents how much do you see your kids each day?

[Kikimush]

Just curious. DH goes off to work at 830am every morning, then I drop the kids to school at 9. Childminder collects them and looks after them til 6pm and then once dh is home at 630pm it's time for dinner, quick bit of reading and bed at 8/830pm. Sometimes I'll also have something urgent hanging over from work that will need to be dealt with in this time.

I know lots of people are in the same/worse boat and I'm not looking for sympathy but just wondering how common this is? We do tend to make the most of family time at the weekend but it still never seems like enough. There are so many things I want to do with the kids that I never get around to :(

Oooooh we have our first 'why have children'!!!
It took a while but we got there.

Have you any idea how insulting that comment is?
Why is is establishing a career a bad thing?

At the expense of the child, yes it's a bad thing.

And in the case of the op, she hardly sounds as though she's making a roaring success of it given how many hours a week she's at it, knowing the company involved has to redo it.

Dc2 wakes me at 5:30 so we have three hours before I drop both DC at school and nursery. Then I pick up dc1 at 3 and spend until 5 doing reading etc, then pick up dc2 from nursery, then until 7:30 doing dinner bath and bed and then I start working again until midnight.

A lot of people could work pt (or not at all) if they have a husband who works

What a ridiculous, sexist comment.

Are men the only ones permitted to work full time and have a career?
We absolutely could survive on my DHs salary and we could survive on mine too. However, we both choose to work because our careers are important to us.

Life is about pleasure and purpose. My family gives me pleasure but my career gives me purpose and I'm proud of it. There is nothing wrong with that.

Some days, 2/3 hours. And some days, its 2/3 hours too much!

Some people want to earn their own money and not rely on their husband. Women having financial independence is a great thing.

Get up at 7:30 leave her at school gates 8:50.
pick up 5pm. Lights out after a story about 8:45pm so I guess we spend about five hours a day together most weekdays. Longer on Fridays.

We all get up at 8am, and DH and I share drop offs at 8:45 depending on what we have on that morning.

I have arranged my hours so I can do school pick up three nights a week (DS5 does afterschool club so I pick him up at 4:30, and luckily I only work 30mins away from his school). That means I can take him to swimming lessons etc, and he gets to eat tea at home each night. Bedtime is at 8pm.

I do then need to work late (getting home long after bedtime) on Thursday and Friday to catch up, and DH picks him up from school on those nights. I occasionally need to work at the weekends and after DS is in bed, but try to minimise that.

Most people I know have their kids in ASC until 6pm each night though - and if I wasn’t so lucky with my commute, we’d have to do that too.

Most single parents cannot afford to pay essential bills if they don't work, and most don't have the luxury of choosing flexible working hours. Get in the real world.

What are you talking about choicemummy?
Firstly, who said anything about things having a negative impact on the child? That's your projection, but as you've never actually used childcare you are t in a position to comment.
Secondly, what makes you think the op isn't successful in her career?

I see her from wake up time (usually 6.45am) to nursery drop off (8am) 4 days a week. One day a week I’m WFH and do pick up so I see her from then (5.30) until bedtime (7.30). The other three days a week I’m through the door at 6.45 and seeing her until bedtime.

The three days a week I’m not working (sat, sun, mon) I’m with her full time. Not enough really but me working is non-negotiable so it is what it is!

I see them for about ten minutes before I leave at 6:45, then both for about an hour and a quarter, and whichever I'm putting to bed for another 30-45 minutes. Sometimes one of them asks to get up early with me, in which case I get an extra half an hour with them.

At the moment, I leave before they're awake and typically get home around 5pm. All drop offs are done by DH and pick ups are usually between him and geamdparents. Tea, bath, stories and bed by 7.30. I see them all weekend and I am off all of the school holidays.

In September, i'm moving to a much closer school so i'll probably see them until around 7.30am, will be able to do some drop offs and pick ups from wraparound, which they quite enjoy going to.

It is a hard balance and when you add in cooking decent meals from fresh there is a lot of juggling.

Mine are 2 and 4. We all wake up at 6am then I leave at 7.45am, hubby does the morning school run and I pick the kids up between 4/4.30. Home between 4.30/5. They eat, shower then they're in bed by 7.

I get school holidays off at the moment, but that could change as of September.

It depends on your job. Social worker for example it's impossible

Me n DH both work full time. When they were little I worked 7-4 and he did 9.30-6 so Kids got dropped in nursery at 9 and picked up at 5. One day a week the grandparents looked after them. Now they are teenagers we are around a lot more working from home. Have a cleaner and don't do any shopping that is not delivery so I don't waste any time on housework which would be missing time with them too. I prefer to work and do that than have to clean myself at weekends, eves and miss time with them that way. Weekends are family time. I NEVER do DIY :-). I know a lot of people who work less but we have their kids as endless diy seems to be occurring.

I'd say that as a lone parent who works, I'm very much in the real world!

@ChoiceMummy i am a single parent with a really flexible job.

If you think jobs that are entirely flexible, as in ‘work whatever hours suit’ are not available to everyone. It’s not very common.

if you think it is you are not in real world.

what industry are you in?

I had a long commute to school (45 minutes each way), so we had such great conversations in the car on the way there and back as DS couldn’t do anything but interacting with me.

On the day I finished a bit early, I would stop at the library to do homework there before the dinner/bed time routine, and when he moved to a closer school I used to pick him up with a picnic and go to the park to kick a ball and do homework there. When he was about 8 he got very interested in chess so we started to have a Tuesday “pub night”, we would go to a family pub at 5, play chess while the dinner was being prepared and head home.

As he got older and my hours increased to full time, I ensured I had dinner with him after the after school club and went to the park to kick a ball for half an hour before heading back to finish the day. This meant DS was falling asleep at 9 instead of 7 but in all honesty, at 7 he didn’t need to sleep for 12 hours and I considered it was more important for us to keep the conversation going than sending him to bed at 7 (he wouldn’t fall sleep until later anyway and we avoided the waking up at 4).

I know a couple of women who commute to work, who have chosen to have their kids at nursery near to their workplace rather than their home as that gives them time with their kids in the mornings and evenings but also, they can get to the nursery very quickly if there is any problem.

I work 3.5 days, partner works 3 full days then 2 days school hours. One of us is there in the morning and at 3 when our son comes home from school.
We didn't do this deliberately at first (I lost a full time job when I was pregnant then had to find one quickly and could only get part time) but it has worked out as very important to both of us to not use childcare.

Growing up, I only saw my parents for 3-4 hours a day. It never seemed weird to me; we've always felt very close and this is most likely how it'd go down if I had kids of my own.

Teens. Max an hour a day at supper unless we do the commute to and from work together. It an hour each way and they're out from 7-7.

Disgusting attitude.

Are you seriously suggesting that women shouldn't have children if they need to work to pay bills or want to work because they enjoy it or want to be able to fund a nice lifestyle with some luxuries for their family.

For those who think it's odd to have children and also 'establish a career' what do you tell your daughters? Do you just say not to bother with school/uni/training? Is that only for the boys?

Let’s hope these people don’t want a female nurse doing their smear test, a female doctor, a female carer doing their personal care when they are older…