To ask working parents how much do you see your kids each day?

[Kikimush]

Just curious. DH goes off to work at 830am every morning, then I drop the kids to school at 9. Childminder collects them and looks after them til 6pm and then once dh is home at 630pm it's time for dinner, quick bit of reading and bed at 8/830pm. Sometimes I'll also have something urgent hanging over from work that will need to be dealt with in this time.

I know lots of people are in the same/worse boat and I'm not looking for sympathy but just wondering how common this is? We do tend to make the most of family time at the weekend but it still never seems like enough. There are so many things I want to do with the kids that I never get around to :(

It varies depending on work commitments as we both work full time but but we only use wraparound care three days a week and on those days we drop him off at 8 and collect him before 5 with the very odd day being 5.30. He absolutely loves the wraparound care and would happily go everyday!
The other two days he's dropped off at 9 and collected at 3.15.
DS is a night owl so generally doesn't go to bed before 8.30.

Then obviously we have weekends.

It works well for us.

Mine is only two and I only work three days per week, very lucky to be able to work part time.

On working days I get him up at 7, then drop him off at nursery at 8. Pick him up at 5.20pm, and then he's in bed asleep for 6.20pm. So it's two hours. I'd absolutely hate it if that was every weekday :( luckily I have two days of the week with him and the whole weekend.

A fair amount - but DS’s nursery is only a 2 minute walk from our house, and I WFH and DH WFH about 3 days a week. I also only work 4 days a week, which I know is a huge luxury.

We drop DS off about 8.45am (having had breakfast with him at home), then collect him at about 5.10pm then we all have dinner together at home at about 5.45pm. I know many parents can’t do this because of commutes, shifts or difficult bosses, but I always wanted decent time with DS in the week including daily meals. I think having a child in nursery from 7.30am - 6pm or so is too long and tiring for them, but I know it can’t be helped in most circumstances. The key is being engaged and responsive with them when you are together.

It’s really hard if you have to work long hours etc, but if it’s any consolation, I don’t think the children notice/mind/remember that much anyway- provided you’re “present” with them when they are at home.

On my working days, I leave before they wake up, and I get back about 7, so it's quick dinner-bath-bed and that's it. If I'm on a long day or night I might not see them at all. But I only work 3 days a week so on the other days I have DS2 with me all day and DS1 outside school time, so it's mostly ok! Gets a bit harder if I do a weekend though.

Consultancy work. I diversified using my transferable skills after being a sahp.

Normally I don't get in till 6.30pm by which time the kids will have eaten and be getting ready to have a bath. I get in take over getting them into pjs and do storytime. They are in bed for 7-7.30pm and asleep by 8pm. I work part time and have enough time that I am happy with on my days off to spend with them. Working pays the bills, buys their clothes and all the fun stuff they like to do. I wouldn't want to work full time and am lucky to be in a position not to have to. Dh largely wfh so clocks off by 5.30pm usually if he has more work to do he will catch up after the kids are in bed.

An hour in the morning and 1-2 hours in the evening

Single parent to one DD here.

I see her 6.30-8.50ish every day apart from Tuesday when I see her until 7.30am.

On Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays I get from 3.30 until 7.30pm with her.
Tuesday I get from 3.30 until 5.30 then 7 until 7.30pm.
Wednesday 5.30 until 7.30pm

Weekends, 1 weekend I get Saturday from wake up until 10am then from 11am until school Monday.

The next weekend I only see her until 10am Saturday when I drop her at her activitiy and then from 5.30-7.30pm Sunday.

I feel like in term time I hardly see her due to her contact with her dad and her activities.

Even though written down it seems loads over 20 hours in the week.

In holidays she's at holiday club but it finishes at 3pm so i finish earlier and spend more time with her as her Tuesday activity stops.

DD is almost 8.

For me, being able to afford an amazing 2 weeks holiday abroad, sky TV, new car model etc is not justification for such long hours and a lack of consistent quality family time every day.

Ah of course, women work for luxuries don't they?
You're making ridiculous assumptions about why people work and you're assuming those that use wraparound care don't spend time with their children.
Have a word with yourself.

I see DD age 2 from 7ish-8.30 (we have 40 min commute though to nursery), then 5.30-8.30/9pm depending on when she falls asleep. She’s in nursery x3 days then DH has her the other two. She doesn’t sleep until late for age but it seems to suit our schedule 🤷‍♀️

I'm a childminder so mine were always home anyway. However, I always feed the children in my care a (free) home cooked 2 course meal about 5:30pm so that the parents have one less thing to worry about when they get home and a bit of extra time with the children. I help with homework too for the same reason.

Do you need the money that badly? Can’t you make do with less and spend more time with your kids?
I don’t understand why people want to do this.

It's all very well saying this but not everyone has the luxury of working part time

@ChoiceMummy
I really don’t get it either. If you don’t absolutely need to why work from 7 to 6 or whatever every day and see your child in a rush about 2 hours tops? For the better lifestyle? To “establish a career”?
I mean why have children!

I work evenings and weekends.
I have my kids all day, do school drop off and collection…. Partner home at 6pm and then I leave for work, he does bed time.
weekends are the same, he is off and I go to work, so we never have to fork out on childcare nor do we have to put them in breakfast clubs and I do get to be with them quite a lot….. however sometimes it would be nice not to have to work evenings and weekends but that is what works for us and our children.

@Mangofandangoo

A lot of people could work pt (or not at all) if they have a husband who works. It may mean making do on less or not progressing their career. But they could do it. They put those things ahead of that extra time often - their choice but let’s not lie and pretend their no choice for a lot of people.

Should add that my shifts are ‘every other’ weekend so we do get 2 weekends a month when we are all together and I do not work every evening either

I haul ds out of bed at 6.45 and drop him at the bus at 7.45.
Collect him at 5.30 and he heads off to bed at 9.30.
So 5 hours a day during the week. 14 a day at the weekends😊

We both worked part time (about 33 hours when both kids were at school). We did one day after school club, where we both worked a full day, then each left early two days a week. The one working late did the morning school run, the early one did the afternoon pick up. Worked for us, we both got plenty of time with the children, but we were lucky to work somewhere that is really supportive of flexibility. I still try not to schedule any meetings before 9:30 to take into account people doing the school run.

On working days maybe about 45 min in the morning and 3 hours before their bed time!

A lot of people could work pt (or not at all) if they have a husband who works

you’re only targeting women with these comments of ‘why have kids’ then I see?

I drop them at childminder 8am 2 days a week she collects them from school & I pick up at 5.
The other 3 days DH and I do school runs between us. They go to bed around 7.15pm at the moment.

DH is full time hours, do 4 days worth of hours but over 5 days

It only works because we can both wfh at least some of the time so we save on commute time and DH and I are like ships in the night, I start early, he finishes late.

A lot of people could work pt (or not at all) if they have a husband who works.

So could a lot of men if they have a wife who works - but let me guess, it only counts if it's a mother sacrificing her security and independence?

Mine are 10 and 6 . I see my kids for 30 mins in the morning , Monday 1 h, Tuesday 2 hours, Wed and Thursday 4 hours, Friday 1-2 hours. Plenty of time at the weekend. It’s fine, they have clubs after school etc

Tamzo85

To provide the best I can for my kids.

No worries about cost of living rising here. No worries about their futures either - university fees already saved for both. Music lessons, swimming lessons, lovely holidays.

With school aged kids you dont often get to choose to just work school hours & get some financial benefits.

Often the choices are a) work a handful of hours in a poorly paid job within school hours, for negligible extra money. Be skint and struggle for the extras but have an extra 15 or so hours a week with kids or b) work 30 plus hours a week in a better paid occupation and make a lmeaningful contribution to the family budget.