Would you let parents know if their dd14 was posting rude photos

[Slavetolove]

Dd14 is friends with another girl who is 14 and has a boyfriend.

she posted on her Instagram story yesterday of her in the shower with her bf, both clearly naked. He’s holding her boobs.

would you tell her parents? I would want to know if my daughter was posting stuff I think

I’d tell the parents rather than the school if you can. Go to the school if not.

If its on a story it's only there for 24 hours
School and police need to know ASAP so the police can view it themselves.
You then need a serious talk with your husband about safeguarding. What he thinks about keeping out if it, is frankly shocking.

This is a serious safeguarding issue and must be reported. If they are both only 14 it is statutory rape.

I wouldn't talk to the parents unless you know them and are friendly with them. A child of 14 posting highly sexualised pictures could well be an abuse victim, so you don't know what you'd be dealing with. I'd ring the school first for advice, they may well want to get police involved. It's unlikely anyone would know the report came from you, if it's on insta lots of people will have seen the same thing.

Do not screenshot it.
A friend of mine, her son was bombarded with images when he was 16 from a younger girl. He told his mum who rang the school. School said do not do anything, leave phone and images as they are bring phone to school. No screenshots or forwarding.

That’s not correct.

it’s a safeguarding issue. Both children need to be sufficiently safeguarded but at age 14plus and if the children are the same age then it is NOT rape. There are issues around consent for both children. Read the Brooke traffic light sexual health information or the NSPCC info on being Gillick competent.

Taking a screenshot of something someone said is on a completely different level to screenshotting an image such as the one the OP has been shown. Doing so would mean you were in possession of an illegal image of an underage child. OP could get in massively hot water for doing so.

100% tell the parents

My daughter would disown me. She and my husband thinks I should keep my nose out and that her parents probably know because she tells them everything..

Child safeguarding is everyone's responsibility, Op. you are the adult and you HAVE to cut through the teenage histrionics and ensure that girl is safe.

i'd tell school and ask their safeguarding what to do and let safeguarding there deal with it. the safeguarding at school might be aware of something and they'd need to know for sure.
or phone the MASH number (multi agency safeguarding hub). they're normally manned 24 hours i think.
if this has already been suggested please ignore!

🤣🙄🙄

Everyone saying yes yes yes has clearly not thought about what this would do to OP's trust and relationship with her daughter.

@boredwithfoodprob

If they are both only 14 it is statutory rape.

Erm, are you on the wrong thread? Nobody had mentioned intercourse.

Even if they had, there is no statutory rape involved.

OP's daughter is plenty old enough to learn that her personal feelings of embarrassment are much, much less important than another child's safety. There is a duty of care here.

@stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou

Everyone saying yes yes yes has clearly not thought about what this would do to OP's trust and relationship with her daughter.

Sometimes as parents we have to make decisions to protect children.

Find it very hard to believe (sadly) that OPs DD is the only one to have viewed this - which is one problem of many in this situation.

Tell school 100%.

The OPs daughter doesn't need to know she'd reported it! If the picture is/was on Instagram stories then presumably countless people will have seen it, and therefore any number of them could have reported it. And hopefully already have.

As far as I understand it, whether her parents are 'cool' with it, or just not interested, or whatever else, they cannot consent to her posting sexual images on the internet and neither can she.

But you're not protecting your own child in this instance.

What you will probably do is make sure that DD tells you nothing again. (I know you're not the OP).

That's still breaking trust with your daughter.

Exactly. This place is filling up fast tonight...

But you're not protecting your own child in this instance.

OPDD is not the child that needs protecting anyway.

At 14 they are old enough to understand when the line has been crossed and something needs reported. If they don't understand that it is due to immaturity which only serves to confirm why the adult should indeed make the decision here.

YES TELL THEM ASAP

@fluffycereal Yep definitely on the right thread. Statutory rape can involve sexual “activity” not necessarily intercourse. This is particularly the case when both parties are under age and despite the fact there was (I assume) consent.

It’s so sad to read. Even in a parallel universe where someone is mature enough and it’s legal at 14, this picture is now on the internet forever and can anyone, let a 14 yo, comprehend the consequences of that. The level of abuse this girl will get at school.

Awful. Reporting now to school gives her a chance at least.

Of course tell them! They may not realise, but what she’s doing (what they’re both doing if under 16) is illegal, massively naiive and could ruin her life if the photos get out! Which I guess they will be if on Instagram!

It’s a huge safeguarding risk. God, that poor, stupid girl.