Control Your Kids

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Children running around in pubs. Personally I never let mine as you have people walking with drinks and food. The pub I’m in has a massive park opposite, take them there to burn off their excess energy after you’ve finished your meal instead of them zooming past me at 100mph. AIBU?

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My children behave as well as most adults, and better than some adults. There's no reason they shouldn't be allowed in pubs. We throw out adults who are behaving like twats, and the same should apply to children.

YANBU. There is a time and place to let children run about and pubs/restaurants/shops/banks/cafes etc are not the one.
I worked in a DIY shop and I remember a small child with (I'm assuming) his dad and grandma running around the aisles. I was just heading off for my break when I heard a customer say "That is the funniest thing I've ever seen". I poked my head down the aisle and there was the boy covered head to toe in paint. He'd knocked a 2.5l tin of paint off the shelf which had hit the floor and exploded. If it had fallen onto his head it could have done serious damage or even killed him, and they 100% would have wanted to sue of that had happened even though they were allowing the child to run around. People need to keep there kids under control to keep them and others safe

YANBU and although I feel lucky that my kids were generally very compliant and calm we put the effort in. Kids learning to behave in any given environment doesn't just happen, they need to be shown. We used to pay cards, do drawings and read books with them. Puzzles, wordsearches, naughts and crosses etc. If we'd come unprepared maybe taking it in turns playing a little game on my phone for a bit. I know plenty of kids that don't sit still for a minute and the parents despair but they make no effort to engage them in anything at the table. Kids don't want to listen to adult conversation or watch grown ups drink their pints. You can't expect them to sit still and do nothing.

@WindyKnickers

absolutely! I suspect pubs are especially bad as parents want to just sit for hours and children get very, very bored!

Sat in the pub garden the other day and there were 2 parents with 5 kids. As they sat on their phones swigging rosé, they were encouraging their kids to run around the garden banging furniture with sticks.
a couple of people said something to them and they just smiled and ignored.
safe to say the pub garden was soon deserted.

My daughter has been waitressing through her A levels in a local very nice pub/restaurant and she said you always got one family where the adults would be sitting there drinking while the kids ran riot (and they have had waiters and waitresses tripping over and children straying into the kitchen). It’s dangerous and it bothers other diners but it’s also known as a naice family restaurant so they don’t want to alienate their clients I suppose.

Worst one was a small side room that DD had cleared and set up for the evening (approx 4 tables). She heard a noise in there and there was a man with a little boy of about 3 standing and stamping on the table and shaking salt everywhere. She looked around and he had clearly done it to every table, shoe marks and cutlery everywhere , salt cellar in the plants and the father just laughing. What hope have some kids got to grow up with boundaries and manners?

and the 12% who say YABU are probably the idiots that let their kids run around causing havoc.

I say bring back reins, whatever happened to them?

Agree with @AskingforaBaskin

I have a 3yo, and we don't eat out at the minute, she gets bored and snippy and agitated because we don't let her off her chair (because it's dangerous, and really unfair to the staff) and it's not an enjoyable experience, for her, us or anyone say near us.

@Ringo11 I also hate the 'children should be seen and not heard' narrative, but in an environment in which they could either get hurt, or hurt someone else you have to put boundaries in place as a parent to stop that happening. Being loud is to be expected in family pubs, but kids should be on their seats in pubs, it's not a discipline issue, it's a safety issue.

I was in a pub once and a father brought his ds, about 3, in with a football and they were having a kick about in the pub!!!

I've lived in France for nezrly 20years. On arriving was suite shocked that de had to be insured before she could set foot in school. Cost 20€/year.
In the above case thé insurance would pay out as it included civil liability. In any case thé Law states that children are supposed to obey their parents and are legally liable for the costs of their wrong doings. Was quite a shock but thé insurance is brillant, keeps costs down in schools and, in winter, meansvtheir all out with their teacher sliding on the ice in the playground.

YANBU
In my recent experience people just aren’t bothered to manage them and think it’s ok.

Example of slightly different scenario. I was in the changing area at the pool. A toddler of about 2 was running around the bench being chased by an older sibling maybe 6 yo playfully. Mum sitting down looking at phone. Kid falls over inevitably but gets up and continues running. I’m standing there naked and dripping wet kids trying to squeeze past me to keep running. As the little one approached for the 3rd lap I put out my hand and said ‘stop!’ Result : kids stop running. Parent looks up and says “thanks” looks back at phone…

I think people have just stopped caring about how their behaviour impacts on others. It's the 'why shouldn't I?' Attitude. But I was brought up to have manners and to think about others. Running around a pub, if we'd ever been able to afford to eat out, would have been bad manners at the very least.

My kids' behaviour is excellent when we're out. I have many other failings as a parent, but my kids know not to be twats. At least not when I'm with them. But it takes effort and consistency and many parents just cba. Or worse, think everyone else is going to find their offspring as delightfully spirited as they do.

This is a bugbear of mine too. My kids have ASD - they are high energy, get bored in seconds, squabble, etc. But I have drummed into them since they were toddlers that you stay in your seat when we are in a cafe/restaurant/pub as there's people carrying hot food and drinks around. I always take stuff to entertain them and they do stay in their seats (granted, it's usually tablets now they're older!). My 3yo niece however is allowed to wander about all over 🤦‍♀️
My kids are absolutely not easy going, sitty-downy kind of kids but even they know that they must stay in their seats when we're out. Obviously they have a time limit and I wouldn't expect them to stay for hours on end.

Not harsh at all. I’d have smashed the plate and the mini gravy jug over his head on the way down. Only fair seeing as the little arsehole broke her leg. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Dauncets I want to be your friend 😆but first I’m off to get my gravy prepped for morning!

Parent here. YANBU

I don’t want to be exposed to that just as much as I wouldn’t let my DC do it to other people who are enjoying a meal. When they were little and got cranky I took them out. Now I ensure they have sufficient play things at the table (cards, drawing, whatever) and it’s not an issue.

Couldn't agree more!

Only reason pubs allow children is because it's more profitable

It’s not ‘benign child behaviour’ when they put themselves and others in danger. Control your children ffs!

YANBU

Anyone who thinks it's okay, or lets their child/ren run amok in restaurants/cafes/pubs etc is a shit excuse for a parent. There's zero excuse for it. If your child can't behave and/or you're too lazy to teach them properly, then don't bring them to those locations. Simple.

If a child is struggling to learn a behavior, there are ways to reach them that don’t involve putting them in bad situations. Maybe you have restaurant/fancy dinner night at home once a week where you practice following the rules of dining out. Maybe you go for an ice cream at a place that has tables outside, but practice restaurant rules. Then you slowly work up to a short meal at a non-peak time. You set your kid up for success instead of just throwing them into a situation you know they can’t handle well.

Bloody hell. I wouldn't even go to a pub until my puppy learned to lie calmly under a table. If she moved around too much, barked or was restless then we would leave. She soon learned expectations of behaviour.

If I can do it with a puppy i would expect parents to do it with a human child who understands language. And the 'if they don't experience it they will never learn' comments are ridiculous. Let them experience it and then, if after requests to shut up and/or sit down they don't, then you leave. A child is not learning if you continue sitting there and shrugging your shoulders at them going bananas assuming at some point they'll get it.