Page 3 | Control Your Kids

Time2ChangeName · 2022-05-16T16:34:05+00:00

Children running around in pubs. Personally I never let mine as you have people walking with drinks and food. The pub I’m in has a massive park opposite, take them there to burn off their excess energy after you’ve finished your meal instead of them zooming past me at 100mph. AIBU?

Echobelly · 16/05/2022 19:33

I don't think kids should be running up and down in enclosed spaces, especially ones where people are there to relax. Luckily our kids were quite lazy sods and not big on running up and down, so I do try to be sympathetic to parents who are trying to manage a kid that clearly wants to be in constant motion. But I agree I don't like it when kids are running about indoors and the parents are clearly finding it convenient to ignore the disruption it might cause for others.

maddiemookins16mum · 16/05/2022 19:34

it’s about time pubs returned to being a place grown ups went to.

MadKittenWoman · 16/05/2022 19:35

babyjellyfish · 16/05/2022 18:47

I used to work at Loch Fyne and one day a couple with three kids came in for lunch.

They ordered a lobster platter for two and a bottle of wine, and then the mother told the children to go round the restaurant counting how many fish they could find. (The Loch Fyne logo has three fish on it for a start.)

They caused absolute chaos, loads of mess, only paid for food for two out of the five of them, and left a lousy tip.

Some people are just arseholes and their children's behaviour reflects that.

I used to be an interior designer and designed one of your restaurants!

Ringo11 · 16/05/2022 19:36

I think it depends on the pub. I don't think I'd let my children run around from their own safety point of view but equally it wouldn't bother me if children were doing this.

We love going to Toby Carvery because it's so family friendly and I feel like there's more acceptance of children being able to be children there, which as a parent is nice. My ds is 3.5 and dd is 10 months so mealtimes can be a little busy and messy! Lol
Definitely wouldn't take them to a fancy gastro pub!

CorpseReviver · 16/05/2022 19:37

AccessibleVoid · 16/05/2022 17:44

The real issue here is that controlling kids is not a one off thing if a family are in a bit of a discipline rut it seems a bit unreasonable to say their entire life needs to be put on hold until they've figured it out. Nor are all kids as easily controlled as others, some children are just inherently extremely stubborn, oppositional or impulsive - again, seems a bit unfair that just because someone ended up with a naturally impulsive kid they should never get to go out. Running in a pub isn't the best thing for a kid to be doing of course but certainly they could be doing a lot worse - the "bad behaviour" you see might be a kid on their best behaviour. If you don't want to deal with pretty benign child behaviours go somewhere not frequented by families or go out in the evening when children are in bed.

If you can't manage to stop your child running around, then you don't go to the pub. Or a restaurant. Until you can

CorpseReviver · 16/05/2022 19:39

maddiemookins16mum · 16/05/2022 19:34

it’s about time pubs returned to being a place grown ups went to.

We eat out a lot. Including really nice places as well as lots of gastropubs.

My kids never get out of their seats unless it's to go to the toilet. I don't think families whose children behave as well as adults should be penalised because of those who can't be arsed to try to control them.

AskingforaBaskin · 16/05/2022 19:43

Crumpetloveliness · 16/05/2022 18:48

@AskingforaBaskin fine but by that point they’ve already run off in a restaurant, which could well be a one off but no one would know that and seems in here people are judging against.

When parents continue to ignore their child running around yes would agree that’s not on. However, would disagree that you can stop a child who has potentially been sat down for an hour from getting up/running away from the table as it’s exceeded their tolerance or they’ve spotted something curious. I can’t believe people would be so quick to judge a parent for not being able to stop that happening in the latter situation.

I'm just not buying it. You're explaining chappy parenting.
If a child is small enough that they don't have the impulse control not to bolt from their chair then they are to small not to have to maneuver down.
Also you seat them appropriately.

If the child is older and has the physical ability to bolt out of the blue then I will never believe they didn't see it coming. That's kids personality is set and if their naughty the parents know.

You absolutly can stop them. The moment you see them move you clamp on and rip them back and discipline them.

I absolutly do judge every parent whose child runs in a venue.

Nevergoingtobemrsjones · 16/05/2022 19:49

I work in a well known fast food place
most kids are great but there is one family that come in all the time
they come in,sit down and are promptly glued to their phones while ignoring the kids (they might wetly tell the kids to sit but they ignore them so mum and dad go back to their phones) who then race round while screaming at each other
we hate them coming in-they are not popular at all

Anyway,one day I was carrying a large latte and a tea-when the youngest shot out in front of me,I didn’t see her and I tripped over her
i threw the tea all over a man,who was badly burned and I slipped on the latte
the parents had the bloody cheek to blame me for not looking where I was going-I had but didn’t see the child because I was carrying a tray
they threatened to sue but got nowhere as we have cctv everywhere
the gent thankfully had a full recovery but it shouldn’t have happened-the kids should have been taught not to run round-at 10 and 7 years old,they are old enough to be told

Awalkintime · 16/05/2022 19:50

They don't run around in the hall at school for some reason. They also don't run around at nursery during meal times. Wonder why?

Expectations and routine. If you have no expectations of your child and no intention of teaching them then they will struggle and those are the ones who make excuses for them.

AuntieMarys · 16/05/2022 19:51

Shit parenting. Easier to ignore bad behaviour and neck your pinot.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 16/05/2022 20:00

Not a problem...

Ringo11 · 16/05/2022 20:04

I think pp's who are suggesting that children shouldn't go to pubs or restaurants until they can behave is unfair. Or the children should be seen and not heard attitude. I totally understand that parents need to pay attention to their children at all times and running around where it puts themselves and others in danger isn't acceptable. However, it's equally unfair to judge parents for their children not sitting at the table the whole time or being a bit loud at times. But how about children with SEN who may need to move around. Are we saying that they shouldn't be in pubs?!

When I was a child, my parents often took us to Brewers Fayre pubs as they had great children's play areas - indoor and outdoor. I don't know if they exist now but they were ideal. Maybe if more pubs and restaurants were family friendly with play areas etc, that would help.

AskingforaBaskin · 16/05/2022 20:07

Ringo11 · 16/05/2022 20:04

I think pp's who are suggesting that children shouldn't go to pubs or restaurants until they can behave is unfair. Or the children should be seen and not heard attitude. I totally understand that parents need to pay attention to their children at all times and running around where it puts themselves and others in danger isn't acceptable. However, it's equally unfair to judge parents for their children not sitting at the table the whole time or being a bit loud at times. But how about children with SEN who may need to move around. Are we saying that they shouldn't be in pubs?!

When I was a child, my parents often took us to Brewers Fayre pubs as they had great children's play areas - indoor and outdoor. I don't know if they exist now but they were ideal. Maybe if more pubs and restaurants were family friendly with play areas etc, that would help.

I don't believe there is a middle ground. Regardless of the excuse or reason a child does not have the right to endanger someone in their place of work.

If your child can not remain at their seat they should not be there.

And don't over exaggerate nobody thinks they should be seen and not heard that again is just crappy parenting.

PeekAtYou · 16/05/2022 20:09

Yanbu

Dd works as a barista in a did friendly coffee shop and worries about spilling hot coffee on kids allowed to run around. Strangely the dogs are never out of control (she's worked there for a year full time)

It's part of lax parenting imo. She says that many parents shamelessly leave tables trashed with food squashed and crumbled everywhere with no attempt to clean up. Plus she has lots of other stories like parents allowing kids to draw (with felt tips) on tables, change nappies on seats when there's a baby changing loo...

JorisBonson · 16/05/2022 20:09

Ringo11 · 16/05/2022 20:04

I think pp's who are suggesting that children shouldn't go to pubs or restaurants until they can behave is unfair. Or the children should be seen and not heard attitude. I totally understand that parents need to pay attention to their children at all times and running around where it puts themselves and others in danger isn't acceptable. However, it's equally unfair to judge parents for their children not sitting at the table the whole time or being a bit loud at times. But how about children with SEN who may need to move around. Are we saying that they shouldn't be in pubs?!

When I was a child, my parents often took us to Brewers Fayre pubs as they had great children's play areas - indoor and outdoor. I don't know if they exist now but they were ideal. Maybe if more pubs and restaurants were family friendly with play areas etc, that would help.

But it's an adult environment. I don't have children so don't go to Brewers Fayre, Hungry Horse etc.

PeekAtYou · 16/05/2022 20:13

I think pp's who are suggesting that children shouldn't go to pubs or restaurants until they can behave is unfair.

It's unfair if businesses are sued for accidents caused by children not sat in seats. If a child can't behave then parents should pick alternatives like pubs with play areas, getting drive thru, having food delivered to their home instead... My kids have been the kids who can't behave and there were many meals where one parent had to take the child out or food was packed into a doggy bag and eaten elsewhere.

JudgeJ · 16/05/2022 20:17

AccessibleVoid · 16/05/2022 17:44

The real issue here is that controlling kids is not a one off thing if a family are in a bit of a discipline rut it seems a bit unreasonable to say their entire life needs to be put on hold until they've figured it out. Nor are all kids as easily controlled as others, some children are just inherently extremely stubborn, oppositional or impulsive - again, seems a bit unfair that just because someone ended up with a naturally impulsive kid they should never get to go out. Running in a pub isn't the best thing for a kid to be doing of course but certainly they could be doing a lot worse - the "bad behaviour" you see might be a kid on their best behaviour. If you don't want to deal with pretty benign child behaviours go somewhere not frequented by families or go out in the evening when children are in bed.

If a family can't keep their chidren safe and under control in a pub thenthey should buy a takeaway, a few cans and stay at home,

JudgeJ · 16/05/2022 20:23

ProclivityForPyrotechnics · 16/05/2022 17:48

There's a pub near us that does amazing food. Last year a child ran into a waitress and she poured hot gravy all over him. She was also burned and she broke her leg in the fall. There are signs everywhere saying 'control your kids we serve hot food'

The family are suing the pub for injuring their child. It's a massive thing in the village. No one is in support of them.

It was their fault their kid got hurt

Of course they're suing, a nice little earner for them We were once in a restaurant where a couple of brats were zooming around, the manager asked the parents to keep them at their table and got a mouthful from the male breeder. I made a point of giving the manager our details, in case they needed them!

KatherineofGaunt · 16/05/2022 20:24

Ringo11 · 16/05/2022 20:04

I think pp's who are suggesting that children shouldn't go to pubs or restaurants until they can behave is unfair. Or the children should be seen and not heard attitude. I totally understand that parents need to pay attention to their children at all times and running around where it puts themselves and others in danger isn't acceptable. However, it's equally unfair to judge parents for their children not sitting at the table the whole time or being a bit loud at times. But how about children with SEN who may need to move around. Are we saying that they shouldn't be in pubs?!

When I was a child, my parents often took us to Brewers Fayre pubs as they had great children's play areas - indoor and outdoor. I don't know if they exist now but they were ideal. Maybe if more pubs and restaurants were family friendly with play areas etc, that would help.

If a child cannot sit still for the duration of a meal and has the potential to become a dangerous hazard to staff walking around with hot food and drinks, then no, that child should not be in a pub. Take them somewhere child-friendly.

As with other things when you become a parent, some things you have to put aside for a few years. If you're child can't behave in a pub then you need not to go to the pub until they can. It's not a human right to go to a pub. Going somewhere child-friendly or staying at home are perfectly viable options.

And I say this as a mum of a 3-year-old who hasn't eaten out in a pub since he was 1.

AliceW89 · 16/05/2022 20:34

However, it's equally unfair to judge parents for their children not sitting at the table the whole time or being a bit loud at times

I don’t think there is any ground for kids wondering round somewhere serving food to be honest. I totally agree that expecting tiny children to be still and quiet for long periods isn’t appropriate. But then they need to be taken outside, for their own safety and for the experience of other diners. We generally only go to pubs with gardens now for this reason.

myuterusistryingtokillme · 16/05/2022 20:36

Ringo11 · 16/05/2022 20:04

I think pp's who are suggesting that children shouldn't go to pubs or restaurants until they can behave is unfair. Or the children should be seen and not heard attitude. I totally understand that parents need to pay attention to their children at all times and running around where it puts themselves and others in danger isn't acceptable. However, it's equally unfair to judge parents for their children not sitting at the table the whole time or being a bit loud at times. But how about children with SEN who may need to move around. Are we saying that they shouldn't be in pubs?!

When I was a child, my parents often took us to Brewers Fayre pubs as they had great children's play areas - indoor and outdoor. I don't know if they exist now but they were ideal. Maybe if more pubs and restaurants were family friendly with play areas etc, that would help.

But surely there should be some places where people can escape other peoples misbehaving children? Why does everywhere have to accommodate kids these days?

Granted at a brewers fayre it is to be expected, but if it doesn't have a play area, then perhaps kids shouldn't be there if they can't behave.

There is nothing worse than having a child free evening and having it ruined by other peoples crappy parenting

babyjellyfish · 16/05/2022 20:41

But how about children with SEN who may need to move around. Are we saying that they shouldn't be in pubs?!

Is this a serious question?!

Of course they shouldn't be in pubs!

AlternativePerspective · 16/05/2022 20:43

IMO children should be banned in pubs apart from if the pub has an outdoor seating area.

Pubs are for adults. If you want to eat out with your children take them to Pizza Hut.

This is why so many people have child free weddings.

comealongponds · 16/05/2022 20:44

If children have SEN needs that mean they need to move around then a) a pub isn’t the right place for them and b) if parents are adamant their little darling needs to be in the pub, they need to take them outside to move if required, not just let them run riot inside

Ringo11 · 16/05/2022 20:44

Just to clarify my last comment. I do agree that running around is dangerous to everyone and I wouldn't let my children do it. However a pp said that her child will only get up if they need to go to the toilet. Whilst that sounds ideal, it's not always possible. We took our children to a family friendly American diner last week. My 3.5 ds did not run around or leave our table at all but he did fidget on the seat and get up on his knees and go under the table a couple of times. Played a bit loudly with his toys at times. We gave him reminders etc but he wasn't being naughty, just a child. I personally don't think that's awful but it sounds like pp's wouldn't tolerate that.

But as a parent, I think you should just be sensible and respectful where you take your children. Yes to Toby Carvery or Pizza Express, no to a nice, quiet country pub.

Because there's nothing worse than feeling like you're being judged by other people in a pub or restaurant for your parenting. I remember when our son was about 18 months, we took him to a family frienly tea room. He became a bit irritable in his high chair during the meal, nothing awful or loud but we needed to eat quick and go. The couple next to us just spent the whole time watching us and making insensitive comments. It was horrible.