I'm jealous of people who get inheritances

[Barnabee]

Yeah I know you'll all pile on telling me I should expect nothing. But some people have lovely families who want to pass something forwards to help their children. I'll never have that.

The premise behind this is that inheritance is somehow easy money. The reality is that it generally means that you've lost someone very dear.

YANBU to want free money. Who doesn't. YABTotallyU to present inheritance as a pain free way of obtaining it.

Whether they leave an inheritance or not does not stop them from dying!

Exactly! These responses always come up with this subject, as if wishing you had the security of an inheritance means you’re wishing your family dead 🙄

Of course YANBU OP. I inherited a truly life-changing amount and I thank my lucky stars every day for the privilege. DH and I both work in low/average-paid public sector jobs and with the way things are going there’s no way we could’ve ensured security for our own DC without that money. Many posters suggesting you simply “make sure your DC inherit well from you” seem blissfully unaware of the fact that many working Gen X/Y people will simply never achieve similar living standards to their baby boomer parents, who were able to buy decent property on average incomes. Add impending recession to the mix and it’s even less likely.

I hate this trite response. Your dad dies, you get 300k, of course you would likely prefer to have your dad. But that's not the point.

Dead dad and 300k Vs dead dad and 0k ..which of those would you choose?

I think it is a shame when people don’t get an inheritance, and not because I think that people should get a prize just because a family member died, but for me an inheritance is like a parting gift.

I’LL EXPLAIN WHAT I MEAN:

My nana died and left a small home (worth almost nothing) to her three grandchildren. We were able to sell that property, and two of us received enough to put down a deposit on a house (14k each)

When my parents die, I will likely receive an inheritance, and that will either be used to pay for their grandchildren’s house deposit, or great grand children, depending on how long we are lucky enough to have them with us.

I think that people should enjoy their money whilst they are alive, and I hope my parents do that. But at the same time, they should never sell their house because that’s their security. So anyone with parents who own their own homes should (in theory) receive an inheritance unless the parents goes into a care home.

If everyone aimed to pass down a home to their children, then they would be able to sell it and provide a good start for the deceased’s grandchildren or great grandchildren.

BUT if I get nothing from my parents, then I’ll deal with it, just like OP will. There is no problem with being disappointed or jealous of someone getting an inheritance when you don’t, just as long as you aren’t rude and vocal about it.

OP YANBU

YABU. My friend inherited enough from her parents to buy a house outright - she'd give all that money back to have her parents alive again. They died within 4 months when she was in her early 20s.

Never be jealous of someone getting an inheritance. It always means that someone has died.

The premise behind this is that inheritance is somehow easy money. The reality is that it generally means that you've lost someone very dear.

It's absolutely easy money! The beneficiary has done nothing at all for it.

I don't have any parents to inherit from, I grew up in care.

YANBU, OP. It's a lottery and some people win (sometimes over and over again) and some people never win. It's not fair and inherited wealth damages us as a society by maintaining privilege. I see people who've done very little in terms of work or contribution to society living lives of luxury while others get nowhere, purely because of inheritances. Most decent people want a fairer society and a fairer society would involve limitations on how much people could inherit.

Never be jealous of someone getting an inheritance. It always means that someone has died.

No shit, really?!

This was part of the reason I took my final salary pension & changed it into a SIPP. It is one of a few sources of income for retirement, but whatever I don’t leave will pass to my son eventually. The pension would be 50% to spouse, then nothing to adult child on my death. DH is substantially older than I so this seems to make the most sense for us. Hopefully we will have paid off our house to pass on to him too. My parents never inherited anything , they saved a lot to get on to the property ladder. We saved our own house deposit too. Had to go without for a while to get it saved up.

Well duh. But people die either way, money or not. It's not the point.
Dead is dead. Better you get cash too

But whoever made the money worked hard for it, and perhaps made specific decisions to ensure this would happen. So it may not be ‘easy’ money..
it’s a bit like the free speech argument- everyone’s for it when it’s what you agree with. I’m fairly sure absolutely no one who has posted on this would refuse an inheritance.
And everyone dies. With it without money.

My cousin inherited 250k in her mid 20s. She bought a home, sold a home, travelled around the world, got married, got divorced, did a second degree, and at 40 every penny of it has gone, and she has nothing to show for it. And is not due any further inheritance.

Occasionally money that is easy come, is also easily gone, and not always a blessing.

Flame away but the only chance my dd9 and I had of getting a forever home was an inheritance from
My daughters grandparents. Granny is in a very expensive care home now so every penny will go on that.

I have had many losses and inherited nothing
DB and I had to pay nursing home 3rd party top ups for DF
DM has Alzheimer’s and DB and I provide some care but pay for more - we will not inherit much as she is in a housing association sheltered housing property and has few assets
I would love to help my DC out with inheritance but it will only happen if I die without needing care

If it help OP the average age to receive an inheritance in the UK is 61.

My parents will split what they have between their kids (if there is anything left) when they have gone. I think that is perfectly natural and it is what we will do for our children. My husband's parents made it very clear when we were in our early 20s that we would never inherit a penny, even though they have inherited well themselves. They have always seen us as a source of generous presents and they are manipulative. Consequently we see far less of them. Their approach to inheritance isn't what harmed our relationship with them, but it is indicative of an attitude to life and relationships that we can't relate to. Fundamentally I believe that everything that is mine is also my children's. Just as I get a great deal of pleasure out of giving them opportunities now, so I would want them to keep what I have learnt when I am gone. Otherwise, quite frankly, I wouldn't bother to work so hard.

I'll have my mum back. Couldn't care less about the money.

"YABU. A friend of mine inherited a lot - her Dad died when she was 12, then her Mum in her early 30s.

She’d much rather still have her parents"

But the point is that this happens to some people and they get no inheritance. She is lucky to get the inheritance, not lucky to be bereaved. Her life may have been even harder if she hadn't have got the inheritance. That's the point. Some people when they lose their parents get an inheritance, some do not. It is harder to be bereaved when you have to pay for funerals by getting a loan. The OP is not jealous of people who have had someone die.

Perfectly normal to be envious. I and my friends are at an age where our parents are thankfully alive and well. But a few friends have inherited substantial amounts from older relatives who were childless, and it has been a huge benefit almost out of the blue. It won't happen in my family (masses of kids in each generation, no money to speak of) and I am a little envious.

But why is it that inheriting money is the only way you can get a house for you and your daughter? It’s a very unreliable way of getting an income.

I mean you could donate it to charity?

That sounds like money very well spent!

I don’t really understand this being jealous of other people.

Personally I’d love to have my health, and a secure job. But feeling jealous of people who do has never occurred to me. Inheritance is not on my wish list - it’s so random.

Wherever you are there are always people better off than you.