I'm jealous of people who get inheritances

[Barnabee]

Yeah I know you'll all pile on telling me I should expect nothing. But some people have lovely families who want to pass something forwards to help their children. I'll never have that.

How dare you, how dare you @Robinni

You have no idea, no idea what i had to do to keep my mum in a decent council property. I had to fight for years with the council to get any repairs done, any modifications done, then i had to fight to get her into sheltered housing. You clearly have no idea how someone in council housing lives, you think only someone with property has problems? My 85 yr old mum was being taken to court when she died, because of never ending fuck ups with her flat, her bills, repairs, the lot. Councils have no money for anything and anything they do repair or give out is the results of years of battling. Which continued after her death, when i was already on my knees.

So don't dare tell me its a case of just handing over keys.

Yes @ssd, that was crass. Local authorities give you so little time to clear a house out too and won’t even allow you to pay an extra week or two’s rent to buy breathing space. It nearly broke my friend when her mum died. 💐

I have benefitted from several inheritances and yes it has helped me greatly in life. I did nothing to deserve this money, so yeah I can see why it seems intrinsically unfair.

Absolutely @Blossomtoes

I had to clear mums house alone in a week after her funeral. It did break me. My siblings went abroad straight after the funeral, to one of their homes. I dealt with everything before and after mum died. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.

@ssd no offence was meant, obviously you had a lot of involvement in your Mum’s life to ensure she was adequately housed.

We’ve dealt with cases where people in social housing and privately owned.

What I was talking about was post death - when it is social housing you have a limited amount to spend/do yourself and a set date where you hand back the keys and that’s it over with. If there were additional unpaid bills in your case that is unfortunate but symptomatic of your Mum’s support requirements.

In the case of an inheritance, if multiple properties are involved, the executor/beneficiaries are responsible for maintenance and management until the point of sale. You are talking tens of thousands in maintenance and bills until the point of sale/probate/resolution of legal dispute to the satisfaction of all parties. It’s a completely different undertaking and the family involved are responsible for paying for and carrying out things, not the council. Which brings into question as to how beneficial the inheritance is, that was my point.

If the inheritance was of no benefit to you, could you have forfeited your part of it to one of the other beneficiaries and absolve yourself of the responsibility? Then you wouldn’t have had the awful hassle of your inheritance.

@ReadyToMoveIt scenario as described is what I’ve seen in a professional and personal context.

In some cases you are talking about somebody getting an inheritance of say 100k for example, sibling wants to squabble about it so there’s 40k in legal costs gone, 20k in maintenance costs, another 20k in lost earnings for all the time spent to maintain and do things, and it’s 7 years later by the time everything closed so the 20k you’re left with is diminished in value.

Most estates closed in 1-2yrs but quite full on for some and bad feeling left. As I said earlier - yes you can pay someone to do clearance - but often people don’t want strangers going through personal items of loved ones. And you can decide to give money to charity, but then what happens if a sibling takes issue and takes it to court as they want the money?

As much as it can be a blessing and a real help for some, for others it can make their lives unavoidably very difficult for a period of time with limited reward which is not enviable.

I may be nieve but how much maintenance does a property just sitting stagnant really need. If it needs lots of work doing just sell it for less to compensate for that and save yourself the hassle.

Sorry I just don't think I can be convinced that the hassle of admin around a high value estate is something that requires any sympathy, the bereavement itself does. But if say two seperare people had lost their parents, one was left nothing the second was left 25% of a high value estate, the latter are not going to say to the person who had nothing "oh you think you've got it bad, before I can inherit my half a million I've got to arrange some builders to come in to fix the roof".

I can't believe all these posters moaning about how tough it is to sort out a massive estate. Just hand it all over to your favourite charity, I'm sure they'd have lawyers do all the work for you and you could walk away with no money and no work. And yes I am being serious. If the money isn't worth the hassle, don't do it. If arguing with siblings isn't worth the hassle, just let them have everything and walk away.

What is being talked about is doing up a house to maximise how much it sells for. That is a choice. And if it does not increase the price it is not worth doing.
Even if it does increase the price, if it's too much hassle, just don't do it, sell as is.

@lameasahorse @123ROLO

What is being talked about is not maximising profit. Although many do this as well.

Many elderly do not keep up with renovations in their old age, which can leave a property unsaleable (mortgage company won’t approve it for buyer), so for it to be sold renovation is required.

Then there is when beneficiary A is happy to sell at a lower price but beneficiary B disagrees and wants money put in to bring it up to market value.

Then there is another scenario where inheritance is a range of rental properties, so Joe Bloggs suddenly has sitting tenants within contract, and is culpable for maintenance repair and property management. Also if any harm comes to tenants due to lack of maintenance then they are culpable. Money can be held in estate so has to come out of beneficiary’s pocket to pay for it.. no guarantee recouped in full later.

Then there are all the associated bills, standard legal costs, potential for legal problems, family issues etc.

This is just a taster of what goes on. As I said for some inheritance is a great thing, for others it is complicated…. It is not always this dream scenario and solver of all problems!

Really anyone leaving money would be better to do so in life to avoid difficulties, but then they get old, and can’t face moving or the upheaval of this that or the other.

Also @Kendodd I’ve seen arguments between families amount to so much legally than not only have they lost their inheritance but they risk losing their own house due to mounting costs, it isn’t as simple as walk away for some.

I agree this is awful, saw it happen with a family member, terrible. Emotionally it is the worst thing to go through in a condensed period and the fact that they treat the houses as a conveyor belt, has to be ready for the next occupant with no consideration for your feelings.

However, it surely was something you would have known about as this is standard practice with council houses unless the deceased is passing on the tenancy to a family member - which is possible.

Clearing out is not an easy thing, last relative we were responsible for we did it before they passed as just couldn’t have coped after they died…

I’ve worked in care and heard a lot of inheritance stories there and from friends/lawyers… I don’t think it’s easy for anyone no matter the circumstances.

@Robinni all these examples you are talking about are not the big standard inheritance. Yes some cases will be agg but anyone can walk away from it.

• I don’t think the passing of a loved one is easy no matter the circumstances (inheritance or no).

Benefit of inheritance itself depends largely on how organised the deceased was, and the people who are due to inherit. Can be good/bad.

I agree standard you have the family home. However most I’ve known recently there have been complications with holiday lets or second homes, even an apartment abroad. And trying to sort out various accounts squirrelled away… In some of the examples it’s people who were raised on a council estate, standard jobs, but we’re lucky and penny wise. In any account the siblings tend to be the most problematic; some just downright mean and horrible about specific items, some going as far as legal action and people involved not able to walk away as their own assets are jeopardised and they have to defend themselves. It can get very nasty….

But for some relatively straightforward and beneficial.

We had no estate to divide therefore no inheritance. Ive gone nc with my siblings. I couldn't take any more. Too much hurt to explain. I haven't any other family apart from dh and dcs. Its not a case either of no inheritance no fighting or families breaking up. If only life was that easy.

Manual labourer and a mid level admin assistant!!! Bought their first house early, saved and bought a small amount of shares, built on them until they got a deposit from this for apartment and rent it out to pay the 2nd mortgage!

Nowhere near Dr or accountant types, from an estate! It can be done!

I don’t think I was saying people should feel sorry for those who inherit. Just showing that it is not always this dream the OP and a lot of people think it is.

However most I’ve known recently there have been complications with holiday lets or second homes, even an apartment abroad. And trying to sort out various accounts squirrelled away… In some of the examples it’s people who were raised on a council estate, standard jobs, but we’re lucky and penny wise

The main luck was buying at the right time. My house has doubled in value but I wouldn't have it without help initially & I was lucky to buy before prices went crazy.

It can get very nasty….

people get greedy

If they made enough money to buy more than one house they had decent paid jobs. Maybe "standard jobs" of Dr or accountant.

I know lots of people like this with normal jobs. They just bought yrs ago & then downsized or inherited which they bought additional properties with.