I'm jealous of people who get inheritances

[Barnabee]

Yeah I know you'll all pile on telling me I should expect nothing. But some people have lovely families who want to pass something forwards to help their children. I'll never have that.

I’ve been sat watching keeping up appearances, I’ve got Hyacinth and her hoiking bosoms on the brain.

Oh for fucks sake. I am not trying to justify anything. I don’t care what they do with their money. They can stick it on a bonfire for all
I care, they aren’t my parents.

Stop going after me like a twat. Would good like MILs email address? You can badger her about her decisions instead.

Jealousy is completely human [I say human but it's easily observable in any halfway intelligent animal species you could care mention], what matters is that you use it positively or certainly at least don't let it affect you negatively.

@Barnabee I don't think you're unreasonable, I can relate to your feelings.
I didn't get any inheritance whatsoever when my grandparents or even parents died. My parents rented a council house, had no assets (not even a car) and they were in their overdraft on their bank account. I didn't get left anything of "value" as they didn't own anything of value, apart from sentimental valuables such as photo albums. I had to fund the remaining costs of house clearance/funerals/ out of my own pocket, which was very tough on top of dealing with grief of losing parents.
It's so, so hard losing a relative and having an inheritance does not make it any easier, and an inheritance in itself can bring it's own stress. But OP i do get what you mean, but try not to think about it that way, and think of how you can build an inheritance for your children. and remember....money isn't everything (although it seems it!, it really isnt!)

Here’s another tip. When you resort to insults and swearing, that’s when you have lost the argument.

😄 oh okay then. I wasn’t arguing.

But you seem to be the sort of person who could start an argument in a paper bag. Honestly, the anger over another total strangers life, not even my life, that of my inlaws.

Maybe write a book of tips?

Thanks for the distraction anyway. I’ve needed it this afternoon.

Dealing with a few bills and a house clearance for a council house is done in a few weeks. You have little responsibility like handing back a private rental.

Dealing with the clearance - and ongoing maintenance (roof repair, damp, redone oration, security, rates etc etc) of multiple properties until the point of sale. And legal battles going on for years that often ensue is very costly, time consuming and much more stressful by comparison. A substantial inheritance has substantial costs and is often divided amongst multiple beneficiaries so questionable if the time, work and costs are worth the lump sum given in the end.

Why isn't she eligible for continuing care (nhs funding) as she has a diagnosis of dementia?

The criteria means that not many people are eligible. And it’s extremely hard to get.

You can’t get it just because you have dementia.

Why isn't she eligible for continuing care (nhs funding) as she has a diagnosis of dementia?

Because the criteria are virtually impossible to meet. My mum didn’t meet them because she wasn’t aggressive and violent. She just quietly and gently faded away. I’m glad we paid for her care, it meant we could choose a care home that was perfect for her, where she was treated with respect and tenderness. It’s also why I’m glad that I’ll be paying for mine if I need it. Money buys choice.

@LeeMucklowesCurtains having property transferred over while retaining right of residence, setting up home as a business with children as directors, setting up a trust etc. All very commonly used loopholes to avoid care home cost drain. Anyone with half a brain who has money does this or alternatively sets up an asset such as a rental/shares to cover costs as even a decent pension won’t do it! It’s wealth planning/forward thinking. The ethics of the route chosen are up for dispute but people getting angry about it won’t change the fact it is common practice and discussed in solicitors offices up and down the country!

I think it's completely natural to feel that way, it's a huge factor in inequality.

If property is transferred with right of residence the occupant must pay market rent or it’s null and void. Local authorities are on top of all these tricks and there’s no limit to the time they can go back. A lot of people who think they’re being clever in basically defrauding the taxpayer have a hell of a shock in store.

It’s not either/or though, is it?

To be fair, it would be even more shit if they had left me with no money.

exactly

Jealous of people who have lost relatives?

How do you get to that conclusion?

I couldn't have bought my London home without help, help that came from inheritance.

Are people purposefully missing the point?

I didn't realise how uncomfortable people were with the inequality being pointed out.

I’ve seen the ‘starting a fight in a paper bag’ attempted insult before, in the last few days, also from you but aimed at somebody else who got the better of you. Oh, the inert fury of the inept.

I’ll stop now because mocking the afflicted is bad for one’s soul.

And I'm jealous of naturally stunningly beautiful people...but I get over it and live my life. We could all get jealous over something..why are you letting it live in your head?

I imagine that growing up without a stable family unit is much more damaging psychologically than not being stunningly beautiful.

And I'm jealous of naturally stunningly beautiful people...but I get over it and live my life. We could all get jealous over something..why are you letting it live in your head?

How do you read a post about the OP who grew up in care & respond as above? 🤔

I think you've misunderstood how death works.

Yeah it is unfair. I know people who get windfalls from parents, it's nice for them. Maybe I'm not jealous because I'm set to inherit a house, if I can care for my mother myself or she dies before needing care. Only because we were forced to buy our council home and it sold for massive profit after. She owns a house outright now. We had to buy or leave or rent would go up.

Try looking at life differently. Do not focus on what you don't have. Instead focus on what you do have, and how to get what you want.

Where did I use that term before out of interest?

It’s something I read on here a long time ago, but I’ve not used it myself on here, unless I’ve had a massive lapse in memory. Unless you are mixing me up with someone else, or thinking I’ve name changed, which I haven’t.

Are you Okay? Because you come across as a bit unhappy. This is just an anonymous discussion forum. There’s no need to get so angry at people.

You seem to be taking far too much time thinking about me in any case. And as for “got the better of you”, I can assure you that I don’t pay much mind to things said by anonymous people on
internet forums, this is merely a distraction from real life and a place to vent to others.