I'm jealous of people who get inheritances

[Barnabee]

Yeah I know you'll all pile on telling me I should expect nothing. But some people have lovely families who want to pass something forwards to help their children. I'll never have that.

Not all inheritances are large. Both of my parents passed away in 2020. There was no house (they were in LA housing), left tome and my siblings. After everything was paid off we were left with 7k each.

tome= to me...my spacebar is fucked.

MIL is 90, has Alzheimer's and CHF, is currently on Palliative care and won't last 6 months.
It's just DH and his brother. They will receive approx €300k each. Palliative care is free here.
I cannot wait!
Ever since FIL died (5 years ago), we have looked after her.
She didn't go into a nursing home. We (between us) managed her care .

You are refreshingly honest

@ZekeZeke it's just my dd's dad and his brother so the money will be split equally. Mother in law is also 90 but in fine fettle although she is in a care home. That's where all our inheritance will go.

I love MIL but she is a shell of the wonderful woman she was.
Dementia is so cruel I wish euthanasia was legal. No quality of life, bed bound. Its a horrible way to go. We put our lives on hold for the past 5 years. I'm going to enjoy spending that money

Well nobody lives forever do they - I don't think OP was suggesting bumping anyone off at a premature age to get their hands on their money.

When my dad died I was in my 20s. All I inherited was his debt and the hassle of sorting his rubbish. He was a violent and vile man and I'd not seen him for 20 years. If I had received any inheritance, I'd rather not. I'd rather have had a loving father.

My mum died recently. She has v kindly left me money. I had a strange relationship with her because she was abusive, but I loved her and she loved me, and ultimately I would swap all the money she left me for a few more hugs with her which I will never have again

I will teach my children the value of love. That I love them and they love me. There is no greater gift. I will try and provide them an iheritance, but loving parents is more important

Don't be jealous OP, you know nothing about these people's lives. Inheritance is one small chapter of someone's life and sometimes people would have happily swapped it for alternative lives, or just one more hug from their relative.

Money can't come to the grave with you

Some people are very weird about talking about inheritance. Everybody dies. Accusing people of wishing their relatives dead (or of being jealous of the fact that someone else's relative has died) just because they dare to mention their potential inheritance, or have been made aware of will arrangements by their relatives, is utterly ridiculous.

My parents talk perfectly cheerfully, openly and unasked about what will come to us when they die. We are well aware that money can be eaten up by care etc, but that doesn't mean we can't think about what we might use the inheritance for if we get it.

Oh and YANBU OP. It's perfectly normal to be a bit envious of someone being given a load of money.

my colleague got an inheritance from a great uncle she'd never met...I'm jealous of that!

It's all the luck of the draw.

Me? Sweet FA.

Cousins? AFAIK, a veritable shit tonne of money is likely to end up their way. And my God they don't half know it...

Do I resent it? No, unlike my mother who has a chip big enough to harvest resting upon her shoulders.

It's just how it is. Kids from certain backgrounds will always have the opportunity to do better.

This.

MN is full of the deliberately obtuse.

About 15 years ago I worked for an Estate Agency. We had a very large, but very run down house on a super desirable road to sell, the old boy who owned it was dead. It was loosely valued at £650,000 even then (London) and was left to a cousin of the deceased. The cousin had had no contact with him and this legacy came as a total surprise.

Loads of interest in the house, loads of offers. But when the survey came back there were SO many issues - woodworm, dry rot, new roof needed, all the things that the EA can't see on a cursory walk round. So the house was down valued by something like £75,000.

The person who won the bidding still wanted to buy but wanted to negotiate over the price (understandably! down valuation by £75,000).

And these greedy old (yes they were elderly) cousins wouldn't budge. So the original buyer pulled out and the house went back on the market and eventually sold a long time later for under £500,000.

No point to my story, sorry OP, other than people can be very weird about inheritance.

@A580Hojas

Pray do tell the name of this reputable estate agent.

I've told my parents there'd better be nothing left for me to inherit (I'm an only child), they should spend it all enjoying their retirement. They worked for nearly 100 years between them. Why should I get any of it? I have my own income.

So the cousin only got under 500k @A580Hojas ?

Shit happens eh

Thing is, if you came from loving parents, of course you wouldn't swap them. I wasn't left an inheritance but i wouldn't have swapped my parents for ones with money. But the unfairness of someone getting thousands of pounds and you getting nothing is unfair. And theres nothing you can do. And theres nothing they did either, its just life.

Of course we can understand that. But you had no choice over them dying. We all would love another cuddle from a dead parent. But we can’t. But some inherit money that can make their future lives a lot easier. Im assuming you gave your inheritance to the local cats home.

Most people I know either retire, go part time or help their dc with house deposits. So yes it is a good thing to inherit.
If we get any (potentially £100k) I'd like to have a few special holidays and then give as much away to the dc as possible and actually see them enjoy it before we get too old.

Most people I know either retire, go part time or help their dc with house deposits. So yes it is a good thing to inherit.

Well, thanks for that insight. That will show all of the people on the thread arguing that inheriting money a terrible thing that they were quite mistaken.

People are very defensive when it comes to attaining money through winning, inheriting, or basically any wealth they did not earn.

Lost my mum April this year. She had terminal cancer, and until the last few months was quite 'well'.

It made her happy to know the sale of her property would leave us children a sum of money (maybe 60 - 70k each). Come the end she spoke about how glad she was that things may become financially better for us.

I miss her so very much, the last few years I (being the youngest and only daughter) and my husband were the main people to help her with things. The hole she has left is massive!!

Having said that, the money that I will be getting, will make things easier financially as she had hoped. Me and hubbys mortgage will be cleared, car loan paid off, and some will be divided between our 3 children.

No, it will never make up for the loss I feel, but it does make me feel glad that near the end she could find a silver lining to her situation.

I think a lot of people feel sort of guilty getting an inheritance, like they can't admit to themselves that the money has improved their lives in whatever way it does. I don't know if guilty is the right word, uneasy maybe. Thats why they are so quick to insist that they'd rather have their parent/friend back. Maybe they feel they have no right to the money. Or if they get pleasure from whatever they spend it on, it means theyd rather have the money than the person. When no one is saying that at all. Of course we'd all usually have the person back, in most cases. Whether you inherit or not, most people would give anything for another day with their loved ones. I know i would.

Mn always seemed full of people who's parents left a home to be inherited and there was never any thought that some of us lost our parents and were grieving and didn't have the obligatory inheritance. Its as if generations of home ownership happened to everyone. And if you didnt get an inheritance you weren't allowed to be jealous of someone who did and took it for granted. And if you did get an inheritance you couldn't admit what a help it was you had to keep insisting you'd rather have the person than the money. I just think that is secret guilt talking. As surely we all know that we'd all rather have the person back, whatever you get or not.