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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No photos of new house

152 replies

beetuljoos · 15/05/2022 16:07

DP and I are in the process of renovating our home. Huge job, big changes, lots of effort involved. Very proud of the result. DP is absolutely adamant I cannot put any photos of it on my private instagram account (maybe 200 followers, all people I know). I want to share a few snapshots of it. I don't mean constantly, but share a before/after of a finished room once we complete one perhaps. Is he right?

OP posts:
UsernameNotAvailableHmm · 15/05/2022 16:10

Is he worried about being traced through photos being put online?

SickAndTiredAgain · 15/05/2022 16:12

Hard to say if he's being unreasonable without knowing his reason - has he just said no, or has he given you a reason behind it?

worraliberty · 15/05/2022 16:12

You've forgotten to say why?

dizzydizzydizzy · 15/05/2022 16:13

It's not a case of who is right or wrong. It is a case his wishes are different. I think you need to respect his wishes unless you can agree some kind of compromise.

LoveSpringDaffs · 15/05/2022 16:13

Have you asked him why?

have you asked yourself why you're with someone who is so controlling, who thinks they can tell what to do, not simply discuss his concerns & ask what you think??

DashboardConfessional · 15/05/2022 16:14

Is he right? About what? You've not given a reason.

Mally100 · 15/05/2022 16:14

I'm with your dh. It's such am invasion of privacy. I Mean I would hate for 2000 people to know what my bedroom or bathroom looks like!

Snowiscold · 15/05/2022 16:15

What’s his reasoning? I don’t have Instagram, but I can’t see that you’re doing something wrong or dangerous here - unless you have diamond-encrusted taps on show.

DashboardConfessional · 15/05/2022 16:16

Mally100 · 15/05/2022 16:14

I'm with your dh. It's such am invasion of privacy. I Mean I would hate for 2000 people to know what my bedroom or bathroom looks like!

It's 200, not 2000. Which is a fairly normal spread across friends and family.

Original poster
beetuljoos · 15/05/2022 16:17

We are far from rolling in money- no gold baths or swimming pools on show here. His reason was 'it's private' and that was that.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 15/05/2022 16:18

I really don't think I know 200 people well enough to think they'd be interested in what I have/haven't done to my home?

Totally not the point, I know 😊

User354354 · 15/05/2022 16:20

beetuljoos · 15/05/2022 16:17

We are far from rolling in money- no gold baths or swimming pools on show here. His reason was 'it's private' and that was that.

He is right. And to be honest, no one really wants to see pictures of your house.

Darkstar4855 · 15/05/2022 16:20

Is there any particular reason why you would want to put photos up? Do you really need to show off how amazing it is?

girlmom21 · 15/05/2022 16:21

I was quite uncomfortable with the estate agent posting the pictures of our house online when it went up for sale. You know all the neighbours will have a nosey but that's still my home and I don't want everyone to know the ins and outs of it.

I don't think you should post if he doesn't want people knowing his private business but you could invite people round when you're ready.

PrincessRamone · 15/05/2022 16:22

I wouldn’t be comfortable with 200 people who my DH vaguely knows seeing pictures of all the rooms in my house.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 15/05/2022 16:23

It's not right or wrong, you have different views on sharing photos on social media that's all

I'm surprised you didn't already know that already, how has it never even come up in conversation before now?

Whinge · 15/05/2022 16:23

I don't think either of you are wrong, but if he doesn't want his house shared online then I think you need to respect that. I understand it's exciting to see the changes, but surely people close to you will be able to see the progress when they visit?

Mally100 · 15/05/2022 16:23

Ok Even so 200 still wouldn't be ok with me. Sorry op, I agree with your dp. It's such an invasion of privacy. I get that it is your home and you are proud of your renovation but surely 200 people do not need to know that. Can't you send it to just a few people you know via whatsapp?

ineedsun · 15/05/2022 16:24

I wouldn’t be as open about it as your husband but I don’t really ‘get’ Instagram so wouldn’t really want photos of me or my home on there.

RedRec · 15/05/2022 16:24

I wouldn't be comfortable with it either. Am with your husband on this one.

gamerchick · 15/05/2022 16:26

User354354 · 15/05/2022 16:20

He is right. And to be honest, no one really wants to see pictures of your house.

Show quote history

I love seeing before and after pictures of stuff like that.

Take him off your SM. Job done.

trailrunner85 · 15/05/2022 16:26

I would hate DH putting before and after photos of our house on Insta. It feels really show-off (I mean, who gives a fuck what decorating we've done, really?) and also really intrusive. I dont want 200-odd people looking into my living room, and nor would I be arrogant enough to think they wanted to. I know more and more people are doing it though, particularly since Mrs Hinch et al.

I know you could argue that all Insta is show-offy, but "here's a nice beach/hill/sunset which you might like too" jars less with me than "look at my posh house."

luckylavender · 15/05/2022 16:28

I find it terribly odd when people post pictures of their interior renovations. So I'm with your DH. It's always possible to over share.

girlmom21 · 15/05/2022 16:30

@gamerchick taking him off her social media doesn't change the fact he doesn't want the pictures on there.

If you told your husband you didn't want him to post a picture of you two together and he deleted you from his Facebook and posted it anyway because "it's a picture of me too and I want to" would you be ok with that? It's the same principle. It's his privacy that needs to be respected.

itsgettingweird · 15/05/2022 16:31

worraliberty · 15/05/2022 16:18

I really don't think I know 200 people well enough to think they'd be interested in what I have/haven't done to my home?

Totally not the point, I know 😊

I clearly missed the point too as this was my first thought 🤣

I often see these photos on FB too and just scroll on by. If I'm friends enough with someone to care about their house renovations I'm friends enough to visit and see for myself 🤷‍♀️