No photos of new house

[beetuljoos]

DP and I are in the process of renovating our home. Huge job, big changes, lots of effort involved. Very proud of the result. DP is absolutely adamant I cannot put any photos of it on my private instagram account (maybe 200 followers, all people I know). I want to share a few snapshots of it. I don't mean constantly, but share a before/after of a finished room once we complete one perhaps. Is he right?

I wouldn't normally share pictures of the interior of our house, as it definitely as the lived in look! But if we were renovating something (rather than just decluttering and decorating) I would probably post a few pictures. before it got the new lived in look. I have definitely been guilty of posting before and after photos of my garden, which isn't that spectacular but certainly looks better now it has some plants in it!

Ah yes. The cardinal Mumsnet sin of 'you must never display any pride or enjoyment about anything positive in your life or that you have achieved, for that is Showing Off and must be put down at all costs.

What's that got to do with social media though?

why not share things about the parts of your life you're proud of an that bring you interest and joy?

My DH doesn't have any social media. That doesn't mean he misses out on sharing things with his friends & family though. They just do it by talking 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's one of the methods people can and often do choose to use to display their pride and enjoyment.

But I was specifically responding to the poster I quoted, who said it was 'showing off' to share with friends and acquaintances an achievement you're proud of, clearly not seen as a positive in this case.

God forbid people should ever be anything but negative and self-deprecating.

It's probably a security reason and I'd be the same . If I post photos I zoom in so tightly there is no background at all, the subject takes up the whole photo .

At the end of the day anyone important to you will surely be invited around to see it anyway

It's one of the methods people can and often do choose to use to display their pride and enjoyment.

But it's not the only method which was my point.

No, sure. People communicate in different ways.

But to respond again to the question you asked me - the reason I was talking about the concept of 'showing off' in general not necessarily being a slam dunk negative was specifically in response to the PP who seemed to suggest it was.

Social media is particularly great for those of us with friends and acquaintances who live large distances away, where time zones and daily life make face to face or spoken interactions challenging. I'm immensely grateful to be an immigrant in a time of social media rather than before; I feel like I'm missing out on so much less.

But I was specifically responding to the poster I quoted, who said it was 'showing off' to share with friends and acquaintances an achievement you're proud of, clearly not seen as a positive in this case.

I think the showing off issue/debate is interesting. It's definitely more acceptable to show things in a certain way on SM & that's considered positive whereas if that behaviour is displayed in person it's seen as negative eg bragging, elevenerife. i'm not sure what I think but there is clearly a disparity.

Just show it to people when they come to visit.

Why would you assume I would just randomly ping off photos? Obviously it would evolve from a conversation 😆

Fair enough 😂but it still means bringing it up in conversation in the first place, and means the other person kind of has to pretend to be interested if they don't want to look rude.

How does putting them on social media not create pressure for your audience though?

Because nobody is forced to respond to anything posted on social media?

And lots of people have friends and family who live all over the globe, so posting one set of photos to social media is a free, easy and convenient way to share their lives with everyone at all once.

My family are in Australia and my childhood friends live hours away from me - they're not likely to just pop round and visit anytime soon!

@JassyRadlett tbf the person you responded to also mentioned privacy....

I'd just do it anyway tbh! It's your house too and it's your Instagram. If he doesn't want to post on his then he doesn't have to but he doesn't get to veto you!

Because nobody is forced to respond to anything posted on social media?

But who is forced to respond to texts, emails or conversation? Most people can communicate effectively enough to work out if the other person is disinterested or uncomfortable & change the subject. At least I can 😆

Some people have obviously never moved and can't imagine friends/family don't live on their doorstep. Social media is the ideal way of showing friends etc who don't live locally things that are happening in your life. If your social media is locked down tightly, hopefully you won't get randoms looking at your house, but only people you like.

If they are not particularly interested they can scroll past.

He's not necessarily right or wrong... he just probably sees it as over sharing.

This reminds me of a conversation i heard on the train on Friday where someone mentioned seeing their mate's newly renovated pad in the countryside and how amazing it is by snooping on the wife's insta.... which led to the other friend digging out their phone on the train to have a look too.

and you specifically said about posting on Sm & getting a like & a comment. How do you know people don't feel pressured to do that?

This is a great group of you want to share stuff about renovating your house with like minded people -

It's great for inspiration, support and advice.

It's a private group so perhaps your partner might be ok with your doing that rather than just you posting on your own FB for all your friends to see.
https://m.facebook.com/groups/300056586848218?groupvieww_referrer=search

I mean, I don't, but it's hardly my fault if they do feel pressured to like my posts, lol.

But it's not comparable to a private message. Ignoring a private message is generally considered really rude, whereas I really don't care if people like or comment on my general posts.

Some people have obviously never moved and can't imagine friends/family don't live on their doorstep

DH is an immigrant, I'm 2nd gen with only my siblings & one parent in this country. SM is a godsend for communicating with family but we use whatsapp & emails. As I said perhaps it's a generational thing. If someone wants to put a load of house photos on instagram thats their prerogative but those that don't still manage to share joy & positive experiences with their loved ones.

I have most of my relatives in Kenya and the USA.

I send them lots of pictures. Mainly on WhatsApp.

Instagram is not the only way to show the people you love what's going on.

A compromise is possible here. It isn't Instagram or nothing. She wants to share pictures. He wants privacy.

Obvious compromise is share on a private service with family and friends. 🤷‍♀️

Why would you want to?
Home renovations are usually a personal choice.
Fine to invite friends and family round, but broadcasting world-wide?
Bit strange, IMHO.

Well, nobody is FORCED to do anything but it's generally considered pretty rude to ignore someone who's taken time out of their day to message you personally about their lives, lol.

Instagram can be just as private as WhatsApp.

Who said anything about broadcasting worldwide? You can set pretty much all forms of social media to only be viewable by approved followers.